Life is only bearable when I'm on adderall
Don't really know if anyone here can advise me but I'm interested if anyone can relate. I was given a depression diagnosis as a child and I don't think I have adhd, though I've always had pretty serious issues with motivation and focus.
I started doing "normal" (commonly prescribed for ADHD) doses of adderall every once in a while and it doesn't make me euphoric, nor does it really feels pleasurable, but it is literally the only time I have any motivation to do things. It suddenly becomes easy to take care of myself and actually study, work out etc. When I'm not on adderall it's basically a daily struggle. I don't know if this means I have adhd but I have basically exhausted every single treatment option for depression and nothing helped. This is really all that helped. I can't afford to do Adderall daily recreationally so I'm not going to start doing it more often but fuck I really don't know what to do.
Again I don't think I have adhd and I'm pretty sure it's just chronic issues caused by depression but I'm seriously considering trying to get an ADHD diagnosis so I can access adderall more easily, my grades are fucked, my life is fucked and no depression treatment has ever helped me. I don't want to be dependent on a drug but the other option also sucks.
Is this common for longterm depression sufferers? Antidepressants did nothing and I've tried like 15 different ones and basically every therapist I had gave up on me