r/RandomActsOfMuffDive

I'll be along the yellow line of bart. In the 925 area.

Hey divers! I'll be in town this weekend and just looking for a nice, cool, chill, fun, dude to share some sativa and snacks with while we watch horror movies. The thing is, I'm a big baby when I comes to horror movies, go down on me and make it easier?

Yes just like a terrible porn scenario :)

Me, curvier ginger (if skinny girls are your thing, that's cool, it's just not me. Blue eyes, average height and built, but a little fluffy, clean, trimmed, love dad jokes, could probably out smoke you. I'm just your next door average girl neighbor with a kinky side.

You, clean, well kept, experienced, can host, mid 30's early 40's, kinky, respectful. We could stay homies, or not. Introduce yourself. Dumb, low effort, soliciting dm will be ignored.

Chubby Asian slut that is in desperate need to cum on a cuties face. I can host on certain days or car play is also fine by me(:!
Please message me about your self, don’t just say “hi”.
No reciprocation on my end! If you’re looking for something in return, then sorry this isn’t for you

Curvy, feminine, confident, doll faced size 16 after losing 60 pounds and still dropping weight daily. Also married and not getting what I need at home.

My type: tall, handsome face, broad shoulders. I don't look my age and tend to prefer men who are younger than I am, but as long as you're young in spirit, that's all that matters. I would much rather find one person with good chemistry than collect random encounters.

I met someone through here before and it was nice, but he's too busy with family and too far away. This time I'd rather find someone more accessible and convenient.

Please send me a photo of your face after I accept your chat, or you will be ignored. I'll send mine in return. Clean, respectful, discreet, confident, and kind are all welcome. Hope to hear from you!

Imm 18 weeks pregnant single and horny. I already had a high sex drive, but pregnancy has taken it to a new level. My hormones are raging, and I really just want to misbehave. Don't take it easy on me just because I am pregnant

I'm not huge but you can tell I'm pregnant. If you have a pregnant kink or fetish

Mixed, black and white, 5'5 big butt, open to more than oral

Hello! I’m a switch pillow princess who’s shy at first but definitely freaky with the right connection🤭

I’m cute, tall, woc and have a curvy, slim-thick build (130 lbs).

I have a particular preference for ass worship/praise, rimming & ass play and I’d love to find a cute face to ride🫣 I’m looking for someone who’s comfortable with a dynamic where reciprocation isn’t expected, so strictly no reciprocation or sex. I just want to use you as my human vibrator and I’d prefer that you stay dressed.

DDF only with recent test results. Preferably 30–40, cute, straight and single. Please don’t waste either of our time.

If you’re interested, please include your age, location, a little about yourself and what caught your interest about this dynamic and if you have a sub/dom preference🫶

Femme Lesbian, Tattoo'd & Pierced Asian, 5'3'', Slim. Looking to please! I love giving praise and affection. Let me take care of you for as long as you want. I'm okay with first timers or people who are just curious. Don't be shy if you're never been with a woman before but want to try it!

Hello, I made a post on here earlier this month and things didn’t go as expected…It seems that I got ‘too ambitious,’ or perhaps the world wasn’t quite ready for me to strike luck thrice. For my MFM fantasy, I had a previous RAOMD partner on board, but I was looking for a new one to join in on the fun. After over a week of thoroughly discussing our sexy interests and the ‘unsexy’ logistical items, we all set a vibe check date for drinks. All seemed well - I even reconfirmed the meeting the day prior. However, I was unfortunately blocked and ghosted either the night before or the day of the meeting….boo. You could have just said you weren’t interested anymore lol. Oh well! 

Work is amping up again and the weather is getting chillier, so I’m here again to end my summer on a high note. Other than the ghosting, it’s been a very exciting, pleasurable, and delicious season overall! I’m going back to the basics and looking for one suitor to please this pussy of mine. I’m putting a pin in my MFM fantasy for now…but hopefully not for long (if you’re intrigued, please do let me know though).

About me - Black/mixed race, cute, chubby and petite 5”3 F looking to fully surrender and be eaten out. DDF and hygienic. Not able to host, but I can travel to some areas in the GTA. Not interested in car or public play. I would describe my personality as easy-going, introverted, and endearing, but also someone who is direct and doesn’t like their time wasted. I have a big ass and small tits. I love massages! I drink alcohol socially, but I prefer coffee/tea. If you're looking to lean into your submissive side, I can be your gentle domme that rewards your good work with soothing head pets (they've been very well received). I don’t like to shave; I keep this pussy trimmed and I need someone who loves that.

You - Must be hygienic, DDF (but 420 friendly), and provide proof of recent STI testing, as I will do the same. Within the 27-35 age range. If you’re outside of my age range, don’t message me! Mutual attraction and safety is important, so we must meet in public first of course. I’m not interested in any racists, homophobes, transphobes, ableists, xenophobes, etc. Really, to all anti-human right POVs, please scroll away from this post…Understanding consent, boundaries and clear communication is the bare minimum. I like a partner who’s kind, witty, easy-going, and a clear communicator, but NOT pushy. 

I won’t respond to vague and low effort messages. Instead, tell me your age, a bit about yourself, and what excites you the most about making a woman the centre of your pleasure…and hers. 

Things that bring me joy in case you wanted to know: lifting heavy, hiking, plants, crocheting, reading, cats, being in nature, coffee shops, music, yoga, skating, travelling, & baking.

I’ll know if you read this far if you tell me your favourite café in the city or a book you’re currently reading (or both)! 😘

Edit to add: If my post got you excited…good because it should. 😌 But, after being on this subreddit for a few months and receiving manyyy boring/awful messages, my advice to men is to perhaps save this post and ‘sort yourself out’ first lol. Then, you can come back to it later and message me something that’s worth reading and responding to. You don't have to write a novel to get my attention. Just be thoughtful.

Looking for someone to lick me while I read a book or watch tv.

I want to use you for my pleasure. I want to sit on your face and slowly ride it until it's covered in my wetness. I want to feel your fingers in me while I touch myself to orgasm all over your face and have you lick me clean. I want to lay on my back while you slowly let your tongue wander down the road.

And I want someone who wants these exact same things, who would get pleasure from giving me pleasure because there will be no reciprocation.

I prefer to discuss our likes and dislikes beforehand so we are perfectly aligned on what we are looking for from this encounter. The most important is that we treat eachother as humans, decently, even if it's casual.

Please be honest and don't lie about your age or your relationship status among other things.

About me :

-32, foreigner, live in the suburbs of Paris, speak and understand french but prefer english

- 53 kg, 162 cm, brunette, clean/ DDF

- trimmed, if you prefer fully shaved then this post isn't for you

- introverted irl

- have a body that's very senstive and responsive to being licked and kissed in all the right spots

You:

-between 33 and 39 y.o

- gentle, kind and especially patient

- fit, having a medium length hair is a plus

- clean, DDF

- have a fetish for going down on a woman ( pillow princess and face sitting), get off on her pleasure

- have a thing for going further down

- more on the submissive side is a plus ( I'm slightly more dominant)

- not expecting any reciprocation because there will be none.

- single ( not 'married but we are basically roomates, nor ' I have a gf but it's complicated', really single, I don't want to be involved in cheating activities)

- able to host at your place

If you feel like you relate to this post, send a pic of yourself ( face/body) and tell me more about you and how you relate to what I said :) I will send you my verification body picture and face pic in return, and lets see how things will work out! We would meet for a drink in public first then we will take it from there.

Edit: for some reason, I can only see the message when I accept the message request. Thank you :)

Historically, I've had a nice amount of success on this board; great encounters full of chemistry and connection and orgasms with thoughtful, articulate, talented men. I suppose I was due a string of bad luck.

After my last post, I sifted through the many, many responses. Women who have made a post will know how daunting this can be, and dispiriting when confronted with just how many of those are from low effort chances that haven't actually read what you wrote. In Edinburgh right now is the largest performing arts festival in the world, so the number of horny tourists was overwhelming - it was bad timing on my part, but the muff wants what the muff wants.

However amongst those there appeared to be a few gems. Entertaining, considered responses, though chats dwindled to nothing after a few days. I'm used to some chats just burning out, but not ALL of them. I made a couple dates with the chats that persevered and seemed to develop, and was cancelled on by three different men.

Apparently in the whole of a city where our population is temporarily doubled there was suddenly a huge lack of available tongue talent. My luck may have been about to change though, I was heading out of town for a week and a man I had connected with over a year prior, but never had the chance to meet, was due to be there for work. I had developed a significant amount of chemistry with him over that time, and had no doubt that we would be each other's release. It's incredibly unusual I'll keep in contact with someone I'm not making plans to imminently meet and get bored of trying to create a conversation out of just text - so the fact he still had my pussy in such a firm grip of fantasy speaks volumes to his allure.

However, a personal situation arose for him out of the blue and he had to cancel as well. I'm sure his situation was significantly worse than mine to be in, so I felt guilty about how deflated I was and tried to shrug it off. I looked instead for a post made where I was now to respond to and found someone.

We did click, we did meet up, but honestly it wasn't fair on him. We sat in a pub whilst he was sweet and attentive and all I could think was how he wasn't the man I had originally planned to meet that night. I didn't think it remotely fair to go through with something that my heart, and loins, weren’t invested in right now. I apologised to him and he was a gentleman about it. He did ask if I wanted to just kiss and cuddle, and I said no thank you, my mind was elsewhere and I wasn't feeling it. Nothing to do with him, and I'm sure with his approach he'll have a good chance at successes. I've offered to be a reference for his character and approach, and I hope he wasn't knocked down by it all.

I'm heading back to Edinburgh in a couple days, and will probably concede defeat on my latest attempt. I got a bit too worn down this time so by the time I was sat opposite a lovely man I just couldn't anymore.

We live and learn. I maybe won't immediately make new plans just to try fake my way through disappointment in the future. Hopefully the good times will resume on my next attempt.

Good luck out there!

I’m curvy, attractive and dominant.

5’7”, 36G tits, thicc ass, long curly brown hair that looks red in the sun.

I’m looking for a cute new toy to break in this weekend. I plan on sitting on your face and training you to subsist on my pussy and ass rather than oxygen. And if you’re a very good boy and do an excellent job, you might even get rewarded. Possibly with an hours-long edging session…or more.

Looking for large, physically imposing men who normally are/act dominant. 25+ only. Include a detailed physical description or I won’t reply.

Ebony pyt with a fat creamy leaky pussy whos looking for someone to suck this clit slow and sloppily. Nasty and serious DMs only please. Ive been backed up and waiting to leave a huge mess on someones face for weeks

Hello all! I am based in a small town near Munich (approx 2.5 hrs from train) and am looking for a hot fling. I am conventionally attractive (skinny but hourglass figure), 52 kgs, 5'4" and a brunette with a badass pixie haircut. I would love to receive oral, engage in foreplay and hot makeout sessions but no penetrative sexual encounter. You can take the role of a pleasure dom or I can also wear my dominatrix boots and boss you around- I like it both ways ;) Love sensual and gentle people who know how to be tender and sexy at the same time. I personally like men who look after themselves, have curly hair and are fashionable (and if they are into makeup/accessories thats a plus), between the ages 24-34. With women I am strictly into mascs (sorry femmes) and the age range is same. We can meet in public first and then in my apartment. If you live far from my town, we can discuss the logistics :)
Drop me a message with a short physical description and a little bit about yourself. I prefer to communicate in English.

I’m looking for a woman, no men or M/F couples. No, a man cannot be present. I will ignore any DM’s about anything other than a woman looking to connect after reading this post. Thanks.

I am seeking a sexy discreet woman that loves to eat. I love nipple play as well and just love to be worshipped. I’d love someone for ongoing play and fun. I prefer black BBW. Happy hunting to you all!

I love giving creamy facials to good boys.

If 5’9 thick thighs wrapped around your ears is your cup of tea, we’ll have a good time.

My preference is someone who’s hygienic, nice teeth, and can engage in witty banter.

Please send a msg w/ your 411 & an intro & I’ll respond if I think we’d be a match. 📝 Pls make your first msg count :)

I posted last week looking for someone, someone specifically overworked and overtired, in dire need of some tender loving care in the form of a head between their thighs and back to recount the success of an encounter that took place last Friday night.

I woke up to a message in my inbox, from, let’s call her S to protect her anonymity. S could not have encapsulated whom I was seeking for this encounter any more perfect, if she tried. To be honest, I don’t know how there’s enough hours in the day to do what she does on a daily basis. From her initial message, it was clear she needed some time to herself, time to enjoy herself, time focused on her and a release. Something I could help with. From S’ first message, she was deliberate, clear with what she wanted and I liked that. We quickly exchanged photos, mutual physical attraction was most certainly there and from there we spoke of logistics. There was a window of opportunity at lunch time that day, but I unfortunately had a pesky thing called work in the way. S offered up a meeting at night however I had concrete plans at night too so we spoke of meeting another day. As we exchanged messages throughout the day, and messages became more charged and sexual by the minute, I couldn’t leave S waiting another day. I needed to help her. I would attend my plans at night but leave early so I could give S what she needed. Day turned to night, and while my plans at night should’ve kept me for a couple of hours at least, as S texted me throughout, I couldn’t bear it any longer. I excused myself and found myself driving to her place much earlier than expected. Now while messaging, I had initially joked early in our messages, “just leave the door open - I’ll let myself in, just lay on your bed and I’ll get to work”. On my way there, S confirmed, “door is open, let yourself in, I’ll be waiting”. Now if I wasn’t excited before, I was desperate to get to S as soon as I could.

I arrive, as expected, door unlocked - I let myself in and find S laying on her bed, looking unbelievably sexy in just black lingerie. Admittedly, the rest is a bit of a blur. We kissed before exchanging names such was the need to feel one another. I teased and caressed and it wasn’t long till I had removed S’ underwear. I made sure to kiss and tease every part of S’ body before making my way downstairs. It was playful, it was sexy, it was everything you could ever want. S was unbelievable, she was equal parts cheeky and equal parts soft and sensual. I wanted to ensure each part of her was worshipped. While we started slow, as S responded positively, I quickened the pace with my tongue and slid in my fingers upon S’ request. Some positive reinforcement provided in the way of thighs squeezing my head, hair pulling and loud moans, I knew S was enjoying herself. And while I had said I wasn’t after any reciprocation, S insisted and am I glad she did. The more explicit details I will leave to the imagination. We laughed, spoke about life and agreed we’d have to do it again in the future.

Hi, and thanks for reading!

I'll be honest: I don't do this often, and I'm not someone who is out meeting a lot of people. It's something I've wanted to offer for a while and never actually have. What I'm offering is simple. Oral, with nothing expected back. Quick if that's what you want, or slow if you'd rather take your time. Entirely your call on when, where, and how often.

About me: 34, 6'3, fit, based in New York City. Northern New Jersey is easy for me too. I can get to Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, Jersey City, Hoboken, and most of Bergen County without any trouble, and I'm flexible on evenings and weekends. Health is not something I take lightly. I've been tested recently, including type specific HSV-1 and HSV-2, and I'm negative for everything. I'm glad to show you my results, happy to get tested again, and I'd appreciate the same from you before anything happens. Hygiene goes without saying.

I'm also happy to verify or video chat first. You shouldn't have to take anyone's word for it. If it's a one time thing, that's completely fine. If it turned into something ongoing that you could just ask for whenever you wanted, I'd like that, but nothing needs deciding now. If you're curious, or just want to ask a few questions first, send me a message :)

I'm a mature BBW in Auckland, New Zealand and I'm hoping against hope that there's a lovely man here who'd be only too happy to lick my stress away with care, sensitivity and gusto!

I'm a mighty 5'2", fat and pretty, Pākehā, with brown hair and eyes, glasses. I'm into intensity and passion - I will moan fulsome praise if you make me feel good as I'm engaged and demonstrative. A squirter, too.

DM me, please! 😊

Looking for a true muncher , I posted on the GeorgiaFWB but everyone is in Atlanta . I rather it be someone as far as Macon as I can’t host but can travel .

Lil about me :

5’1 , 180s lbs (chubbish) , and mixed (don’t be afraid to ask) . I don’t shave and haven’t had my wax yet but I’d trim down . I preferably wanna ride a face as well but laying back I don’t mind either . Please only be near or in the local area and prefer older .

Hi divers,

Thanks for clicking my post.

IT'S A LONG READ, BUT PLEASE READ IT CAREFULLY.

I'm looking for something quite specific so apologies in advance and no disrespect, but I won't respond if you aren't what I'm looking for.

I don't host but am willing to meet at a hotel or your place after an in-person meet (willing for this to be same day). I'm based in South London but open to travelling within reason.

ABOUT ME:

Ethnicity/nationality - Black British

Age - 33

Height - 165cm / 5'4

Body type - curvy/athletic

Hair and eyes - black (buzzed) and brown

Status - DDF & not on contraception

(last tested 5/08/26)

I'm looking for someone relatively experienced, very patient and familiar with a woman's body. I would like someone who takes pleasure in sensuality and drawing out pleasure rather than rushing to the finish line.

I'd like to be massaged from head to toe, maybe edged a little bit and then led to multiple orgasms with a combination of your mouth and fingers. I enjoy internal and external g-spot stimulation, if done right while I'm relaxed enough I can squirt multiple times. I enjoy that a lot but just orgasms are also great. If you like ass play that's fun too but I'm also good without it.

I want to hear my partner having a good time either verbally or with sounds. Dirty talk is welcome but no to degradation - I don't enjoy being called names like slut, bitch, cumdump or dirty girl etc.

I don't mind if you're clothed or naked, I enjoy feeling and seeing signs of physical arousal. Especially if you're prone to leaking yourself, a hard print with a visible wet spot is hot.

If you can't speak clearly about an act you shouldn't be asking someone for it. I appreciate clear communication (without being crude were possible) and people being upfront about limits and boundaries. You can always ask if there's something you like in particular, face-sitting, a particular position, a kink.

Don't waste my time and I won't waste yours :)

I'm not interested in unsafe sex, race play or unnegotiated kink.

Please don't lie because that will just piss me off and I'll report your account. We're all entitled to make accurately informed decisions.

Happy to share sfw pics. If I'm not attractive to you that's fine, please just say there's no spark and we can leave it there no drama. I would appreciate the same response vice versa.

If you're interested please respond with

What you're looking for and the answers to the below:

Ethnicity/nationality -

Age - (my age limit is 28-50)

Height -

Body type -

Hair and eyes -

Status -

Thanks for reading and hope to hear from you soon x

*Please respond with a bit about you and why you fit what I'm looking for. Low effort messages like "heyyy" will be ignored. Lets not waste each others time*

Guilty to having a type that turns me on- Looking for a very fit/athletic man (think Magic Mike) to please me and make me cum more than once. Great abs, shaved, smooth or minimal body hair turn me on. Tease me with a sensual massage, kissing me everywhere as you feel my body react, we slowly undress each other and you can't help but make your way over to my wet pussy. Looking for a man who can be submissive and versatile with a women instructing and getting what she wants- there's something so hot about that.

A bit about me: 33/F, 5'2", Asian- but more of an alternative punk rocker than a ABG, fit, 112lbs, shaved, tattoos and piercings. just looking for that hottie with a body for me to worship and watch you eat my pussy out good with that talented tongue.

Can't host right now but can travel to you in the LA or Orange County area. Weekdays/nights work better for me. Sorry, but I am that asian who isn't into asians. Please be between the ages of 23-43.

I'm being picky, but hey, we're essentially online strangers from a forum, meeting online. So I'm going to be picky!

Can't wait to meet you 😉