r/PnPCloudsFortWayne

This probably won't read like the average post around here, but then again, I've never been particularly good at being average. NSA or being the other woman holds no interest to me and will not be entertained. I'm introspective and curious. I wouldn't call myself book smart, but I am told I pick up on new-to-me concepts fairly quickly. I need a fellow curious researcher, inventor, builder, thinker—a Gardener interested in growing and cultivating people as much as their harvest.

​

I am somewhat recently single and moved to the Ft Wayne area, about 30 minutes west of there near Churubusco, and find myself lonely as my days drag on. It would be nice to have someone close by to hang and smoke with. Might as well call me Hell's Train cuz I do be lovin' them hot rails...

​

Okay, that was a bad one lol. You will be suffering bad puns and dad jokes just to warn you early on. I will judge you on how you treat pink collar workers.

​

I love:

​

TTG such as -

​

* Texas Holdem/Omaha poker

* Rummy, Gin Rummy, Uno, Phase 10, and other playing card games

* DnD

* Cthulhu's Vault

* Betrayal at the House on the Hill

* Arkham Horror

​

Video games such as -

​

* Final Fantasy

* Fire Emblem

* Mortal Kombat / Street Fighter

* Animal Crossing

* Pokemon

* Legend of Zelda

* Turn based RPGs like Eternal Sonata, learning FPS games by playing Halo at the moment but depth perception sucks

​

Hobbies such as -

​

* Coloring, painting, sewing

* Creating and building things from clothes to bookshelves

* Fixing things like simple car/home repairs

* Finding/learning new-to-me information and sharing what I learn or putting it to use

* Sorting and organizing

* Debates about the past, mythology, and other theoreticals and unknowns

* Singing

* Writing - I'm actually working on something fairly important, breathing life into an integral truth in the hopes of publishing in a few months or a year

​

Music such as -

​

* Ghost, Strapping Young Lad, HIM, Rammstein, Disturbed, Type O Negative, Kill Karl

* Panic at the Disco, Good Charlotte, Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Lacuna Coil, Flyleaf, Father of Peace

* Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez, The Tech Thieves, Vana, Manic Kassy, Halsey, Geordie Kieffer

* Ren, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Fergie, Akon

* Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Ella Fitzgerald, Gene Austin

* David Bowie, Pink Floyd, Queen, Jimmy Castor Bunch, The Beatles, Steve Miller Band, Peter Gabriel, Todd Rundgren

​

Show/Movie genres -

​

* Horror, thriller, suspense

* Comedy, romantic, feel good

* Anime, foreign films

​

NSFW (in case things head that way) -

​

* PVC/leather, fishnet, lingerie is required on my end. I'll never be completely naked willingly for the act. Heels are often part of this equation.

* 95% submissive, but if the right buttons are pushed, I've found I have a desire and the power to make la petite mort seem like edging.

* Societal gender norms play no part in my expectations. We could be wearing matching leather skirts and heels and I'll still view you as you are—a human I've bonded with enough to share my body with.

* I take the BDSM lifestyle seriously. My first dominant when I was a young adult helped build my foundation by modifying Old Guard rules to work for us. Though I'd love to find that level again, I understand the commitment of it and am mostly okay with the casual style I tend to see today. As long as I can call you Daddy or Sir, I'm generally happy.

​

I do not understand a lot of different social cues and interactions. I find it easy to open up about childhood trauma, yet cannot seem to open my mouth about my current struggles in the moment. Identifying emotions and understanding why others, as well as myself, act the way we do are very confusing to me. I have BPD and anxiety. I have not been formally diagnosed, but there is very strong evidence to suggest autism and ADHD as well. For these reasons, I do need people to be as open, honest, and forthcoming as possible.

​

My habit came last year and I still somewhat struggle with the morality, but I've come to embrace what I've gained from the experience. I'm staying with a friend for now that does not know that I smoke... To me, I hate having to lie about a fundamental everyday part of myself. Authenticity is something I value more than most other qualities, which is why I'm looking for someone who shares my proclivities.

​

I am looking for friendship, but I'm not particularly interested in deciding the ending before the story has even begun.

​

I'm not looking for a knight in shining armor. I've spent enough years learning how to carry my own sword and shield, fight my own battles, and mend my own wounds. My path is mine to walk, and whether I stumble or triumph, I want those steps to belong to me.

​

What I'm looking for is something much simpler and, in my opinion, much rarer. Companionship. Someone to share ideas, laughter, curiosity, comfort, and quiet moments with. Someone to come home to after a long day of battling the world. Not because I need saving, but because even warriors deserve a place to rest.

​

Smoking may be the reason we meet, but it is far from the most important thing about us.

​

The truth is, I often worry that my presence is more trouble than it's worth. If you find yourself wanting a good girl in your life, I hope you'll judge me by what I give rather than what I fear. I tend to show affection through usefulness. I'm the sort who remembers the little details, shares what she's learned, tries to solve problems, and looks for ways to lighten the load for the people she cares about. Not because it's expected of me, but because caring for people has always come naturally.

​

I overthink everything. I am scared and easily startled with sudden, loud noises. I do not allow drinks from the same cup because saliva is gross. I generally do not allow others to touch me, even for a handshake, outside of those I've developed a bond with on a deeper level. I would be more than happy with watching TV and sharing, cuddling, debating, creating, etc.

​

Superficial holds no value to me or my life. I refuse to go the distance in a half-assed manner. I'm looking for far more than a random hookup or your common acquaintance dalliance. I want people I can laugh with that comes deep from your belly. I want people I can cry with when life threatens to shatter our souls. I want people who share my penchant for offering gentle warmth when life leaves us to perish in the harsh cold grip of society. The world is cruel and I am looking for those gems of people who want to be the place where adventurers can take a long rest before the battles against tomorrow's monsters.

​

So what does hold value to me? Curiosity.

​

If you've read this far, you've probably realized I'm not looking for convenience. I'm looking for connection, and at the heart of that connection is curiosity.

​

As for you? I don't particularly care whether you're book smart. I care whether you're curious.

​

I want someone who sees a question and feels it under their skin until they find an answer. Someone who doesn't shrug and move on because the answer isn't immediately useful. Someone who follows rabbit holes so deep they occasionally forget where they started. If we find ourselves wondering how many bumblebees it would take to reach the moon, I want someone who ends up researching insect anatomy, atmospheric pressure, orbital distances, and somehow arrives three hours later debating whether an advanced alien civilization would consider humanity an intelligent species.

​

I want someone I can think with.

​

Not because I need someone to tell me what to think, but because I want someone who loves the pursuit as much as I do. Someone who understands that ignorance is not a flaw. Willful ignorance is. Someone who is willing to teach and be taught, challenge and be challenged, question and be questioned. Someone who feels comfortable enough to offer a different perspective without belittling mine and who understands that growth rarely comes from certainty.

​

Truthfully, I don't care what you look like. Your ethnicity, your disabilities, your strengths, your weaknesses, your fears—none of those things are what draw me to people. What draws me in is that moment when someone's eyes light up and they forget to be self-conscious. The moment they become so excited about an idea, a hobby, a dream, a theory, or a passion that they stop performing for the world and simply become themselves. That moment tells me more about a person than a hundred carefully crafted introductions ever could.

​

Curiosity and passion have a way of stripping away the masks society asks us to wear. The masks of productivity. The masks of expectation. The masks of who we think we're supposed to be. When people become genuinely fascinated, they often reveal the soul underneath all of that. That's the person I want to know.

​

I don't want comfort. I want discovery. I don't want certainty. I want understanding. I don't want someone who sees passion and instinctively reaches for a bucket of water. I want someone who notices the spark and starts gathering kindling. Someone who is hungry enough to keep asking questions long after everyone else has accepted the answers they were given.

​

Question the world with me. Question assumptions. Question traditions. Question the stories we've inherited and the answers we've been handed. Let us challenge ideas without attacking people. Let us pursue understanding rather than victory. Let us build a place where curiosity is safe, where growth is celebrated, and where neither of us has to shrink ourselves to make the other comfortable.

​

The world has enough people content with what they already know. I know how to cook. I'm looking for someone hungry enough to pull up a chair and make it a potluck.

​

Come as you are, polished or diamond in the rough. It doesn't matter if you're currently healing, have healed, or were never damaged in the first place. Come as you are. You've heard and seen the first glimpse of me. Is there an ache, a pull at your center? Do I resonate within you? As I reach for you, do you find yourself wanting to reach for me too? Please do so.

​

Whatever we do, however we share our habit and our souls, all I ask is for a genuine connection. My stardust is floating somewhere, I just know it...

​

Where are you? Here I am, now take my hand...

​

P.S. When you message, don't come with a superficial low-effort energy, though if this resonates with you, I doubt you'll be the type to just send "hey dtf?". I'll be waiting.