my boyfriend can't continue until after 15-20 minutes, i don't know if that's normal

I’ve been getting used to going out by myself for the past few weeks. I actually like it. Is there anyone else who prefers to go out by themselves?

I'm sure that at some point we've all let opportunities past, and probably mostly while developing flirting skills and seductive traits have let our guards down therefore months (even years) pass and you find yourself suddenly saying "f#ck, I must have seemed like an idiot" when seeing those missed signs clearly after all.

So just wanting to know a bit on the indicatives you find more significant for a girl having real interest sexually/romantically in you and your experiences around these situations.

Went on a date with a girl last night. Everything went well. Lots of good conversation, flirting, talks of future dates, physical escalation and ended up making out when I walked her back to her car. She offered to drive me home, then when we got back to mine I asked if she wanted to come in. She declined and said she had work on the morning and how she needs her 8 hours. I got out of the car, told her goodnight and she drove away. I have this sneaking suspicion she wanted me to try harder to get her to come inside. Did I play it wrong, or am I just overthinking?

So, I've been going out alone to the bars, as someone who doesn't even drink alcohol, for about 6 months now. It was pretty hard at first, but I've gotten somewhat comfortable.

Someone on here around the time that I started gave two pieces of advice that really helped me. 1. Sit at the bar, not at a table. 2. Get to know your bartenders by becoming a regular.

I've made friends with one and I'm working on some others. This paid off extremely well today and it's going to pay off even more in the future. So I actually took a girl to this bar for kind of a casual dinner date (I needed to eat, but we really went there to play chess). Thing is, she wanted an alcohol free gin and tonic. I asked my dude and this guy loves me so much he asked the female bartender to go to the alcohol store and actually get the necessary stuff. I was like no no man it's cool, but he insisted and sent her. Turns out the store was closed and she would have had to go across town but we were like no please don't send her it's really cool but thank you so much.

Then he came out and hung out with us for a little bit, just talking about some opinions we all have in common and stuff like that. Turns out we really like each other.

Thing is though, do you have any idea how much this impresses the girl? Like think about it theoretically: you actually have social status in the place you're at, and also it makes her feel so safe that you're a cool guy... plus it's just downright fun.

Anyway, right now that girl is texting me that she wished our date wasn't over as I write this.

My advice applies to daytime as well. Get to know your baristas in cafes! I've been doing this too. Also, your bus drivers, security guards, etc. Create your own social status by just being a cool guy. Trust me on this, you won't regret it.

He's gonna introduce me to some other people as well, like I'm literally building a social network this way, exactly as I had planned. I'm so shocked that it's actually working.

Hey guys, back with an unfortunate but necessary realization: I haven't had a real conversation since at least high school... I turn 30 next month.

Reflecting on this made me realize (much like everything else) my parents dropped the ball Badly.

Dad taught me that asking people about themselves any deeper than surface level was being nosy and physically aggressed me as a child for doing so. I was also threatened/assaulted for teasing him (which I learned is a common way for men to bond) so even if I knew HOW to tease, I still won't do it for fear someone will try to fight me.

Mom taught me as a man it's my job to maintain and validate her feelings without any support back and failure to do so meant any love or affection I *might* have received was to be withheld until the desired enmeshment occured.

Both took up all the speaking room while never engaging with me, leaving me believing that if someone wants you to know something about themselves; they'll tell you.

Obviously all this comes together in a perfect storm of avoidance, shame and fear that has left me alone and isolated and I want it to stop.

I know this sounds pathetic but would anyone be willing to video chat w me and show me what an actual conversation sounds like? I downplay any attention I get because it feels wrong.

You don't invite someone to a party because you think they are wanting to be invited out, you invite them because you want to invite them and either they accept or decline, same goes for cold approaching. You approach because you want to, not because you think they are waiting for it.

The reason you do cold approach is not because it's normalized in your area or because somehow have the superpower of reading minds, you cold approach because you want to be the type of man who does what he wants, including approaching a woman that he likes, even if the rest of society finds it weird.

See i believe most men problems and frustrations come because they never actually do what they want to do, they always do either what society tells them they should do, or what a particular woman tells them they should do. But what about what he naturally wants to do when no one tells him simply because his heart calls for it?

They never do that out of fear of being ostracized and negative reactions, and this creates weak men who are always reactive instead of proactive.

I realized that it's irrelevant if something is weird or not, because it's not your duty to be normal, or avoid being weird. What's relevant is doing what you want simply because you give yourself the authority to do whatever you want to.

It's about empowerment and authenticity, it's about being the type of man who follows his own rules, not other people's rules. A guy who wants to have the integrity to honors his desires and does not let society, men or women, tell him what he has to do.

A guy who does not conform to arbitrary social norms that are not his obligations to follow. A guy who has the full conviction that what he does is valid, not because others approve it, but because he approves it unilaterally simply because he says so and that's good enough.

Even if the girl herself questions why you do would do it, you don't go defensive, you don't apologize for doing what you want, you don't justify yourself, you don't stop doing it, you simply double down because that's what a man who knows what he wants and respects himself does.

Because you don't need her permission as no one has granted her the divine authority to dictate to you what you can or cannot do. She can only refuse what you offer, not tell you what to do.

So it's about being a man who leads his own life on his own terms, not a dude who always does what others expect from him or who lets society or a woman dictate to him what he has to do.

You might then recognize that it's not even about whether a woman likes you if you approach her, or ask her out or invite her to your place, it's about what type of man you want to be. The one who has the independence and willingness to go against the norm and do what he wants, or the guy who hates himself because he is always doing what everybody else wants at the expense of what his own heart wants to do in the moment.

That's why you do this, because the proactive mindset of acting because you want to rather than because someone told you, later translates to other areas of dating such us who is leading his own life in a relationship vs who is letting her lead his own life for him with the added consequence of her losing respect for him for his lack of independence.

If she rejects you, that's fine, that's her job. Respect her decision gracefully and move on. But it's not your job to reject yourself before she does.

Does it make any difference if I go out to Bars/Pubs alone to approach women versus with friends?

Most of the time I don't have anyone to join me. My friends don't like going to the bar

hello everyone, i was reading about a technique called "The Cube" so i just wanted to ask if someone know it and used it already, if that the case, this game/technique actually works? this thing helped someone to flirt?

I see some men are super successful in getting women to sleep with them. Is it all based on how conventionally attractive you are? Or making the woman feel you're "high value" idk

Or is it how you approach certain situations in a way that leads to this.

I have felt stupid after almost all my dates as I stood there talking and laughing as the woman tells me that I have friendly vibes. Tired of wasting my time this way so need advice from the players?

Did my first cold approach for a number earlier this week and have a date set up for tomorrow. Now I'm running into logistics issues.

The plan was to meet at the park and then head to a nice spot with a patio. I told her to bring her dog since she just got him and she seemed really excited by it.

The forecast is rain all day, so now I'm not really sure if it's better to bring it up and postpone the date myself (Sunday looks better), even though I feel like it seems flakey and you shouldn't really postpone dates as a guy. At the same time, I don't really see how I can plan around the rain + the dog, since we'd have to be outside if the dog is there.

How would yall handle this?

How long should you talk to them after the approach before asking them out? I’ve been trying to practice approaches at bars but need to know when to ask for a social media or ask them out.

If we boil it down, flirting is just a communication style based on emotions.

If you think about most communication that you do day to day, whether it's work or even with your friends, it's based on logic. In your work you might discuss a project or with your friends you're discussing something that happened in your lives. But it's all based on tangible things.

Now the problem becomes when guys use the same communication style that they use in day-to-day life and apply it to talking to women.

Let's say a girl's wearing all black and you go up and say:

"Wow, I really like your black dress. You're really beautiful."

A lot of guys would say that's flirting, but actually it's not really effective flirting because it's based on logic. She's wearing a black dress and you're literally just saying she looks beautiful.

How would you make the same example actually flirty? By turning it into something illogical and emotional, something like:

"I see you have this black outfit. You look like you're going to go and fire five interns today."

Obviously she's wont actually go and fire five interns today and you just made that up- and that's the whole point.

Now you might ask, okay, but why flirting actually work? Why does it turn women on?

First let's take a look at what you need to turn a girl on

There are 3 things a woman needs to be turned on

Number one, she needs to be present, because if she's not present and she's thinking about work stuff or her problems, she won't be in the headspace to turned on.

Number two, if you're gonna be the guy that turns her on, she needs to believe that you're a guy of high caliber.

(now, that doesn't mean rich or extremely good looking. It means you're a guy who displays high caliber behaviors)

And number three, there needs to be a healthy level of positive tension, which we're going to cover in just a second.

So now let's connect how flirting achieves these 3 outcomes

So with making the girl present..

A lot of us, both men and women, live day-to-day just constantly thinking about work and problems and random stuff going on in life.

So what actually brings us back into the present moment and back into our bodies instead of our heads? Usually emotional experiences.

For example, watching a really good movie. When you're watching a great movie, you completely forget your day-to-day problems for two hours and instead you focus on the plot, the story twists, and all the emotions it generates.

Even though the movie is fake, you don't care. It still made you feel something.

Flirting works in the same way. If you're a guy who knows how to flirt and create a nice environment and conversation, she'll forget about her day-to-day problems for a moment.

This has happened to me many times where I approach a girl on the street and before she's thinking about work, problems, rushing somewhere, and then I approach her, I'm present, I make her laugh, and 10 minutes later she's forgotten all about that stuff. Now we have this little bubble between me and her where there's this magical connection and magical conversation.

Number two, flirting displays that you're actually a high caliber man.

One of the biggest high caliber behaviors that a guy can have is really great social skills. And flirting is a difficult communication style because it requires thinking on your feet and saying bold stuff and if you can do that, you show that you're a guy with high-level social skills - hence you're a high caliber guy.

That's why being really good at flirting will turns women on a lot more than owning a red Ferrari.

And finally, flirting creates a healthy level of positive tension.

Think about all the popular romantic movies like Fifty Shades of Grey.

There's a guy and a girl, and the girl basically lets go of control of the situation and she doesn't know what's going to come next (i.e. unpredictability)

That's why many guys struggle to turn women on because they're the opposite - predictable and boring.

Flirting by nature is unpredictable because you're saying things that are out of the norm and not the "you're so beautiful" that has been regurgitated to them 100x times.

And if you can learn this skill of flirting, you'll be one of the few guys who can actually turn women on just by talking which is incredible.

I’m a c6 quad and I’m wonderin if a woman could be interested in dating me and what advice would you give me if I were to try and date someone 42 male wheelchair user full time

I will be going on a vacation to NYC. What’s the dating landscape like and what advice would you give me on how to meet beautiful women in NYC?

What tips do you have?

This is the year for change. We will only experience this life once & I truly believe everyone has a chance to get a piece of this lifestyle, but you must position yourself & go for it.

obviously for long term relationships what your occupation and status as a man matters alot but for casual flings does it really matter?

Seriously, this is the lamest shit ever. Fucking stop it.

Almost every day there‘s some poor schmuck on here that relates a story about approaching a girl with a compliment and 99% of the time it doesn’t work.

When you do this shit, it’s like folding after you ante up in a poker game. You’re giving away your reason for talking to her. Yes, congratulations you ante’d up and played the game for a few seconds, it’s the right first move.

But man, ya’ll really gotta look up some basic openers that don’t hinge on feeding her a compliment.

If you’re determined to comment an observation about her looks, at least do it in a way that creates a little intrigue (tell her she looks like a heartbreaker, tell her that she looks like she’s gonna get you in trouble, etc).

If those are still too courageous for you, then comment on her clothes. Fucking something that provides a pathway towards a conversation.

Because realistically, what is a girl supposed to do with a compliment? How does a conversation happen after you’ve given away your purpose for approaching her? On some level, she already thinks you find her attractive since you’ve taken the risk to go talk to a stranger.

Women should earn compliments from you, that’s the frame you should be holding. Don’t pump up their ego while sacrificing your own.

Because at the end of the day, who do you wanna be? That sweet guy who gave her a compliment? Or the guy plowing her guts out?

-vibejuice out

Whats your experience or tactics with shy and insecure woman?

I already got some dates with a beautiful girl and there is attraction and chemistry. But she clearly got some issues with her self confidence and acceptance. We already had sex but we were both drunk. Im having a hard time initiating intimacy with her in a romantic and sober setting. She seems reserved and making moves feels somehow awkward. Its like she wants to make it happen but her head blocks it. She loves to chat though.

Im giving her time to build up trust by being consistent but it would be bad for my health if we only end up hooking up after partys :D

Is there a ranking of US cities that are more open minded to large age gap relationships vs ones that are extremely judgmental about the idea of age gap relationships?

I am currently 40 years old and live in Seattle. I prefer to date younger women in their 20's, however a common theme I get here is the women in their 20's say they are not comfortable dating someone my age or older. It gets very annoying that a giant pool of available single women in their 20's are rejecting me for this reason. I am starting to get fed up with the culture here (I've heard of places in the world that don't make a big deal about age gap relationships, yet here its treated like some kind of crime for a 50 year old man to be dating someone in their 20's). It's also annoying because there seems to be this double standard, I see these annoying older guys like Kash P, director of the fbi (I can't stand that guy) and hes dating some hot young singer "alexis" who looks way young, yet the media doesn't make a big deal about him.

Is there a ranking of such cities where the majority of people living there are open to the idea of age gap relationships vs ones that are not?

I have heard two different conflicting ideas on this:

1. on one hand I have heard that blue progressive cities tend to be against age gap relationships because the educated people in those cities view age gap relationships as harmful power dynamic BS. However, I have heard the same thing about conservative religious states don't view age gap relationships highly either, so not sure what is true regarding politics.

2. Something else that is contradictory is that blue cities tend to support LGBTQ rights, you would think that those cities would also be open minded to the idea of age gap relationships too right? or not?

I am not sure how to conclude the real truth. I am thinking about moving out of Seattle to a better place. I am not certain what other US City I should move too or possibly Canadian city. I want to move to a place where I can not be judged and a woman who is in her 20's will like me for me and not care about some BS reputation (apparently young women are afraid they will be judged by their friends if they are with an older guy..., at least in seattle). It is so annoying that women put their social media reputation and friends first at the cost of destroying a relationship with someone who might love them and want to start a family. I am fed up with Seattle. help me.