u/Alicee02-

I have a boyfriend, but i currently have a small crisis when it comes to my sexuality. I don’t have queer friends, and my boyfriend is truly my only support. I posted about it here 2 days ago so i won’t get deeper into it. The point is, i started talking to people on reddit, post in multiple lgbt subreddits and honestly? I never felt such a sense of belonging like i do now. But there is this small voice inside my head that just makes me feel like I’m doing something bad.

I personally think it’s not wrong, especially that i’m not flirting with anyone and just basically sharing experiences and some advice. But i started feeling extra guilty about it. I stay practically anonymous and i’m just trying to find people who understand, i want to see and feel that i’m not the only one, especially with how lonely i felt in this hard moment.

I was thinking to connect with the community even more, maybe some discord servers or even going to some lgbt events around my area. But i honestly would rather to just…go alone, be in this alone, figure myself out on my own. Yet i can’t shake this feeling of betraying him, like I’m doing something wrong, like he will be mad when he finds out.

It’s been a really hard time for me, and i finally feel like i have a community, like i have people who understand me and i don’t remember the last time
I felt so light and relieved. But i can’t enjoy it fully without feeling like the worst human being ://

Sorry for bad English🙏 I just need some advice and support for someone who might understand. I’m bi but i have a boyfriend, we been together for 2 years (almost) and i love him very much. But lately i just can’t seem to stop thinking about my attraction to women, i think about it daily and i’m not talking about some sexual fantasy but I’m thinking about a deep emotional connection. I feel awful, like I’m mentally cheating and it’s taking a toll on my mental health. I talked about it with my boyfriend and he is supportive, he even supports a possibility of me trying with a woman. But i feel don’t feel much better. It’s still in a back of my mind and i feel like no one really understands what I’m going through :// i don’t know if any of this makes sense, i never thought i will write for support on reddit. Is this normal? What can i do to stop this overwhelming thoughts? Am i wrong for thinking about this? Please help me understand ://

edit: where can i meet with other people like me online? Are there any more communities? I’m very shy and i don’t know how to even socialize 😅😅😅