BIL unintentionally domming?
This will be slightly long but will try to keep it short
I’m a single mom. My ex ran away 2 years ago. His older brother is a single dad. We are friends and after my ex left we get together pretty regularly to take the kids to amusement parks and events.
He’s unintentionally domming and I don’t know if should tell him what it’s doing to me or just step away. I think he’s sweet and very vanilla so I don’t think it’s on purpose.
Some time ago, I complained to him that I was doom scrolling a lot on my tablet and could he just hold on to it so I could quit. It was great. I had to ask for it back because I needed it for something and have gone back to doom scrolling a ton. He noticed this. I was sitting on the sofa and he was doing something in the kitchen. I look up and he’s leaning against the kitchen wall with his arms crossed and a raised eyebrow “do you need to give me that tablet back? Remember how good you’d been by quitting?”. I’m an immediate subby puddle.
I get motion sickness on certain rides, I kept fidgeting in line and staring at the ride. He put both his hands on my shoulder, made me look up at him and said, “Stop. You’ll be sick”. I was just floaty afterwards and couldn’t make eye contact with him again. After the ride, the kids wanted to run off to another ride he told them, “Wait. We will get auntie/mom a drink first. She feels nauseous.” Again, I hadn’t said a thing but it was just the care.
There are other instances but these paint the pic a bit. Am I just kink deprived or his behavior is very dom like? Should I ask him to stop, step away or just roll with it (and be a subby mess internally?)
Edit: I don’t think I want to have a bdsm relationship (or even a vanilla one) with him. I don’t think I have the capacity for it. I’m also not otherwise attracted to him (I think). It’s more that saying: “don’t take care of me. It turns me on.” Is cringey af 🥲