My fiance is causing me pain by sex
We've been together for 3,5 years and in a long distance relationship. When we meet about once a month, sometimes more often, we naturally have sex. I have communicated with my partner what my needs for sex are and explained to him how women's bodies work that foreplay and other stimulations are essential for painless and enjoyable sex when we started to be intimate. Usually he did try to meet my needs but recently stopped. Became more spontaneous, to me saying that penetration without preperation will hurt me responded 'it will be fine, you'll loosen up' and when i asked why he doesn't touch me before penetration after a few times it happened he said he hates his hand is all dirty from lube and it gets everywhere. He suggested that i should just masturbate beforehand, which i did a couple of times but it just makes me feel used even when i was in the mood before. The fact of preparing myself alone and being ready only for penetration ruines it for me and makes me feel like a sex doll when he's not even bothered . When we had spontaneous sex and i was spotting a bit of blood he was concerned and apologised, but some time after we had another just like that when it hurt right from the start and i was hissing from pain he stopped for a bit and when i got more used to it, continued. The same day a few hours later wants to have sex the same way again, saying i should still be loose enough. And then it just hurts way more because my vagina was already sore. He just says that it feels loose to him and should be fine. I don't want to deny him sex as i want that as well, but i want pleasure not pain with his comments like my body shouldn't be hurt like that as if i have no idea how my body feels. We used to have good sex before for me, but recently it just becomes more painfull, like if i want to be intimate with him when he's in the mood and can't plan it, i just have to deal with the pain. We're soon moving out to our place together but i can't help but feel afraid i'm just going to be sore and hurt all the time if i want to feel love. How do i even communicate that with him when i already did it at the start, in the meantime asked questions why he doesn't do foreplay for me and even have been expressive with pain and blood spotting? I have no idea what to think about him or if he belittles my pain or just doesn't care. I'm sorry about a post do long, but i just wanted to describe all the situations and how i feel as i have no one to tell about this.