My sex life is affecting my self esteem
I have been with my partner for 5 years now. Our relationship is pretty good for the most part we just did IVF & are preparing for our baby this year. However......the sex life is MEH. We always start with me giving him oral and then he just "sticks it in" & begins to penetrate me. He never starts by arousing me first or while I am giving him oral. Never brought it up to him until a few months ago and I saw SOME changes like he'd start touching me down there (I do not like oral being done on me) and then he just stopped. It is as if he does not enjoy it at all or simply is selfish to not care about my sexual needs. I don't know why I feel so embarrassed brining this conversation up to him, but I think its really messing with my looks/self esteem. Im always wondering maybe my vagina is not "attractive" enough for him or maybe I smell? But he always reassures me that is not that case, but simply it is something he never did prior to dating me. In a way I feel as if I am dating a man child, like maybe he is grossed out by it? I guess I am just tired of being used when he needs to release bc it truly feels that way sometimes. Now I feel like I can't break up with him bc we just did IVF & I am not the kind of girl to cheat on my partner or seek a better sex life. What should I do?