Missing Her
I am a 46M that had an amazing family and life. I messed it up not important how, but definitely my fault. After ruining my marriage I was diagnosed with a Schwannoma Tumor in my neck at my c1-c2, simultaneously being diagnosed with a herniated disc in October 2021. I had surgery in January 2022 to resect the tumor and fix the herniated disc. They were able to fuse my spine, but were unable to fully remove the tumor. So I have about half of it still there. This has caused a lot of complications, because about a year and half ago I was diagnosed with Myelomalacia or softening of the spine. The prognosis was given that so much was done that I will continue to decline and it is a high likelihood I will be paralyzed in the next 5 years. Today my former wife called to tell me that my disability is going through and I will be considered 💯 disabled. I have mixed feelings because I have no one to celebrate this hurdle with and it means now my situation is validated. The validation scares me because I now have to recognize what is going on. I wanted to celebrate this moment with her, but I know it is not possible. I wish I could and would have been a better husband.