Is it naive to search for love in the BDSM community?
I’m a 29 year old black woman (turning 30 soon), I’ve been in the lifestyle since I was 19, but most of my relationships have always been vanilla. Not coz I wanted a vanilla relationship but that’s all there is in my country. Whenever I visit bdsm sites like FetLife or bdsm facebook pages they’ve always been about hook up culture and …I get it people just want a play session or a casual relationship where they play from time to time. I’m not sure how easy it is in other countries but man is it difficult to find a kinky partner in South Africa. Unfortunately during my search I’ve come across a lot of fake doms ,I even found subs pretending to be doms. After my tiresome search over the years I took a break from dating and intimacy all together so I’ve been celibate for 3years. Which isn’t a long time, I guess. Now I’m back on dating apps . I found FEELD, which is cool but it feels like tinder (which I hated).
Any advice on where I can find a romantic connection with a like minded person?
I’m a Sub (I’ve been a domme before but I prefer to be a sub).