r/ChristianSwingers

(MF4A) We're newer to the lifestyle, and although this isn't my first time, my husband could use some good natured people who are in the lifestyle to talk with. Male or Female if you like chatting with and supporting new couples please send me a DM.

Has anyone else's pastor hubby admitted that he was involved in gay sex in seminary? Lol!

When my hubby told me I was totally shocked! (This was MANY MANY years ago!) Lifetime baptists and in lifestyles for over 12 yrs now.

Just curious haha.

And yes we're both openly bisexual and are so blessed for it. 🙏🙏

Advice needed. Sorry for the long post. TLDR I only get turned on by groupsex and feel my libido, hubby doesn't want to and now i don't know what to do

I'm F35 thinking of leaving my husband M33 of 7yrs because he doesn't want to pursue an open marriage. It sounds crazy and I never thought this would happen. So, I went through a traumatic sexual experience in my mid 20s, slept with a few people after then met my hubby and sex was painful and I had 0 libido with them all. I always had sex with him, but never felt my sex drive.

He told me a story one day, from his past and a chick gave him head in his car, then his friend after in the backseat. I never thought about groupsex but this story actually turned me on. And I stayed turned on for awhile, idk how to describe it but when I feel my libido its like feeling in flow, warm energized, little to no anxiety or depression, lots of confidence and feeling so sexy. All the time and I thought "wow is this what normal people feel like?" My hubby now says I was feeling lust, that it was a ploy from the devil. But it isn't a fleeting feeling. Its all day/ night and I felt so alive.

So we have a few MFM experiences with his 2 close guy friends. They were exciting because the experiences were new and fun. But I had 0 sexual attraction to them and he didn't want to play with anyone online or meet anyone new. So I said I'm done because I don't want to have sex with anyone I'm not into.

And we dropped it. Since that was a red zone, we decided we wont do any groupsex anymore. And my libido left. I went back to that state of no desire, lots of anxiety and depression.

We became Christian and one of us would have a groupsex fantasy and the other was like OH NO WE CANT BECAUSE GOD. And this time, I was the one with a groupsex fantasy... my libido came back a few weeks ago and instantly I feel grounded, sexy, confident, I finally began to eat healthy and go to the gym. Stuck with it for the first time in over a year.

I brought the topic up last week and he shot it down. Brought it up again today and he calls me crying. I feel so stuck. Like idk what to do. I dont want to lose my libido again or my husband. Only group sex turns me on, I can't help it. Ive tried fantasizing about my hubby only and it doesn't work.

I think i have emotional internal issues with him, and I feel a block in my heart about him. Like a resentment, because I have been waiting 7yrs for him to reenlist in the military. So we can start a family and buy a house and he hasn't committed to studying or working out to go into the army/ specifically special forces. Ive built up resentment, because we're in this life limbo, we cant put real roots down because we are waiting for him to reenlist. And he gets sick or injured and its pushed off. We met in my late 20s and im 35 now. Child clock is ticking. I cant even think of our future without having resentment and sadness because if he'd have just applied for his VA assistance we'd have over 200k from that and a child and house by now. And I don't have anymore joy or hope for him to reenlist, but he says he still wants too. And i cant convince him otherwise.

I really feel at a crossroads. Keep waiting and waiting for him to reenlist and have the family (IF my body will let me). Or move on my own and live my own life. I had kids names picked out. I wanted to grow old with him but I dont know anymore. I feel numb towards him.

I just wish he could have tried this groupsex dynamic out. He says after he enlists and we have a kid we can.. But I know he won't. I think he was trying to manipulate me and babytrap me. He thinks understandable, mainstream things about being Christian marriage and sexuality. This subreddit has helped me embrace my sexuality, for the fleeting moments I had allowed myself that sexual freedom. Then I shut it down out of respect for my husband.

Been a day since our talk and I feel very checked out. Looking at apartments and leaving it all behind. I won't rush into this, praying to God for guidance.. Has anyone gone through something similar? I am going to try marriage counseling, but I really don't want to live without my libido. And I don't want to have private kink fantasies, because I know id try to talk to my husband about it and upset him. I wouldnt cheat, but i love looking at local GW subreddits and thinking of the fun we could have. And looking at cute guys in my walking life.

I feel like I'm doomed if I divorce because we Christians aren't supposed to. Doomed if I want groupsex because my husband's beliefs and Christians arent supposed to. Doomed if I stay in this marriage, because I have lost my libido, and fantasies and sexual desire. I feel like there is no "good way out" for me. Maybe if God gives me a natural libido for my hubby only. I had been praying to God for my libido back, and I thought this was my prayer being answered. I just don't know what God's plan is for me.

Anyways, if you read this far thank you so much. Reading this subreddit has helped me so much.

This was a mutual fantasy that we had talked about for years before actually trying it. The idea really excited us both, and we would get the tingles and butterflies even when we discussed it. My wife was really shy and nervous about actually trying it though, so I just let her process it and work up the courage at her own pace. It was about five years later when she decided that she felt ready to take the leap and bring our fantasy to fruition. We got to know somebody online for about a month, then we invited him to our house. Her and I both enjoyed it immensely and absolutely love doing this now.

We are a couple who are deeply in love and have a very close bond, so our sex style is always intimate, romantic lovemaking. This is one thing we are always sure to initially make clear to anybody we are getting to know because we don't want the spectator to be someone who is looking for ultra-pornified, lascivious sensationalism; we want somebody who will appreciate witnessing the intimacy of a couple with a loving bond romantically making love.

One thing we really enjoy about this is the excitement it elicits in the both of us. We love that naughty, excited butterflies feeling that you get in your abdomen that you get when something is out of the ordinary and taboo; it's so thrilling to us how it makes our bodies quiver and tremble involuntarily. But at the same time, the whole scenario feels more wholesome than it does pervy or debauched because it's not pornified. It's like we get to experience the tenderness of making love while simultaneously enjoying the thrill of the taboo, naughty butterflies that make your abdomen feel like a cement mixer lol.

This is something that we want to do indefinitely. We would prefer to find a regular that we can cultivate a connection with because that would just make this whole thing even more special if it's someone who we could get to know and develop a social bond with. It would feel so special to be able to share our most sacred act of intimacy with someone who became a close friend of ours over time. I'm sure it will happen eventually if we just keep talking to people online.

I'm not sure what else to say about this, but if anyone has any questions about anything I didn't touch upon, feel free to ask!

Couples or BBC only wife gonna suck my cock later wanna video chat when she does. MUST be able to verify

Anyone here whose parents were involved in this lifestyle

We are a married couple live in Destin FL we are looking for a couple to be friends with in and out of the bedroom

For me, a Christ-centered life begins with three pillars: Christ dying on the cross for us, His Great Commandment to love, and His Great Commission. And let’s be clear—the Great Commission is not a passive suggestion. It is a direct call to action. It demands that we step out into the world, meet people exactly where they are, and engage with them authentically.

Yet, so many faith-oriented couples are paralyzed by anxiety because they’re trying to navigate the modern Church’s confusing "doctrine" regarding sex and where it actually fits into our shared humanity.

If you look back at the Apostles' Creed—one of our earliest, purest expressions of Christian faith—it is a beautiful statement worth memorizing. But notice what is not in it: nowhere does it say you have to give up your humanity, your desires, or your capacity for deep, physical connection to be a follower of Christ. It is a statement of faith in God, not a rulebook for sexual shame.

The widespread belief in the Christian community that any sexual expression outside a traditional, strictly exclusive marriage is inherently evil is a historical construct. It wasn't taught by Christ. It was an idea put forth by men creating church doctrine hundreds of years after Christ’s ascension—doctrine that was highly self-serving for the politics and social control of that specific era.

When we strip away those centuries of man-made guilt, we can see sex for what it truly is. I absolutely hate the clinical, sterile term "ethical non-monogamy." It robs the act of its spirit. Sex isn't an acronym or a legal contract; it is one of the most pure, beautiful forms of human interaction we’ve been gifted.

To break down how sex actually functions in our humanity, I always look at it through Four Distinct Frameworks:

• 1. Sex for Dating: This is the realm of romantic exploration, attraction, and anticipation. It can be as simple as a meaningful kiss or something more as a relationship builds.
• 2. Marital Sex: The deep, exclusive expression of vulnerability, love, and intimacy that you share uniquely with your spouse to anchor your marriage.
• 3. Sex for Procreation: The beautiful, intentional act of starting, building, and growing a family.
• 4. Recreational Sex: Sex enjoyed for the pure fun, pleasure, and joyful human connection of it.

When we enter lifestyle spaces as clear-eyed, mature Christians, we aren't abandoning our faith—we are living out our humanity fully and without shame. By showing up as loving, honest, and respectful people in every circle we enter, we are answering that call to action. We are bringing a Christ-centered heart into places where people desperately need to see that faith and real human joy can coexist.

35M31F
We’re newer to the lifestyle and trying to navigate it thoughtfully as a Christian couple. One of the hardest parts for us is the fear of being recognized or judged while exploring this side of our sexuality and marriage. We care deeply about our relationship, our faith, and treating others with respect, but the shame and anxiety around being “found out” can still feel overwhelming at times.

We’d really love to connect with kind, emotionally mature people who’ve been in the lifestyle longer and who understand the mix of excitement, doubt, nervousness, curiosity, and vulnerability that can come with it. We’re not looking for pressure or pushing boundaries — more than anything, we’re hoping to find supportive friends, mentors, or couples who value communication, discretion, emotional safety, and reassurance while we learn what feels right for us.

If anyone has advice for navigating the fear, guilt, or anxiousness that can come with being both faith-oriented and lifestyle-curious, we’d genuinely appreciate the support.

I am just curious what people do about the potential for pregnancy, or are most past the age for that to happen? Even with protection, a pregnancy could happen! just wondering if people have consideration for this.

For me, a Christ-centered life begins with three pillars:

• Christ dying on the cross for us
• Great Commandment to love, and
• His Great Commission.

And let’s be clear—the Great Commission is not a passive suggestion. It is a direct call to action. It demands that we step out into the world, meet people exactly where they are, and engage with them authentically.

Yet, so many faith-oriented couples are paralyzed by anxiety because they’re trying to navigate the modern Church’s confusing "doctrine" regarding sex and where it actually fits into our shared humanity.

If you look back at the Apostles' Creed—one of our earliest, purest expressions of Christian faith—it is a beautiful statement worth memorizing. But notice what is not in it: nowhere does it say you have to give up your humanity, your desires, or your capacity for deep, physical connection to be a follower of Christ. It is a statement of faith in God, not a rulebook for sexual shame.

The widespread belief in the Christian community that any sexual expression outside a traditional, strictly exclusive marriage is inherently evil is a historical construct. It wasn't taught by Christ. It was an idea put forth by men creating church doctrine hundreds of years after Christ’s ascension—doctrine that was highly self-serving for the politics and social control of that specific era.

When we strip away those centuries of man-made guilt, we can see sex for what it truly is. I absolutely hate the clinical, sterile term "ethical non-monogamy." It robs the act of its spirit. Sex isn't an acronym or a legal contract; it is one of the most pure, beautiful forms of human interaction we’ve been gifted.

To break down how sex actually functions in our humanity, I always look at it through Four Distinct Frameworks:

• 1. Sex for Dating: This is the realm of romantic exploration, attraction, and anticipation. It can be as simple as a meaningful kiss or something more as a relationship builds.
• 2. Marital Sex: The deep, exclusive expression of vulnerability, love, and intimacy that you share uniquely with your spouse to anchor your marriage.
• 3. Sex for Procreation: The beautiful, intentional act of starting, building, and growing a family.
• 4. Recreational Sex: Sex enjoyed for the pure fun, pleasure, and joyful human connection of it.

When we enter lifestyle spaces as clear-eyed, mature Christians, we aren't abandoning our faith—we are living out our humanity fully and without shame. By showing up as loving, honest, and respectful people in every circle we enter, we are answering that call to action. We are bringing a Christ-centered heart into places where people desperately need to see that faith and real human joy can coexist.

LV-Vixen