Advise on creating space for a sub to tell you what she wants early on!
I’m looking for some advice, because I feel like I’m overthinking something that probably just requires better communication.
I’m in a committed poly relationship, and recently met a woman who is in a committed open marriage. We’ve only met once so far, but the connection was intense, fun, and very natural. She’s a bratty sub, which I really enjoy!
One thing that makes this situation a little different for me is that she and her partner create porn together. I have absolutely no issue with that. But I’ve caught myself worrying about how I come across. I don’t want her to feel like I’m approaching her through the lens of her work.
I’m interested in her, and in whatever dynamic develops naturally between us. I don’t want her to feel fetishized because of what she does professionally. she’s not expressed feeling this way.. it’s in my head at this point.
The bigger issue is that I’m finding myself strangely hesitant to ask her what she likes, what she wants, what kind of attention she responds to, what she needs from a Dom, etc.
We’ve been lightly texting/ flirting since we met, but I feel like I’m struggling to open that door through texting. I guess I’m feeling a bit vulnerable about “being too much”
My question is:
How do other Pleasure Doms create that space early on?
Do you proactively ask questions about what she likes and wants? If so, what kinds of questions have actually led to meaningful conversations rather than feeling like an interview?