Honest Pineapples review.
MF- We had high hopes for pineapples but I have to say we were really disappointed.
The security guard at the front door was really nice and made us feel comfortable but that’s sort of where it ended. We arrived early to venture upstairs and were able to have a good look around, I had heard such amazing things about this new venue but what we found was anything but….
The vibe upstairs was just weird. It sort of felt like a mix between a hospital and a psych facility with its mix of curtain dividers and padded white couches which were all scuffed, marked and dirty and made the place feel old and unclean. The private rooms felt like white dorm rooms and the lighting was bright. The white sheets were dirty which was off putting as no one had played yet and the grey couches in the small room had a very large dark mark on the cushion. These things all stand out to me as it’s just not what we expected. We went to the bathroom and the toilet had clumps of grey dust all over the seat and toilet paper from the dirt collected in the overhead fan. The shower, whilst nice and large had a “sorry no hot water” sign stuck to the glass. The bondage room was ok, but definitely not the best we’ve seen. It was also a little cold. This may seem picky or harsh but we were really taken back as they market it as the new premier lifestyle lounge.
We stayed on and went back down to the main room and were surprised at how small the mingle area was, but liked the amount of seating. It did feel cozy. The music was good and got a few people dancing for a short while, but it was so loud we couldn’t hear anybody trying to talk to us. We really value connections first but it’s hard to create that when you can barely hear. There were about 4 single men there with blue wrist bands which I’ve never come across at other places. It kind of felt weird like they were marked to stand out and no one was approaching them or mingling with the exception of one man who was quite charismatic. At other venues the single men sort of just blend in and it’s not til we’re chatting that we ask if they’re with someone and it all feels a lot more organic and free flowing.
Later in the night we decided to dress down and go upstairs to check the vibe as most people had made their way up and the first thing we see is one of the single men playing with himself on the couch on the landing. We were told they couldn’t go up without an invitation but there he was waiting awkwardly and trying to make eye contact with us as he pulled himself. I didn’t mind, after all, it is a swingers party, but the security guard specifically said it wasn’t allowed so we were a little confused as to why no one was policing it.
The crowd was nice and friendly but we’ve also encountered that at lots of other places so we left disappointed and genuinely confused as to why people talk it up. Are we missing something?