u/Adept-Investment2842

F4F ou M

Locuteur francophone, âgé entre 27-30 ans.
Respecte le consentement et est conscient des lois environnantes.
A du cœur sur la main…

Certaines conditions en inbox.

Si tu es intéressée, écris-moi mais je suis très exigeante.
F24, étudiante et de couleur svp. Je ne parle que le français et je préfère discuter avec des locuteurs francophones.

Hello everyone,

I am a 22-year-old young woman, freshly arrived in a new city. I feel a little lonely and I'm looking to build a reliable environment. Recently, I befriended a 21-year-old girl whom I find extraordinary: she is inspiring, mature, and she is a very rewarding company for me. I care a lot about her and I don't want to lose her. Only, the situation has become extremely complicated because of a common "flirt" story.

Here are the facts:

Last April: She met a man who was looking for a serious relationship. At the time, I discouraged her by criticizing the boy, but the next minute, I asked her for her Snapchat to flirt and socialize with him. My friend refused it at the time, but she started to blame me.

My friend's current situation: She is still madly in love with her ex (a 36-year-old man), who intends to come back to propose to her. In the meantime, she continues to regularly frequent the first boy. Unconsciously, she keeps him on a "waiting bench" to take advantage of his kindness and services.

The breaking point: The day before yesterday, this man was at home and I was there too. After receiving several insistent refusals from him, the man turned to me. Knowing that we have a lot of common acquaintances and finding that I am "more open" and easy to access, he wanted to try a relationship with me.

What happened next: My friend had forbidden me to give her my Snapchat. But this man found me on Instagram, relaunched me twice, and I ended up accepting. He called me several times in his presence to court me, which made her crazy with rage.

Today, my friend discovered the situation and believes that I severely lack "codes of honor" in friendship. She clearly told me that we would no longer be friends, and that if her ex came back as planned, I would not see him until their wedding (or not until September). She makes me feel invasive, undesirable and disloyal.

My dilemma:

I feel trapped. This man is part of my entourage and the current no longer really flows between us, but he promised me to piston/refer me for a job (I am currently unemployed and in full search). On the other hand, I refuse to lose my friend, who is one of the few reliable people I thought I could count on here.

I feel terribly alone and lost. Where is my fault in this story? How should I react to try to save the situation without losing everything?

Thank you for your advice and kindness.

TL;DR: 22-year-old newcomer, I accepted the advances of a man who was courting my friend (21F), after she rejected him several times. She keeps him on a "waiting bench" hoping for the return of her ex (36M). This man offers me a piston for a job while I am unemployed, but my friend accuses me of breaking the codes of friendship and cutting ties. How to fix?