u/zenobia_olive

u/Ella-Bella-Sparkle made this, and gave me consent to post this.... although to be fair she gives me consent for most things

So as part of organising the Newbies Night on the 9th of September @ Flamingo (fetlife event here), I have been collecting some data so that we can try to cater to what newbies are looking for. I'll release more of my insights as I process the data, but the first thing to jump out at me is just how many straight young men are interested in the scene, and just how competitive that "space" is.

69% (nice) of all respondents were men (or masculine), and 34% of all respondents were no-homo straight men. That's over a third of possible venue attendees saying that they are exclusively only looking for women. The other third are men who don't mind if the tips touch (but like a bit of boob on occasion), and the final third are all the rest (so the women & gays & genderfluid).

To make it even worse for the straight-only men, nearly two-thirds of those women are Bi (or Bi-adjacent). Meaning that not only are women rarer, but are also likely to want to play with each other over men. (Not including the fact that two-thirds of those women were already in a couple, so will come with another man already)

	Man / Masc	Woman / Femme	Genderfluid
Hetero	34%	4%	0%
Hetero-ish	16%	3%	0%
Bi	14%	16%	1%
Homo	1%	2%	0%
Pansexual	0%	1%	0%
Unsure	4%	4%	0%
	69%	30%	1%

The next section was about age range, and the biggest cohort was men aged 18-25. The women, however, are more likely to be aged in their 30's. Generally, women like to play with men that are near their age or older; while "toy-boys" are a thing it isn't the norm in my experience. So the news get's worse for all those young straight men.

	Man / Masc	Woman / Femme	Genderfluid
18 - 25	17%	3%	0%
25 - 30	13%	7%	0%
30 - 40	15%	12%	1%
40 - 50	12%	6%	0%
50 - 60	10%	1%	0%
60+	2%	1%	0%
	69%	30%	1%

So here are the facts for straight men looking to attend venues:

• The "market" for dick is oversaturated, and women will always have an option
• Two-thirds of women will already be in a couple, so will have strings attached
• Two-thirds of women will be over-30, while nearly two-thirds of men are under-30... and generally women like their men at their maturity level or over
• Women are overwhelming bi (or at least curious enough to try), meaning even more competition to capture the attention of women

My only advice to straight men is basically the title of this post; be more interesting and engaging when you post or comment online. There are hordes of men also vying for the attention of women who are curious about venues, and your bland "sup" isn't gonna get you on the radar. And sometimes, you just gotta show up... most women who go to venues don't post when they are going, so waiting until they do is a fool's errand.

More data to come, but happy to answer any questions you may have!

So as part of organising the Newbies Night on the 9th of September @ Flamingo (fetlife event here), I have been collecting some data so that we can try to cater to what newbies are looking for. I'll release more of my insights as I process the data, but the first thing to jump out at me is just how many straight young men are interested in the scene, and just how competitive that "space" is.

69% (nice) of all respondents were men (or masculine), and 34% of all respondents were no-homo straight men. That's over a third of possible venue attendees saying that they are exclusively only looking for women. The other third are men who don't mind if the tips touch (but like a bit of boob on occasion), and the final third are all the rest (so the women & gays & genderfluid).

To make it even worse for the straight-only men, nearly two-thirds of those women are Bi (or Bi-adjacent). Meaning that not only are women rarer, but are also likely to want to play with each other over men. (Not including the fact that two-thirds of those women were already in a couple, so will come with another man already)

	Man / Masc	Woman / Femme	Genderfluid
Hetero	34%	4%	0%
Hetero-ish	16%	3%	0%
Bi	14%	16%	1%
Homo	1%	2%	0%
Pansexual	0%	1%	0%
Unsure	4%	4%	0%
	69%	30%	1%

The next section was about age range, and the biggest cohort was men aged 18-25. The women, however, are more likely to be aged in their 30's. Generally, women like to play with men that are near their age or older; while "toy-boys" are a thing it isn't the norm in my experience. So the news get's worse for all those young straight men.

	Man / Masc	Woman / Femme	Genderfluid
18 - 25	17%	3%	0%
25 - 30	13%	7%	0%
30 - 40	15%	12%	1%
40 - 50	12%	6%	0%
50 - 60	10%	1%	0%
60+	2%	1%	0%
	69%	30%	1%

So here are the facts for straight men looking to attend venues:

• The "market" for dick is oversaturated, and women will always have an option
• Two-thirds of women will already be in a couple, so will have strings attached
• Two-thirds of women will be over-30, while nearly two-thirds of men are under-30... and generally women like their men at their maturity level or over
• Women are overwhelming bi (or at least curious enough to try), meaning even more competition to capture the attention of women

My only advice to straight men is basically the title of this post; be more interesting and engaging when you post or comment online. There are hordes of men also vying for the attention of women who are curious about venues, and your bland "sup" isn't gonna get you on the radar. And sometimes, you just gotta show up... most women who go to venues don't post when they are going, so waiting until they do is a fool's errand.

More data to come, but happy to answer any questions you may have!

We played some kinky social games like Never Have I Ever and Truth & Dare, plus one of my favourite board games (Concept). It was definitely more of a social affair, but for some couples things definitely got a bit heated (if you know what I mean... thanks everyone for the shows)

A few couples came in and out, especially a few nervous newbies! Hopefully you all had a good first experience of the venue. The Wednesday nights are always a bit more chill than the Saturday night parties, so if you are looking for a large crowd just keep an eye out for those parties!

Next Wednesday will be the last of the weekly nights, before Flamingo switches up to a fortnightly schedule. And to be exact:

• 22nd August (Saturday) - Kinky Karaoke Night
• 26th August (Wednesday) - Regular Couples Night
• 9th September (Wednesday) - Couples/Swingers Newbies Night (hosted meet&greet, fetlife event)
• 19th September (Saturday) - Couples Party (Details TBA)
• 23rd Septenber (Wednesday( - Regular Couples Night

This sub is amazing and doesn't have these bots, but any reddit connoisseur would have encountered the hundreds of bots posting content on the other Sydney-based adult subs...

What's your story dealing with them?

P.S: Never buy them an X-Box gift card hahahaha

What's something that you only realised that you were into only after coming across this reddit / lifestyle?

What's something that you only realised that you were into only after coming across this reddit / lifestyle?

Reminder that (if haven't already) you can participate by going to https://forms.gle/oGHbzUre5iLxafT48

I'm thankful for all the responses to the questionnaire, it has really given me lots to think about. The only thing I'm kicking myself about is that I didn't ask whether the newbie night should be a full-on Flamingo Saturday night event (with food, music, and strippers) or it should be a more chill affair, lasting a couple hour or so of guided socialising and then let people spread out into the rest of the place.

I'll leave a comment for both options below, and I'll let the upvotes guide the way....

Reminder that (if haven't already) you can participate by going to https://forms.gle/oGHbzUre5iLxafT48

It's been over 24 hours and I've got plenty of feedback, some of which I will address here and let the community participate and discuss!

I've editorialised a bit of the responses (and combined a few) to distil the points I want to address so if there is any mistake or dumbass takes it's because of the way I wrote it. And there is a whole bunch I won't be able to get to right now... rest assured, if your comment isn't in the list below it's because I am letting in marinate in my brain for a bit (plus I have regular work to do)

Run it before an event, and if people want to stay for the event they can do so. Might get complex with payments but gives people an easy out if not confident.

Since flamingo usually does events on the Saturday, my plan was to hold it on a Friday... but I am umm-ing and ahh-ing about whether to do it a day before or the night week before. But I do want to try and tie it in to an upcoming event so that people can have a low-cost feel for it in a way that they feel safe. I probably won't do it on the day of an event, though.

Euphoria already does the BDSM stuff, and I don't think BDSM is for everyone. You would be actively isolating people that find BDSM uncomfortable. The event should be focused on SOPs and swinging.

Totally agree, I was thinking that it would be nice to introduce everything and let people decide what to engage in. But I would bet money that someone will conduct a scene in the BDSM room at some point in the night, and that people who are curious about that sort of thing can just go up and watch that. I'll just let a promo run for Euphoria so that people are aware of it and have our small staff-led tours point out where the BDSM room is.

I'd like to see coloured bands to signify certain aspects / I love having coloured bracelets or tags that indicate your orientation and what you are looking for (bi/straight/gay) (open to play/just watching/looking for friends).

This will all depend on costs, but I do like the suggestion of:

• Looking for friends only
• Open to play
• Just watching
• Staff

I could do orientation too, but if we make it too complex then the system breaks down. 3-5 colours sound manageable... but happy to hear suggestions from the audience!

Vetting or rules like xtcgb used to have

I have never heard of xtcgb (I am assuming this is a gangbang and that isn't quite my scene), so if people can link me some established rules that they know work I am happy to take it on board!

Relaxed atmosphere and no pressure for those that attend

That's the idea! I am putting this one up because I have two others I want to address:

• Discourage existing regulars from forming cliques: I'm not their dad (but I can be their daddy hahaha), and I can't force them to be friends with anyone. I'll try my darndest to get people socialising a little bit, but even I sometimes just don't have the social battery to make new friends and I want to just kick back and wank with mates. However, this event IS meant for people who are open to making new friends, so we will encourage people to swap around and meet & greet
• Couples who are open to play with all: Look, this just won't be that sort of event. Yeah, people can play if they want to but the vibe in that will be a social one. If you want play without putting the effort in, maybe look into the upcoming gangbang.

Including and consulting SmuttSlutt/Abi/ME!

100% I am going to be stealing ideas from your Sydney Sauna newbies night hahahaha

Especially after smutt slut stole my last one 🤣

insert an inoffensive Ukraine-Russia joke that won't devolve into commentary about geo-politics....

If you want to discuss geo-politics.... well, for that you need to buy me a drink first hahahaha

Topic is what you like to cum and/or orgasm to and in and over.....

I really, really love giving facials.