54 M4F #Syracuse #Central New York – Let’s Festoon Ourselves in Our Red Flags and Perform an Elaborate Mating Dance
It has been a long time since I have posted an ad but suffice it to say that I’ve been in this space a while. In that time, at least on the online side, I’ve had a pretty great experience. I’ve had fulfilling relationships ranging from terrific online friendships, to spicy pen pals, to fulfilling long-term online affairs that have featured occasional meets. But I have never connected with someone closer than two hours from where I live, so I’ve never found someone that I could see as often as I would have liked. So here I am putting something out into the universe in the hope that maybe someone special and close to home may be looking.
One of those great friends once told me that nobody should be good at :gestures broadly: all this, but I kind of think I am? At least, I think that I’m a fun correspondent who is pretty good at figuring out who he vibes with. And I put a lot of effort into trying to fascinate that person. I enjoy the performative aspect of a great online relationship. I like being up on my metaphorical unicycle showing you all my tricks. And, then, I like getting to know someone deeply. I like being fascinated (and hopefully being found fascinating in return).
That said, I’m not a “sapiosexual”. If you’re smart, I’ll find that sexy, but I don’t give a shit about your curriculum vitae. “Demisexual” probably comes closer to the mark, but I describe myself as a “vibe-o-sexual.” Nothing is sexier to me than connecting on that level where two people can instinctively make each other laugh, or think deeply, or (when the time is right) turn each other on.
And that’s what I want. Someone who engages my mind and my feelings, but also, to be perfectly frank, someone who is eventually interested in connecting on a sexual level. I will freely admit to being a needy guy who craves sexual validation. Caveat emptor. I’ll read the room. I’ll let you lead until I’m absolutely sure you’re interested. I’ll try my very hardest to make sure you always feel safe and respected. But I’m not going to insult your intelligence. I want to know all your hopes, dreams, and opinions, but I also want to see you naked. And ideally, if we clicked, we’d eventually be validating each other’s brains out on at least a semi-regular basis. And, because I’ve done this before, you should know that I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m seeking sex outside my marriage. I won’t kick the tires and disappear when shit gets real. If things work out, I'll do my damnedest to celebrate you in every way. With regular communication, (because I'm underemployed and chatty, ladies) and hopefully with more direct, one-on-one appreciation.
To that end, here’s what you should know about me. I’m smart enough to have finished at the top of my class at a top 10 law school. And my executive functioning is terrible enough for me to have completely washed out as a practicing attorney. I’m a smart guy, but if you’re looking for an unqualified success or a guy who has it all figured out in his life, I’d recommend you keep scrolling. What you’ll get from me is at least my best attempt at radical candor. I have red flags. I’ll try to own them. I have a dead bedroom, but my wife is not a villain and I’m not a blameless victim. Marriage (and modern life) is hard. I have lots of weird interests and obsessions and I'm curious to learn about yours. Show me something you love and I’ll show you my Prince-themed bathroom.
Physically, I’ve described myself as anything from a Temu Jason Kelce to a guy with an “old-timey circus strongman” physique. I have broad shoulders and a barrel-chest. I have pretty nice, well-muscled legs that I like enough to dress in gym shorts that are entirely too slutty for a man of my advanced age. But I absolutely also have a belly. I carry it OK, but I don’t even think it’s fair to call myself a “dad bod.” I’m working toward that, but you should know that I don’t have an ideal body. And my hairline is kind of a disaster. I’m not fully bald, but you might think I should bite the bullet on that point. I have a salt and pepper beard that seems to divide opinion, but I like it. I’m happy to send a pic early and will absolutely not take it personally if you decide I’m not your type (or if you just ghost for that matter, you should never make yourself feel uncomfortable for my sake).
As for you? I’m attracted to a broad array of women. With that said, I don’t think that means that I'm desperate or undiscerning. I’m not attracted to uncurious people. Or to mean people. I’m not attracted to people who don’t have pretty progressive politics. And I don’t apologize for that, because if you’re conservative or even a certain kind of centrist, you probably won’t like me much either. In terms of age, I tend to mesh best with the charming menopausal and perimenopausal women of Reddit. Probably 40 and up. Is there wiggle room? I’m a dude on Reddit. I’ll be lucky to get a handful of replies, so I’m not going to say that a grown-ass woman in her late 30s can’t shoot her shot, but she should be prepared to be mystified by my constant Better Off Dead references. I won’t state an upper age limit. DM me, Helen Mirren.
It would be nice if our logistics worked out. I’ve never really prioritized that in a search before, but I would like at least the opportunity to meet pretty regularly if we hit it off. It’s less important than the vibe, but not unimportant.