So this is me 2 years ago at around 41 kg.
No I dont have nudes from that time.
Back than I used to eat once a day at max maybe somtimes not even eat at all.
Fortunately I hot it in controle before it could do any damage to me.
Still from time to time I stave my self but I never tray to go beneath 45 kilo.
This is not a story this is a rant but I dont know where else to post it so here it goes, if the mods delete it or its get downvoted I dont give a shit I just want to get it out of my system.
I know this is a kinky sub and most are here to get off ... me to sometimes.
But this time I just need a place to vent.
I had a breakdown yesterday all the memories suppressed so hard just came back made my sick and realise how shit my life is. I overslept aftwards comming late to work and of course my boss noticed and got angry. You cant imagine this man he is a man you dont say no to.
So I did what he asked me to do to keep my job.
I feel disgusted by my self that is a new low for me. I even finished my shift afterwards instead of going home.
Even writing this the screen gets blurry from tears again.
Sometimes I just dont understand where the girl with all the dreams and hope went to?
I wanted to be a veterinarian, work with animals and help them instead I work a shitty job at a shitty bar... you hear that Marc your bar is SHIT. Your customers are SHIT. your dancers are SHIT.
And the worst thing.. I will go back there because rent doenst pay itself.....
Anyway I will pop a xan or two so don't expect me to answer here or any dm's.
Disclaimer: im fine I will not off my self or stupid shit I just have a meltdown and nowhere else to get it of my system.
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Posing in front of the mirror making silly moves teasing the camera but why do I feel like loosing braincells everytime do that like I feel really stupid after posting pictures and reading als your bad messages what you will do to me while rubbing my self to it.