u/632nofuture

I know, ridiculous and pathetic, but for me it's eg.

1. Shin against edge of glass desk, shin bone feels & looks kinda wavy now, lol

2. Same with my forehead, it has visible bumps now after I somehow kept falling asleep right on the same spots for a year or so. Don't think it's ever go back to normal.. this is actually the worst thing of them all and I'm really ashamed of it.

3. Burnt my leg once on my electric heater, didn't wake up from the heat so now where's a bigass scar lol

So yea my theory is also that bones can change/grow some deformity or get ridges from (repeated) pressure.

just ranting.. 2 more days till I get my things again. why do i keep doing this to myself, if only I used a bit less there'd be no empty days like this. Fucking sucks.

Against wd's I take mainly methadone, (for which I'm eternally grateful though that it actually kills all wd/s, holy fuck,-I never had faith in that whatsoever! Cause didn't have such a good experience some years ago.) And also pregabaline against the general weakess and depressed mood. (If you don't have methadone, imo pregabaline words superbly against wd's by itself already, for a non-opioid anyway.)

Anyhow I feel so restless, I just wanna kill the time, can't do anything useful though cause I'm just on edge. Ad also like I gotta fuck, which is weird cause I'm ace and I hate that, but it's like a physical itch lol. What the flipping fuck. I just want my muscles to calm the fuck down (took a valium already.. hope it helps) and my mind to drift away plz for 2 days. Plz plz..

And some seroquel to sleep.

Damn.. listing all that,.. one medication for every little thing. But right now I dont give a shit just get me to wednesday plz plz plz.

Or kill me and deliver me from this bullshit life, I dont even really wanna be here. No motivation to quit, no motivation to life, nothing. I only cost the society money anyway, I don't get why it's such a taboo, and why nobody wants to help people have a pleasant & accessible suicide. Oh well.. other topic.