u/Titus4266

I'm 33 years old, and I've never been in a relationship or had sex. The closest I ever got was going on one date with a girl. We kissed a few times, but nothing happened after that.

The problem is that lately this has stopped being just something that makes me sad once in a while and has turned into an obsession. I have a hard time focusing on my job, my daily responsibilities, or enjoying anything because my mind always goes back to the same issue. I feel a mix of frustration and envy when I see that, for most people, having a partner or an active sex life seems like a normal part of life, while for me it has always felt completely out of reach.

Just to be clear, I'm not sitting at home waiting for something to magically happen. I've tried joining social activities, I do my best to stay positive, and I try to meet new people, but for some reason I never manage to make any real progress.

Right now I'm working in the United States (I'm from Argentina) and, in theory, I should be enjoying the experience. Instead, I feel exactly the same. I'd like to meet someone, but between my fear, my constant overthinking, and the fact that flirting in English is much harder for me than in Spanish, I end up doing nothing.

I've even considered hiring an escort, mostly because I want to stop feeling like I'm completely inexperienced. But escorts here are extremely expensive (over $500 an hour), and I'm afraid I'd be so nervous that I wouldn't even be able to get an erection, which would mean wasting the money and feeling even worse afterward. So I can't bring myself to do it.

It feels like a vicious cycle. The more time passes, the more pressure I put on myself, and the more pressure I feel, the less likely it is that anything will work out.

I'm not looking for people to tell me, "It'll happen when you least expect it," because after 33 years, it's honestly very hard for me to believe that. I also don't think that having a girlfriend or having sex would magically solve all my problems. What I do know is that this frustration is draining my energy and is starting to affect my everyday life.

Has anyone here gone through something similar? How did you get out of this obsessive mindset? What actually helped? I'm more interested in hearing from people who have experienced something like this than in getting generic advice.

I've seen a lot of videos online showing huge college parties where everything seems completely out of control, almost like something straight out of American Pie 😂.

I also hear people joke that students there are much more sexually open than in other places. Is there any truth to that, or is it mostly just a stereotype exaggerated by social media and movies?

I'm genuinely curious about what the culture is actually like and what it's really like to be a student there.

I'm a guy and there's something I’m super curious about (and honestly, it really turns me on) is the idea of a woman putting a finger up my ass. I’ve never tried it, but just thinking about it drives me crazy.

The thing is, I feel like for a lot of girls this might be kind of gross or awkward, and that makes me hesitate to even bring it up.

How common or normal is this? Is it something a lot of couples do, or is it still pretty taboo?

I’d love to hear from both guys and girls, especially if you’ve talked about it with your partners or tried it, and how it went for you.

I’m 32 years old man and I’ve never had sex.

Throughout my life, I’ve had a couple of opportunities where I was with a girl, kissing on the sofa, but inside I felt so uncomfortable that I just wanted it to end quickly and for her to leave. After those experiences, I still wanted to invite the girl out again, but fear paralyzes me because I don’t know what to do when we’re both naked. I want to clarify that I have social anxiety and I take clonazepam and fluoxetine, prescribed by several psychologists and psychiatrists I’ve seen throughout my life. Despite that, my libido is very high, and although many people say it’s not good to watch porn, I feel an overwhelming need to consume erotic content as a way to "fill" the gap of not having sex. At this point in my life, I feel like I should urgently go with a prostitute and risk not getting an erection or not enjoying it due to the nerves. I talk about this topic all the time with my parents, but they don’t know how to help me. My mind is constantly trying to understand why I’ve never experienced sex the way other "normal" people do, why something so natural for others has never happened to me. I’m losing my mind, and I don’t know what else to do.

I’m 32 years old, a man, and I’ve never had sex. Throughout my life, I’ve had a couple of opportunities where I was with a girl, kissing on the sofa, but inside I felt so uncomfortable that I just wanted it to end quickly and for her to leave. After those experiences, I still wanted to invite the girl out again, but fear paralyzes me because I don’t know what to do when we’re both naked. I want to clarify that I have social anxiety and I take clonazepam and fluoxetine, prescribed by several psychologists and psychiatrists I’ve seen throughout my life. Despite that, my libido is very high, and although many people say it’s not good to watch porn, I feel an overwhelming need to consume erotic content as a way to "fill" the gap of not having sex. At this point in my life, I feel like I should urgently go with a prostitute and risk not getting an erection or not enjoying it due to the nerves. I talk about this topic all the time with my parents, but they don’t know how to help me. My mind is constantly trying to understand why I’ve never experienced sex the way other "normal" people do, why something so natural for others has never happened to me. I’m losing my mind, and I don’t know what else to do.

I’m 32 years old, a man, and I’ve never had sex. Throughout my life, I’ve had a couple of opportunities where I was with a girl, kissing on the sofa, but inside I felt so uncomfortable that I just wanted it to end quickly and for her to leave. After those experiences, I still wanted to invite the girl out again, but fear paralyzes me because I don’t know what to do when we’re both naked. I want to clarify that I have social anxiety and I take clonazepam and fluoxetine, prescribed by several psychologists and psychiatrists I’ve seen throughout my life. Despite that, my libido is very high, and although many people say it’s not good to watch porn, I feel an overwhelming need to consume erotic content as a way to "fill" the gap of not having sex. At this point in my life, I feel like I should urgently go with a prostitute and risk not getting an erection or not enjoying it due to the nerves. I talk about this topic all the time with my parents, but they don’t know how to help me. My mind is constantly trying to understand why I’ve never experienced sex the way other "normal" people do, why something so natural for others has never happened to me. I’m losing my mind, and I don’t know what else to do.