u/Accurate-Trick4132

Hey, a few days ago I asked in this subreddit what the best thing is against come up anxiety is and I was recommended boofing.

Unfortunately I didn't find any trip reports about it, only a very detailed description of how to do the whole thing. But of course generally for every substance and not exactly for mdma.

Now my question:

How does the come-up feel when boofing and what is the difference to oral intake?

Does the effect overwhelm you directly and can you deal with it?

Is the come up anxiety stronger but shorter?

How does the body feel at this moment?

And how long does it take to feel the euphoria?

And if someone is here with strong come up anxiety and has tried boofing and it has helped him -

Please tell me what your experience was like and what exactly helped you. I am happy about every trip report.

Everyone only talks about how amazing MDMA is, but nobody talks about the dark sides of it.

I’ve been taking MDMA since 2023. When I first discovered the substance, I was still pretty young and inexperienced. I used it every other weekend. After a longer break (because I was taking antidepressants), I tried MDMA again, but I didn’t stop taking my antidepressants long enough beforehand. I ended up taking a total of 3 MDMA pills plus weed, and because of that I had to go to the hospital because I suddenly experienced extreme fear of death and thought my heart was stopping. The feeling of cardiac arrest was so realistic that I was 100% convinced it was actually happening.

After that, I took a one-year break from the substance. But every time I tried to use MDMA again afterward (this time following the 3-month rule, using a safe space, and following all the harm reduction rules and proper ways to handle the substance - because I definitely learned from my mistakes), I started getting extreme come-up anxiety. The first three times it was still manageable and the euphoria was amazing.

But the last two times were so intense that I broke down crying, had trouble breathing properly, and felt such overwhelming fear that in the end I became afraid of the fear itself. I constantly needed reassurance, and I didn’t even reach the euphoric high because the anxiety was so strong. Imagine being so terrified that even MDMA can’t make you feel high anymore. How crazy is that?! And by now, even the thought of taking it again sends me into such a panic state that I can’t calm down for days afterward.

Despite therapy, lots of meditation, breathing exercises, and many other things, it’s not getting any better.

It’s a vicious cycle. I love MDMA more than anything. I love the euphoric high, and nowadays I follow safe-use rules better than almost anyone. And yet I feel like I completely ruined MDMA for myself. Recently I wanted to use again after another long break, but I noticed how panicked my body became from the thought alone.

I’m so conflicted. I don’t want to give up this substance. But I can tell that my body now associates it with trauma and is basically rejecting it completely.

I can’t really talk to anyone about this, and I understand that it’s my own fault.

I’m only turning to the internet in hopes of finding people who maybe found a solution to this problem or went through the same thing.

And yes, I’ve already tried extremely low doses. I wait two hours before redosing. I drink ginger tea for the stomach pain during come-up anxiety, I take magnesium, I do breathing exercises, and much more. But nothing helps against this extreme panic. And the fact that I don’t even get high anymore despite going through hell during the come-up has honestly broken me...

Should I take an even longer break? Should I forget MDMA forever?

What do you guys think?