r/sexadvice

I would wanna make out, kissing my way down and tease him a little before sucking it but is that too much for a friend. Should I just make it straight to the point? (Maybe if it’s simple less chance of us being weird after 🤷‍♀️)

For context we are both single and have had casual conversations on sex and that hasn’t change the way we view each other. My worry is kissing ( which feels more romantic than sexual) might send the wrong message, I like our friendship and would like to keep it. On the other hand if I’m gonna suck dick I wanna do it right.

im (22F) currently fwb with this guy (32M) and when we had sex the first two times, he ate me out. but then after that, he just stopped and idk why. and part of me is really nervous to ask him, partly because of our age difference i feel awkward sometimes trying to have more serious convos with him. he still expects head from me tho which is a bit annoying. but idk how to gain the courage to ask because i feel embarrassed to ask for what i want sometimes

My gf (21) is on birth control and since she’s been on it she doesn’t really have any interest in sex which is fine I don’t want to be pushy but I was just wondering if there was anything I can do to be better at putting her in the mood. Any advice?

so long story short I (23M) been have some... performance issues with my partner and i was thinking of asking my female best friend of like 10 years if i could try with her to see if it is just me, however our friendship has only ever been purely platonic although i fantasise about her all the time over the last 10 years, is that a bad idea do yous think it will ruin the friendship? we can talk about legit anything no topics we dont really talk about except obviously we arent always talking about sex although we have before so idk

Hey everyone, looking for some insight here because I'm genuinely confused.

Me and my girlfriend often dirty talk, and it usually ends with one of us sending a nude or a video on Snapchat, and things go from there. But lately, something has been happening that doesn't make sense to me. Sometimes, she apparently finishes in literally 10 seconds.

Today we had our usual routine. I sent her a video of me getting off, and she seemed into it. But when she came back to our normal conversation, I realized it had only been maybe 10 seconds max. On top of that, I noticed she wasn't even active in our Snapchat chat window while it was happening (you know how you can see when someone is looking at the chat).

Because of the timing, I honestly assumed she just wasn't interested, didn't actually masturbate, and was just making it up to be nice. But when I brought it up, she swore she did watch the video and somehow managed to cum in those 10 seconds. This isn't a one-time thing either; several times before during "e-sex," she has finished absurdly fast.

For some context, she’s never had a sexual partner before me, and she’s my first girlfriend too, so I’m still figuring out how all of this works.

When we have in-person sex, I’ve never strictly timed it, but it’s always at least more than 5 minutes. She assures me that she orgasms like 90% of the time, but honestly, if she didn't say "I came, I came," I wouldn't even know. She acts exactly the same during the orgasm as she does during normal sex. There's no major physical response like twitching, getting tense, or squírting fluid (besides regular lube/fluids) and i dont feel any contractions (not to say thats supposed to happen, but i thought maybe i feel a difference). Either way we've been active for more than a year?

Part of me wonders if she even knows what a real orgasm feels like, or if she's confusing regular arousal/tingling with actually finishing. Even sub-1 minute seems wild to me, but 10 seconds feels physically impossible.

Has anyone else experienced a partner who can cum this fast just from a video? is it normal for an orgasm to have zero visible physical cues? Is she just hyper-sensitive, or is she likely faking it?

Ask me anything!

Me 19M and my girlfriend 19F have been together almost 2 years and we're each other's first and we've made out a couple of times, seen each other naked, had sensual touches on genitals, fingering licking no bj tho, not quite comfy with that.

So the first time we tried to have sex we didn't have lube i tried to get her as wet as i could and when she asked for it i put on the condom and went in the first attempt, i didn't go completely in kinda like 20-30% and stopped since it was hurting her, i asked if she wanted me to continue and she said no so i pulled out and just cuddled with her, after a few minutes i began touching her again and after sm time she said lets try again but this time i couldn't enter, maybe it was me but it kept going above or downward then cut to a month later we try again, we have a lot of foreplay and again she's begging for me to put it in, this time as well it didn't go in, i used lube this time but it didn't go in it kept going above or downwards we, i asked if we could try cowgirl but i couldn't see the hole from that position so we tried missionary again still didn't work so just ended up fingering and licking for context the first time was in a hotel room and second time was in my house and we were there for like a day or so, we tried again that night nothing again tried doggy couldn't see the hole again, so anyone experienced please help me out here i wanna give her that experience and satisfy her

What is your favorite way to be woken up when your lady is in need of being serviced?? Asking for a friend 😺 😜

Can i arouse her without oral sex? I just want to pull down her panties and straightaway thrist inside her to make her moan. Also can my female partner cum inside me by vaginal sex?mm

Me and my GF just lost our virginity a couple days ago. We had a lot of fun together, we tried different positions and places in my room and she even cosplayed for me. Overall, we had a lot of fun and we definitely would do it again.

But here are some of my concerns:

1. When I first enter, there was no blood but I suppose that it’s normal.
2. When I came, I did ejaculated into the condom while I’m inside, it is completely safe right? When I checked, there was no tear or wear, I did pulled out immediately after that, and the condom is kinda hard to slip off too.
3. When she gets back home, she said that it hurt a little bit when she pee and said it got a little worse the day after, is it normal? and any tips to avoid this?
4. Any common tips and tricks I should use or apply?
5. Any fun suggestions to make sex more enjoyable and not repetitive in the future?

Thank you for reading and coming by!

My girlfriend and I (27f and 25m respectively) are currently due to medical reasons unable to have penetrative sex for a while. During this time she wants to give me blowjobs more often but can’t do it for more than a minute before she has to stop because her jaw hurts. Am I doing something wrong or is there some kind of trick to this so that she can give me a blowjob for more than a minute or two?
Extra context; I’m fairly large (8in long 3in thick) I’m pretty experienced sexually and she is not, I’ve also had almost universally no one able to fit the whole thing but never before having to give up that quick? She gives incredible head like life changing but only for a minute and especially since we can’t have penetration I’m really hoping to find a solution I can slyly suggest to help.

So I have been married now for over 8 years and was married prior to this marriage. I can’t help but feel like we have drifted apart in the bedroom. I want similar amounts of sex if not more than when we started dating and my wife seems fine with significantly less sex. For those with a mind for numbers. To get me to 90% happiness I would need sex daily. To get to 99% I would need it like three times a day and there would never really be 100% so with that high drive in mind I get why she wouldn’t be able to long term keep up. I also would like to add she has added effort and we have gone from having sex every 20 or so days down to about 10 which is still not frequent enough for me. I hate the idea of bringing it up because I know she is putting in effort and I’m beginning to see the amount she would have to put in to get me to 90% as not worth it. On top of that I don’t really feel like she enjoys sex as much any more. Which sucks. I’m very eager to please so if there is something that needs to be done it just has to be mentioned and it’s happening. She doesn’t like to talk dirty. She is self conscious about kissing me and a whole other slew of reasons why I can’t get some of the things I would like. I haven’t fought it. I just sort of quietly accepted limitations and moved on. With sex being less fun I have started to lose interest. It’s kind of heart breaking figuring out how much of your personality is tied to your sexuality (at least for me in my case) and slowly feeling it sort of die. Like I don’t know what is a normal level of sexual decline for couples. I also fully get and accept life is a turn off sometimes and things a husband can do to increase the likelihood they will have sex. I have applied that in waves but have never really been completely selfish and not willing to help out. I truly think this is just a sexual mismatch and I’m pretty much stuck in sexual mode all day which is probably the problem. Unfortunately we don’t spend a lot of time talking about what is normal for a couple to experience in this arena. And I know things come and go in seasons. I would love some advice because the idea of talking to my wife about how I’m feeling about it and being ready to give up on sex this season seems like a conversation I should think carefully through. I know there will be lots of questions so I think it’s important I understand myself. Oh. Few more things to fill in the psych profile. I’m a combat veteran addicted to caffeine and adrenaline. Also adopted(mommy issues). And not super interested in “fixing” being over sexual. I definitely want to understand and figure out how outside of the norm I am. But I over all enjoy being a person that everything does have a slight sexual shade to them. As of late I have found my eye has started to wander but I don’t think it’ll impact much. I view it all as a trap where I continue to spiral and make worse decisions or I end up with a new person after all that struggle just for them to have lower drive than initial. so I’m not worried about cheating. I’d just like to feel happy and desired in my sex life rather than a burden. But I get that my drive is really high and probably won’t find many that want to always be engaging in some sort of playful sex.

I 24f have been in a relationship with my bf 28m for 3 years. There were a few issues when we first started having sex that i think really lowered my confidence at the time but even since getting past that we still just don’t have very good sex. I’ve been in relationships before this one and i was always a very spontaneous, adventurous, try anything once type of person when it came to sex. I used to have sex daily and love getting on top, giving blowjobs, trying new positions, etc. That said, it seems like we just can’t get there or maybe he doesn’t want to which is upsetting for me because i want to do all these things but i feel like we’re both just bored with sex and he doesn’t really care to change that. I just want to feel sexy and confident again and i want to feel like i’m satisfying my partner but any time i tried getting on top or going down on him he just didn’t really seem to like it. I told him i could use some constructive criticism or if he does like it some positive reinforcement but that just made him awkwardly fake moan to try to make me feel better. Now it’s gotten to the point where we only have sex like once a month in the same position, no foreplay, no snuggling up after, just in and out.

If anyone has any tips on anything i can do to try to get him excited about sex again? I’ve tried lingerie, strip poker, getting all dressed up and making a fancy dinner and drinks, spontaneous blowjobs, etc. (I think maybe i’m just bad at bjs? I used to really love to give them because i thought i was good at it but i must not be so i guess any tips there too)

I don’t know how much more i can make a fool of myself here trying to seduce my own boyfriend. My confidence is basically shot and i’m getting close to just giving up on ever having a good sex life again. I’ve been trying for years

I’ve tried and I’ve tried deepthroating I’ve worked and worked and trained and trained and he gets so aggravated and I understand but I’m so sick of it I’m about to just let him have someone that he can deepthroat. At first I’ve wanted to do it just myself but now it’s just so much and it’s like he’s trying everything possible just to make me fail. I’m thinking on giving in but is that wrong? I was against it at first but it’s so much and I don’t want to throw up and I keep getting overwhelmed I’m so sick and tired of this happening and his attitude towards it but I love him and he loves he other than that we are very very happy it just means that much to him.

Is it unethical for me to allow it? Could something go wrong I need to think about down the road? Please give me guidance someone.

(TW: Sexual assault, sexual trauma, childhood trauma)

As I (25M) said in my title, I crossed a serious sexual boundary with my girlfriend (26F) and I am spiralling and need genuine advice, guidance, and support. I am not here to make excuses for what I did and I acknowledge that what I did was seriously wrong, but I would like to provide context for understanding.

Context:
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years. Throughout our relationship, we have had a complicated sexual dynamic. Early on, we had a very active sex life, but over time she opened up about sexual trauma, low libido, possible asexuality, and discomfort with direct sexual requests and communication. She also has autism/PDA and says that direct conversations about sex or planned sex make her feel pressured.

Over time, our sexual dynamic became very indirect and, at times, confusing. We explored CNC/free-use style dynamics together (with safewords), including role-play where “no” was sometimes part of the fantasy unless a safeword was used. We also engaged in sleep-related sexual play where I would sometimes touch or finger her while she was asleep or half-asleep, which she previously expressed enjoying. However, looking back, I realise our boundaries may have became extremely blurred and unsafe.

At the same time, our sex life declined significantly over the years — from several times a week, to a few times a week, to once a week, to once every two weeks, and now sometimes once or twice a month. I have a very high libido, and physical affection is very important to me emotionally, so this has been very difficult. Meanwhile, she increasingly only wanted sex rarely and on her own terms or timing. Because of this, I started building resentment, feeling unwanted, undesirable, sexually neglected, and emotionally disconnected. I also increasingly relied on porn and masturbation due to the lack of sexual intimacy.

Post:
Recently, I did something that I now realise crossed a serious line. I went into the room while she was asleep and tried to initiate oral sex by putting my penis in her mouth while she was sleeping. I had seen a porn scenario like this before and wrongly assumed she might be into it based on our previous dynamics. She woke up panicked and later told me she feels like I sexually assaulted her.

I immediately apologised and acknowledged that what I did was wrong, but I also panicked and became defensive while trying to explain how our confusing sexual dynamic and my resentment contributed to me making such a terrible decision (which I now realise likely came across as minimising or deflecting instead of fully centring her experience).

I am struggling heavily with shame and self-hatred right now because I genuinely never wanted to hurt or violate my partner, but I understand that intent does not erase impact.

I am not looking for people to tell me she is wrong or that what I did was okay. I already understand I crossed a line. I am trying to understand:

1. How to take accountability properly
2. How to navigate the aftermath of this
3. Whether this relationship dynamic has become fundamentally unsafe for both of us
4. What I should do moving forward to make sure I never repeat harmful behaviour again

Please be honest but constructive.

(PS: I understand this is a very triggering topic. I am not trying to justify my actions — I am trying to understand them and take responsibility for them. I am doing my best to sit with the reality of what I’ve done.)

Boyfriend has only given me head once and never did it again.

I’ve (28F) been dating this guy (32M) for 2 months and we just made things official. We became sexually active with each other pretty early on. Our first time having sex he gave me head, but since then had never given me head again. Obviously my first thought was that he didn’t like it. Did I taste funny down there? Was there a smell? But when I asked him randomly what it tasted like down there, he said I tasted good! I give him incredible head all the time and he doesn’t seem to even think about returning the favor. I don’t want to ask him why he doesn’t give me head or even ask for it during sex because it makes me not even want it anymore. Like why should I have to ask you to do it? It’s such a turn off. What are your thoughts on this?

(37f) recently discovered I’m a squirter with a new partner, it’s amazing. However, I don’t mind period sex but am afraid of blood splattering everywhere. Is this a no go or do I drape tarp around us? No but seriously, I’m willing but not sure if that’s a huge no no

Hi all, going to keep this short. I want to know if this is normal or if there is maybe an issue with myself or my relationship.

I (18F) just spent the night with my long-distance girlfriend (18F) of 6 months for the first time since we got together (we have been friends for many years beforehand). We had talked about sex many times, healthy discussion, including our traumas and previous experiences, but both of us were actually virgins. Until 2 nights ago. I expected to feel different. Older. More mature. Dirty. Proud. Satisfied. Something. I dont particularly have much emotion about it. Without too much intimate detail, I am of course happy I was able to satisfy my girlfriend, but im not even sure if she satisfied me in that same physical way. Its nothing against her and I dont regret it but I havent told her about this because I dont want to make her feel bad and im not even sure WHAT I would tell her.

Why dont i feel any differently? Is it normal to feel like this? What do I do?

TLDR; I do not feel how I had expected to feel about losing my virginity.

My wife has told me that the idea of me tasting my own cum gets her off. I've tasted my precum when we've been doing foreplay via spreading it on her mouth and kissing her and this really got her going. I'm trying to work up to full on cumming in her mouth, which she loves, then kissing her, but just can't quite commit to essentially snowballing my own cum with her. Anyone do this with their partner? If so, any advice? It's not a make or break thing for our relationship. Just something to explore.

So me and my gf tried having sex the second time today she was really wet indeed like even the mattress sheet was so wet tried and i still cant put it in and i dint force it too much cause she said it hurts a little .to peple out there can anyone help me out or suggest anything.