u/airplane122

I am having a difficult time deciding on whether to go to New York City or Los Angeles to have an easier time finding women to date (and actually be successful without wasting time)

I currently live in Seattle (list of worst cities in the USA for dating as a single man due to higher ratio of males to females). San Francisco I heard is just as bad if not potentially worse. It's the male tech field that is dominating both these metros. In my experience most of the women are taken, and when they are single they have too many options that just makes it a big headache here.

I've heard people joke that NYC is like a playground for the single guy, because there is more women then men there, and it will be much easier than Seattle. Is this true? I am not certain if the playground joke is more of a reference to the early 2000's or not.

I also was thinking about Los Angeles, 2nd largest city in the USA, warm weather year around , plenty of beautiful Latinas (Latinas are my favorite), there is a temptation to go there. The only potential downside to LA is I heard that its a little more competitive than NYC, where the ratio is more even between male/females, however at least its not as bad as Seattle though.

I heard NYC has a large Latina population as well, so maybe that works too.

The advantage of NYC I heard is that its huge, large female to male ratio (more females then men), and very densely populated, ability to approach a huge amount constantly. I also have to factor in weather the women today are still approachable though because again in the early 2000's I heard women were very approachable in NYC, today not so sure.

Worst case scenario should I just give up on the USA altogether and think international? I am not sure if NYC is the best place to game in 2026 or not like it was in the early 2000's, same with Los Angeles.

Help me decide.

I've been in this game long enough in the past to fall for this many times and had to learn it the hard way. I am telling you all this to learn from my mistakes and learn the reality of what's going on today in those mean streets.

In the past (stupid old me), when I asked for a woman's number many times, and she offered her instagram instead of her number, the naive stupid me (gave her the benefit of the doubt) of typing in her Instagram and adding her. I would say that 100 percent of the times when I did this the woman either (never responded, blocked me, or made up some lame new excuse that she has a boyfriend and her boyfriend is blowing me up in my inbox).

Don't fall for this trap. It's easy to figure out. If the girl is not willing to give you her number she is not interested. She is just using the "Instagram" route as a soft way to try and reject you without rejecting you in your face.

so what do I do instead now? you may be wondering...

This is what I do now: When I ask a woman her number, if she says the stupid Instagram recommendation, I simply say "I don't use instagram". This is a test. If she doesn't offer to give you her number, then I just say bye. I was in the gym yesterday and did this. I asked her number and she said instagram instead, I responded that I don't have an instagram and she just walked off and didn't' care. I just saved my self time not dealing with BS. Why waste your time taking an instagram name she is most likely just gonna block you anyway.

Besides, its stupid to play that instagram social game dynamics, where women just wanna measure you based on some stupid social status. I don't even use instagram much anyways and by messaging on instagram you even make yourself look like a loser if you have no followers. Screw the stupid Instagram game. Instagram game is a losing game for all men. Only the top women have the highest followers on instagram.

Anyone here who is active duty military or former military know if pickup is good on military bases?

One of the risks is not sure if military bases are stricter when it comes to conduct like this or potentially more relaxed? Just typical friendly approaches.

Another con is that most military bases are majority of men anyways and I figure most of the women soldiers are probably taken?