r/femboys_r_us_SFW

I (18m) need help. I’m a bisexual femboy living with my extremely conservative family. Because of this I struggle with my sexuality internally and I also struggle with expressing it. I want to shave my legs, wear cute outfits, and wear make up, but I fucking can’t. It hurts. Because of my internalized homophobia (due to my conservative parents basically conditioning me to be homophobic as a child) I’ve always hated myself for being gay… I’ve been severely depressed since I was 11 and I can’t seem to crawl out of the hole I’m stuck in. Help… I want to be able to be pretty and be gay without being hated by others and myself. What can I do to help with my negative feelings? If I get a boyfriend do I hide him from my family? Do I just fuck it and come out? I don’t know what to do…