u/111divine

it's my 4 year anniversary of working as a dancer and I have to say that the pendulum has done such a crazy swing.

First year I was deep in my healing, I left a powerfully psychologically abusive narcissist who I was deeply in love with; he nearly killed my spirit and it completely shattered me, I decided dancing was going to be my pathway to reconcile with everything that I hadn't met within me, and I was going to use it for good and to use the financial freedom to have the space to learn and heal. I was in a state of relative isolation during the first year hustling a lot, investing insanely like I had something to prove; but I manifested my dream apartment and hit my 6 figure investment goal.

Year 2: I went back to school to become a counsellor, travelled all around the world, got to the root my intense pain, so many of my shadows revealed themselves in the club and perfected my hustle averaging 1200/night and then something I *really* didn't anticipate happened- I didn't even care about the performance of it all anymore, I became detatched from the outcome and was like it actually doesn't matter how much I make, it will literally never be enough to feel loved and enough. So I stopped wearing a mask and actually started to drop any shame without trying to prove anything to anyone anymore (or even to myself)

Year 3: I started to care more about connecting to myself in every moment, and letting that energy lead, I made soul mate friends, I had a spiritual awakening in the desert of Las Vegas where I realized all the women that I work with are goddesses; and that we are here to wake people up; and that I had been SLEEPING on my gifts and selling myself short, I sold a lot of my things and started a business with everything I've learned about the shadows, how to walk into a room with confidence knowing that the universe/god and spirit are literally way closer than we can imagine and can tap into that force at anytime I help guide other women out of the illusions of living with deep shame, and energy leaking and wounding and into a life of genuine peace, freedom, connection and joy that aren't sourced from anything that isn't already within.

Anyway I wanted to just have a little brag moment; I love you women and I hope that you leave this industry better, more resilient, kinder and more hopeful than you found it.

So this obviously might be a little out there, but I feel like this community would get it more than most...

I've been going really deep lately into feminine mystery traditions and doing past life work, and I keep circling back to two archetypes in particular: the courtesan/priestess. I know historically these weren't shameful roles, just ones that were very DISTORTED by patriarchy; they were considered conduits of the divine feminine, holding serious spiritual power to connect and anchor in codes for the earth.

And honestly, the more I sit with it, the more I think that being a dancer carries echoes of that- navigating the dark and transmuting it into consciousness.

But the shadow side I keep bumping into — and I wonder if anyone else feels this: so much of what drove me into this space and what keeps us stuck in cycles, is this deep wound around not being chosen; and like no matter how amazing you are, either a partner, a parent or someone you TRULY desire just can't choose you; and it's so fkn painful.

I've started to see the strip club as one of the last spaces where men can genuinely make contact with the goddess energy; outside of being literally in nature and I sometimes think to myself about the goddesses that work in the club and how it's somewhat of a privilege to do this work at times!

I just know even as part of my own journey that something really called me to be a SW, and it's brought up so much to be danced with (psychologically and literally) something being held in these spaces, whether people consciously recognize it or not.

I'd genuinely love to know:

Do any of you feel connected to the priestess archetype?
Has this work ever felt spiritually significant to you?
Anyone else doing past life work or exploring the feminine mysteries?

Just feel like if there's anywhere to have this conversation, it's here!

left an abusive ex, got sober, invested aggressively, healed my intergenerational trauma, bought gold, made lifelong friends and might go start a movement

Do any of you identify with the Priestess archetype? Curious about others' experiences!