I never thought I would be posting here, but this is getting insane.
So for context, (m)e and my friend na girl are very close since first year college. Third year na kami ngayon and we’re in the same circle. Super platonic ng setup namin and she’s normally clingy naman sa lahat, so never ko na-imagine na magkakagusto ako sa kanya. She’s a solid 10/10—yung tipo na may laban talaga sa utak, katawan, at itsura. I’d say I’m an 8.5/10 in looks, so hindi naman ako dehado.
But lately, nag-iba yung vibe. I’m a timid guy and very observant, kaya ramdam ko yung shift. Hindi na niya ako binubully or inaasar like before. Instead, she’s way more clingy and sobrang nag-blush siya whenever I reciprocate. Mas madalas na rin siya mag-visit sa ate niya lately kasi same way yun pauwi, and she loves hugging me tightly kahit hindi naman siya ganun dati.
One more thing na ginagawa niya—and for sure alam niyang napapansin ko—is yung lowkey niru-rub niya yung boobs niya sa braso ko. Most of the time inaalis ko yung braso ko and I look at her, pero hindi siya umiiwas.
Because of this, I’m seeing her differently na rin. She loves posting thirsttraps, and before, inaasar ko lang siya na kadiri. But lately, oh god, yung videos niya na yung hinahanap ko kapag nagjajakol ako. I keep imagining what it would feel like to finally be inside her. Sobrang tindi ng libog na nararamdaman ko tuwing tinititigan ko yung curves niya sa videos, knowing na literal na katabi ko lang siya sa school.
Ayaw ko masira yung friendship namin because I know how draining it is na magkaroon ng broken circle, lalo na’t kami lang talaga ang nakakagets sa isa’t isa. Pero putangina, I just want to have good sex with her. Gusto ko siyang kantutin nang kaming dalawa lang ang nakakaalam and not tell our friends.
What do you guys think I should do? Should I start showing her signs that I am also down for it? And if ever things go that way, how are we going to hide it from our friends? I really value our circle and ayaw ko talaga ng drama or any awkward vibes if ever.