u/xdcrml

It happens often enough that I've lost count. Same position, same sting, same heavy throb afterward. I know the drill, bend over, hold on, breathe through it. The pain's familiar now, almost routine.

But what gets me every time is the aftermath.

In the mirror, I see the same stripes I've seen a dozen times before, raised, angry, purple at the edges. They always fade. But each time, I catch myself thinking: What if this is the time they don't?

I've read about scar tissue building up. About skin that stops bouncing back. I run my fingers over the ridges and wonder how many more times my body can take this before it starts keeping score permanently.

I take care of it, ice, moisturizer, patience. And so far, it's always healed clean. But the worry doesn't heal. It just waits for the next time, it feels so good and Im addicted to it....