u/Annual_Subject1846

Had a few forgettable and akward experience before that only ended in a quick car bj

2 years pass of me, not doing anything with another man but admittedly watching more trans and cock worship porn, and I get a random dm. He’s fit, not overly masculine but without a hint of feminine, average looking and well groomed black/dominican man around my age. Immediately the vibes were different and the conversations just flowed. The cherry on top was he actually had his own apartment. First 3 meet ups went like the others where I got my dick sucked…. But what was different is we actually chilled a little before and the little after even squeezing in another bj

We started to get somewhat consistent and it was the perfect set up for my guard to start dropping and making me do things I didn’t consider before. Very soon the dick sucking was mutual and when I told him I wasn’t new to anal play with toys the link ups went up like 10 notches.

Although he used dildos on me….. I still was hesitant to be a bottom. I felt like that was the last thing I could hold on to and in my delusional mind justify that I’m still straight . We never talked about it, and he never tried to make a move during heat or moment….. until about 2 weeks ago He had me on my back with my legs in air and blindfolded as he used a toy on me, nothing new for us at this point, but then there was a little pause where he pulled out the toy and I heard the lube squirting thinking he’s reapplying or choosing a new toy….. but no, I felt both his hands grip right behind my knee, pushing them tighter to my body and that’s when I felt him enter me. I ripped off blindfold and I just couldn’t believe the situation I was in….. like he was never on some dominant vibes but I tried to get him off saying something along the lines of “wtf bro cmon get off , I’m not down for this rn” …. And a switch flipped in him where he got super aggro and basically took me by force…… very quickly into it my mind and body melted into pure pleasure….. I can’t fully describe the zombie like state I was in but it was unforgettable ……I felt like I was always in control of my sexuality and confident I would keep myself from going too far….And yet here I was loving and leaking from him using me. He started rough and ended tender

I kinda just laid there in bed with him and cuddled for a bit until I gathered my senses and left. I had a dark cloud of shame hanging over me for days….. and I’m a little embarrassed to admit…. That shame is all but gone and it’s being replaced with a hunger for it to happen again….

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Had a few forgettable and akward experience before that only ended in a quick car bj

2 years pass of me, not doing anything with another man but admittedly watching more trans and cock worship porn, and I get a random dm. He’s fit, not overly masculine but without a hint of feminine, average looking and well groomed black/dominican man around my age. Immediately the vibes were different and the conversations just flowed. The cherry on top was he actually had his own apartment. First 3 meet ups went like the others where I got my dick sucked…. But what was different is we actually chilled a little before and the little after even squeezing in another bj

We started to get somewhat consistent and it was the perfect set up for my guard to start dropping and making me do things I didn’t consider before. Very soon the dick sucking was mutual and when I told him I wasn’t new to anal play with toys the link ups went up like 10 notches.

Although he used dildos on me….. I still was hesitant to be a bottom. I felt like that was the last thing I could hold on to and in my delusional mind justify that I’m still straight . We never talked about it, and he never tried to make a move during heat or moment….. until about 2 weeks ago He had me on my back with my legs in air and blindfolded as he used a toy on me, nothing new for us at this point, but then there was a little pause where he pulled out the toy and I heard the lube squirting thinking he’s reapplying or choosing a new toy….. but no, I felt both his hands grip right behind my knee, pushing them tighter to my body and that’s when I felt him enter me. I ripped off blindfold and I just couldn’t believe the situation I was in….. like he was never on some dominant vibes but I tried to get him off saying something along the lines of “wtf bro cmon get off , I’m not down for this rn” …. And a switch flipped in him where he got super aggro and basically took me by force…… very quickly into it my mind and body melted into pure pleasure….. I can’t fully describe the zombie like state I was in but it was unforgettable ……I felt like I was always in control of my sexuality and confident I would keep myself from going too far….And yet here I was loving and leaking from him using me. He started rough and ended tender

I kinda just laid there in bed with him and cuddled for a bit until I gathered my senses and left. I had a dark cloud of shame hanging over me for days….. and I’m a little embarrassed to admit…. That shame is all but gone and it’s being replaced with a hunger for it to happen again….

Had a few forgettable and akward experience before that only ended in a quick car bj

2 years pass of me, not doing anything with another man but admittedly watching more trans and cock worship porn, and I get a random dm. He’s fit, not overly masculine but without a hint of feminine, average looking and well groomed black/dominican man around my age. Immediately the vibes were different and the conversations just flowed. The cherry on top was he actually had his own apartment. First 3 meet ups went like the others where I got my dick sucked…. But what was different is we actually chilled a little before and the little after even squeezing in another bj

We started to get somewhat consistent and it was the perfect set up for my guard to start dropping and making me do things I didn’t consider before. Very soon the dick sucking was mutual and when I told him I wasn’t new to anal play with toys the link ups went up like 10 notches.

Although he used dildos on me….. I still was hesitant to be a bottom. I felt like that was the last thing I could hold on to and in my delusional mind justify that I’m still straight . We never talked about it, and he never tried to make a move during heat or moment….. until about 2 weeks ago He had me on my back with my legs in air and blindfolded as he used a toy on me, nothing new for us at this point, but then there was a little pause where he pulled out the toy and I heard the lube squirting thinking he’s reapplying or choosing a new toy….. but no, I felt both his hands grip right behind my knee, pushing them tighter to my body and that’s when I felt him enter me. I ripped off blindfold and I just couldn’t believe the situation I was in….. like he was never on some dominant vibes but I tried to get him off saying something along the lines of “wtf bro cmon get off , I’m not down for this rn” …. And a switch flipped in him where he got super aggro and basically took me by force…… very quickly into it my mind and body melted into pure pleasure….. I can’t fully describe the zombie like state I was in but it was unforgettable ……I felt like I was always in control of my sexuality and confident I would keep myself from going too far….And yet here I was loving and leaking from him using me. He started rough and ended tender

I kinda just laid there in bed with him and cuddled for a bit until I gathered my senses and left. I had a dark cloud of shame hanging over me for days….. and I’m a little embarrassed to admit…. That shame is all but gone and it’s being replaced with a hunger for it to happen again….

I myself sometimes laugh at how delusional I must sound when I explain why I disagree with identifying as bi/fluid. I’ve had a few honest conversations with strangers and fully confess all the experiences I’ve had with men. I’m a tall, handsome and very much masculine man that gives zero hints at being someone who has experimented. Never had any trouble getting laid and I’ve realized that kind of fueled the fire to push further. I won’t lay out all details here, I’ll save that for anyone who reaches out and wants to know…… but but I’ll at least say as of recently, I feel like the new limit I pushed definitely makes it harder to argue my “straight” title…..

Vague, I know….. but hoping someone who actually would like to talk past the surface would be interested enough to hmu

I myself sometimes laugh at how delusional I must sound when I explain why I disagree with identifying as bi/fluid. I’ve had a few honest conversations with strangers and fully confess all the experiences I’ve had with men. I’m a tall, handsome and very much masculine man that gives zero hints at being someone who has experimented. Never had any trouble getting laid and I’ve realized that kind of fueled the fire to push further. I won’t lay out all details here, I’ll save that for anyone who reaches out and wants to know…… but but I’ll at least say as of recently, I feel like the new limit I pushed definitely makes it harder to argue my “straight” title…..

Vague, I know….. but hoping someone who actually would like to talk past the surface would be interested enough to hmu