u/Academic-Agency3091

My current boyfriend and I have been offficially together for 6 months, but we’ve talked on and off for about a year now. The first time we met he was on a relapse and we were drinking, but I didn’t know the extent of his addiction and honestly was pretty ignorant towards the whole thing. I’d always experimented with different drugs and was drinking every day for a couple years until I noticed I had an issue and I cut back drastically. When we met and got drunk, I didn’t think much of it because in my mind we were just drinking, not like he was doing meth again … We connected again and he was sober, we had the best time at concerts and outings and I respected him needing to hang around sober people, so I stopped drinking and doing coke. Not even just around him, but in general. We lost touch and I started drinking and doing coke more and more because I was also going thru a hard time in my life… We’ve now been together since December and he convinced me to find coke for us first day we linked up even after hours of me telling him it’s not worth it to throw his sobriety days away, but of course we got coke and it has been escalating ever since then. By the end of December he was back on meth, and I had told him that was my deal breaker, (not knowing that’s not exactly how it works lol) and once I found out and confronted him, we talked about it and of course I didn’t leave. He told me how he goes on his binges 2-3 times a year and it’s always been like that no matter how much NA or rehab he’s attended. Well, in February I finally gave in and he passed me the pipe and I smoked it for the first time ever. It was nothing crazy to me tbh and I did it on and off and could easily decline it… Now It’s may and we had about a month of being sober between december and now but Ive smoked pretty much every day for the last month and even let him shoot me up. I’m terrified. I love him. Sober and not sober we’ve had the best times and he is the one person that relates to me and makes me feel less alone, but I know that I’m making his life worse and he is bringing me down as well .. we’re both no good for each other when we’re using, but when we’re sober together we are amazing- gym, healthy eating, being social, enjoying each others time.. I don’t know what to do because I can manage to not do meth if it’s not around me, I’m not to the point where I’m actively seeking it .. but when he has it, I don’t say no anymore. We both want to get sober, but I don’t know if that’s a possibility for him and I if we’re together but if we’re apart I know that sadness may drive both of us to using.

anyone have any similar stories or advice? I know It’s as easy as just leaving and doing what I need for myself, but I truly truly love him. I love him more when we’re sober, of course, but I don’t want to abandon him either because he is using and now I am…

SSBBW/BBW 👀 4 BULL