r/Affairs

I’m 39. High maintenance and very girly. I like to workout and I take very good care of myself. I work full time, I have kids and do a lot for a lot of people. But I am so lonely most of the time. I think I’m a real good time and pretty witty. I want to laugh with someone and actually look forward to something again.

I am giving this one last try. I know what I’m looking for here and honestly some of you have tried to make me settle for less. I am attracted to strong male energy. Keep me in my place but tell me how good I am while you’re doing it. I don’t want to be in charge I am in charge of wayyy too many other things. Please be in good shape…physical attraction is a make or break for me. I’d really like to find someone that likes talking to me and has an upbeat attitude about things. I’d love to be able to have a friend that I have intense sexual chemistry with.

Please DO NOT message me if
- you’re from Ohio. That state hates me and only brings me torture.
- You think sending me videos of your limp dick is going to get me going.
- You’re only going to want to talk to me when you’re horny.
- You only want to talk to me when YOU want to talk to me and leave my messages on read otherwise.
- Tell me that you’re 40 something and then later say 53.

If you made it to the end then why don’t you tell me what you want….

26 [F4M] #Salem #Eugene #OR Looking for summer situationship!

Hi there! My LL fiancé is gone for work so I'm looking for a nice little summer affair situationship. I am not looking to change your or my situation and I value yours and my privacy. I live somewhere between Salem and Eugene and can travel.

About me: Childfree, with an unconventional schedule due to school + work. I'm into arts & crafts, cooking, and video games. 420 friendly, tattooed, pretty and East Asian w/ an average body. HL and sex is very important to me <3

What I'm looking for: A summer affair! I'd like for this to go offline and become physical somewhat quickly. I want us to be friends, have chemistry, talk about anything, and genuinely care for each other. At the same time, I want our connection to be fun, insanely hot and highly sexual. Specifically, I want mutual sexual exploration and desire.

Attraction is important to me! I am well groomed and take care of myself, I expect the same in a partner. Tattoos and plenty of sexual experience is also a big plus.

Let's make this a summer we both don't forget ;)

P.S.
Please do not contact me if you are conservative, religious, or over 45. Maybe you can be <50 if you're very sexy but I won’t respond if you’re >50.

Local only.

I do not respond to message requests with just "hi" or "asl". But please include your asl in your message request. I will not chat with 20 yos.

Looking for someone to be friends with and slowly take thing further if they get there. Ideal person: married with kids, close to my age. Has a sense of humor. Has emotional intelligence. Knows how to communicate. Can't build anything with 1 or 2 Messages a day. Idgaf what you do for a living, treat me like an employee conversation ends. Not into playing games. Someone local so if we hit it off we can eventually get together frequently.

I am not a prostitute no you can't pay me to have sex with you or jerk you off, I'm also notabot.

Calling me bitch ends conversation.

I wfh so I can chat most of the day. I prefer telegram eventually. I don't want to stay on reddit forever.

Hello! I am a mostly-fit married 47F with children. I enjoy staying active and enjoy being outdoors (when it isn't unbearably hot). I am pretty laid back and don't take myself or life too seriously.

As an icebreaker, you can answer these if you want.

1. If you could only have sex in one position for the rest of your life, what would you choose?

2. What would be our ideal first date/meetup? Would I be wearing a dress, skirt, yoga pants, jeans, or shorts?

3. How close are you to DC/NoVA and when are you generally available to meet?

I’m engaged, soon to be married, and happy in my relationship, with no desire to change that. I find that I just have a lot of leftover time, affection, attention, and genuine care to give, with nobody to give it to. I feel extremely fulfilled when I can find a good connection. Ideally a perfect situation for me is to find someone who is also looking for something more than surface level.

I have a lot of time to devote to someone, and while I’m realistic and would never expect 100% availability, I’d like us to be mutually invested in each other enough to want to talk often, and carve out opportunities to talk on the phone or video chat. I’m very emotionally available, and looking for something well-rounded with a person who is capable of being emotionally invested. I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing a connection, and would like to meet someone who will put in equal effort.

For as deep as my emotional needs are, my physical ones are a bit more shallow. Most people would describe me as attractive. I’m 5’3, pale complexion, curvy but hwp. I have bright orange dyed hair and brown eyes. I’m looking for someone else that would also be considered attractive. As good as an emotional connection can be, it will fall flat without mutual attraction.

I’d really like someone who has enough self control to keep sexual conversations at bay until we’ve gotten to know each other. I genuinely have no interest in any sexual conversations unless I like who you are as a person.

I’m tired of posting and wading through replies, but I know eventually I’ll meet someone who will make it feel worth it! And hopefully that’s you! Please use the word peanut in your message so I know you at least read my post lol nobody seems to read the posts!

Talk soon- love you byeeee!

Married with no children in Fairfair County / Westchester County / NYC. I have a car and all the availability in the world most days (husband travels weekly for work). I have no desire to leave him and I’m very comfortable in the life that he provides me. So it’s really important we’re discreet!

I’ve been married since my early, early 20s and have pretty much always been in a dead bedroom. I love having sex and all things sex related but I’m looking for an emotional connection (we talk/chat/etc) as well!

I’m pretty basic and enjoy all the normal things, working out, beach, running, coffee, wine, going to the movies, idk anything can be fun if you’re with the right person!

I’m kind of down for anything. Ideally looking for someone older ~35-40ish. But I do want to stress an emotional connection is very important to me! I’m not a fan of just meeting up to have sex and nothing. I like to go on dates and feel valued. Dates do not need to be in public obviously.

Feel free to send me a message if you’re interested!

I’m a professional in my field, married, and a mother. Here to find something mature and private that can fit into mutually busy schedules.

I’m Ebony / Black American, deeply feminine. Petite. Cat-frame glasses, long dark curls, dark eyes, dark skin. Dark all over.

Home is well-run. A deeply private lover is what I seek outside of it. This would make the most sense with a man who keeps a structured life and takes his time seriously as well.

Logistically speaking, men in PA make the most sense. If PA is on your travel schedule often, we can talk. I married older and prefer men 48+.

I’m not on Reddit often. I’ll reply as I’m able.

Good afternoon yall 🥰

Married mama here back in the grind - sadly😒 - looking for a married dad who either lives in the Charlotte area, travels this way often. Also open to a man who travels for work in general (I travel too!) where we can meet in another location.

I am brunette with big blue eyes. Classically beautiful. Curvy with a belly. If you’re looking for skinny, please don’t message me.

I’m intelligent. Well traveled. I’m a baddie in my career and a great cook. I’m funny and like to laugh - I need someone who can keep up with me and banter about an array of topics from geopolitics to “that silly trend on instagram”.

I’m a giver to the fullest extent - often to my own detriment. I’m looking for a man who can match that energy, because I certainly don’t have that in my marriage.

I tend to be attracted to men who consider themselves to be thoughtful, considerate, and masculine. Please also be conventionally attractive. Tall is preferred - need a man who can throw me around 🥰

I have the time to put into this and expect you to also. I’m looking for something long term and committed where we can escape our realities and create our own in a safe little bubble.

Please message me with your age and location and something I should know about you right off the bat. Attraction is important but it’s not all I need. Can’t wait to hear from you ❤️

I’m a very attractive, tall, slim/fit, brunette with long hair, and I’ve always been drawn to older, clean cut, successful, professional men.

I’m looking for an affair with an emotional connection, romance, chemistry, and passion. I’m not interested in something that’s purely physical. I love getting to know someone, sharing about our days, exchanging photos, flirting, and building a relationship that we both genuinely look forward to.

I value consistent communication. I completely understand that we both have our own lives, but I appreciate at least a daily check-in at minimum! I’m looking for one exclusive connection, so I’m not interested in someone who’s juggling multiple APs or enjoys playing the field.

I’m hoping to meet someone who is:

42–56
White
5’10” or taller
Successful, intelligent, clean cut, and a white collar professional

I don’t mind a dad bod! I also appreciate someone who likes planning great dates - nice restaurants, upscale hotels, good wine, and making each other feel appreciated.

I’m typically most attracted to men with a full head of hair, a clean cut look, and few or no tattoos.

Please be local (MS, AL, LA, GA, FL) or travel enough to meet in person once or twice a month. I’m looking for a real, in person connection, not an online only relationship.

I use telegram and prefer to exchange photos early to make sure there’s attraction. I also want to video chat to verify!

If we sound like each other’s types and you think we’d make each other’s days a little more exciting… send me a message! 😉

I know. I know. I’m looking in the wrong place. But circumstances have me here. My spouse now approves of my looking elsewhere for the intimacy he doesn’t provide. So here I am

I’ve tried this a few times and had great chats that slowly faded. It seems I keep running into potential that easily flakes out or is just trying to add me to a roster of women. Maybe I need to face it, that that’s what this life is?

I want to meet a guy who wants a real longterm connection. Physical attraction matters but your mind is most important. I miss conversation, intimacy, and laughter with a partner. I want a longterm AP who desires both emotional and physical intimacy, 5’10+, age 35-55, and able to meet throughout the year. Please don’t reach out if you support Trump.

I’m 5’7, intelligent, attractive, and a great connection for a guy who wants the same things as me. I love art, culture, reading, and music. Curvy and athletic = fit & thick. Let’s not waste each other’s time. If you want the same things, give me a shout.

Currently Married but something is missing. I’m a sweet, kind-hearted Southern belle with a soft heart and a feminine spirit. I’ve always had a bit of princess energy. I love feeling cared for, protected, teased, and adored. In return, I’m incredibly affectionate, loyal to the people I care about, and happiest when I can make someone smile.
Lately, I’ve realized something is missing. I’m not looking to turn my life upside down or create unnecessary drama. I’m simply hoping to find a connection that’s been absent for a long time.
I’m drawn to a gentle, masculine man with calm confidence. Someone with natural daddy energy—not controlling, just protective, patient, emotionally mature, and able to make me feel safe enough to let my guard down. The kind of man who enjoys taking the lead with kindness, values communication, and understands that trust isn’t rushed.
If you’ve reached out before and things didn’t go anywhere, let’s not beat a dead horse. No hard feelings. I think we both deserve to find the connection we’re looking for.

23 [F4M] #Phoenix - Looking for someone to sneak around with. I’m 5’4”, about 125 lbs, with long brown hair, green eyes, and a few tattoos. I’m married so I need total discretion and someone who gets it. I work part time at a coffee shop and spend my free time reading, hiking when it’s not too hot, and binging shows. I’m pretty laid back, a little sarcastic, and love good conversation that doesn’t feel forced. I’m not looking to change my situation, just something that gives me that spark again. Physical chemistry matters a lot to me but I also want someone I can actually talk to. I’m clean and recently tested. If you’re in a similar spot, around my age or a bit older, and can keep things low key, message me with your age and a little about you. No pressure, just see if we click.

Yeah, I know, that was bad! I’m not from around here, ok?

(not local to Chicago, just visiting)

A little about me: I’m married, 5’4”, with long dark hair, brown eyes, glasses, full figured (thicc), a great sense of humor, and enough confidence to know exactly what I bring to the table. I’m active, attractive, independent, and always working toward becoming the best version of myself.

What am I looking for? Someone who misses having that person they can’t wait to hear from. Someone who values consistency, chemistry, and mutual effort. I have the flexibility to make time for the right connection and would love to meet someone who is equally interested in creating something enjoyable, uncomplicated, and lasting.

I’m not looking to disrupt anyone’s life, including my own.

Now, tell me, where should I be eating during my time here in Chicago?

Let’s see.. let’s see. I’m a gal on a mission to meet a special AP, a true friend with benefits that is open to chatting at all hours and yes, meeting up sooner than later! Attraction is a must, because I’m not just looking for a penpal. Bonus if you have interests, hobbies, and generally still have lots of fun in life (not just this). About me: I’m a married mom, not looking to change any of that. Working professional, animal lover, athlete, world traveler. OPSEC is very important to me. I have high standards and hope you do, too. Reach out if you’re interested!

I am only looking for uncut guys. You must be shaved too. Prefer if you’re attached as well, but it’s not a dealbreaker. Also prefer younger than me(I’m a bit of a cougar). I’m also a bit of a size queen.

Message me with your age, stats, if you’re uncut or cut, si gel or attached, pics etc. I get a lot of messaged with “hey”.

I’m 33, attached with a bf, white, curvy/chubby, some tattoos, 5ft8in. I’m in Toronto but I do travel for work sometimes. Often in Montreal.

I’m picky but not in a stuck up way… I just truly know what I want. I’ve found it a couple times with a few too many heartbreaks but that’s the nature of this, isn’t it?

I want the tension, teasing and banter but I also want to find someone to connect with… really connect. A man who can match energy and not just ask for pictures. You don’t take yourself too seriously, you can laugh at yourself, talk about real life and make me blush before breakfast.
You understand that attraction and chemistry get hotter when there’s trust, consistency and connection behind it.
You’re around my age, handsome but not perfect, you genuinely love women, all that we have to offer…our minds, humor, softness, sharpness, affection, ambition, chaos, opinions, stories…. Not just the parts you sexualize.

I can be a little trouble in the best way but I’m also thoughtful, attentive, and dangerously good at making someone feel seen and wanted.
I’m feminine and sweet, I put effort in every day and I care about my appearance. I love showing off and sharing with the right man.

Exchanging pics is necessary.
No expectations.
I’m fun and easy to get along with.

Soooo with all that being said, no newbies. Ya’ll are cute and all but usually confused about what you’re doin here and unsure how to compartmentalize.

If you’re craving excitement and just a bit MORE, let’s talk

I’ve been lurking, chatting, posting, getting ignored, getting rejected, making genuine connections, and watching hundreds of conversations play out. These aren’t observations about men or women specifically. They seem to apply across genders, ages, orientations, marriage lengths, and experience levels including me at times. If you’ve spent any amount of time here, you’ve probably noticed some of the same patterns.

1. Affairs are still relationships.

Some of you seem to think an affair is DoorDash.

You don’t just place an order, wait 30 minutes, and expect emotional intimacy to arrive.

You still have to put effort into your ad, ask questions, remember things they told you, and occasionally type more than “lol.”

2. Attraction matters.

Can we stop pretending it doesn’t?

Nobody is everyone’s type, and that’s perfectly okay.

Also, your mirror and your confidence should probably be on speaking terms. Some of you oversell yourselves. Some of you undersell yourselves. Reality usually lives somewhere in the middle.

3. Rejection isn’t a hate crime.

You’re not going to be everyone’s person.

Good.

That means you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not just to keep them interested.

4. This is an audition, not an interview.

Stop trying to answer every question with the “correct” response.

Just be yourself.

If the real you isn’t enough, the fake you definitely won’t survive six months.

5. Conversation is the foreplay.

“What are your hobbies?”

“Music.”

“What kind?”

“Everything.”

“…”

Listen, I’m trying to build chemistry, not interrogate a hostile witness.

6. Emotional maturity is weirdly attractive.

Know what you need.

Know what you offer.

Communicate like an adult.

Accept rejection without writing a manifesto.

It’s amazing how rare this apparently is.

7. Relationships are reciprocal.

Everyone shows up with needs.

The successful ones eventually realize they also have to meet someone else’s.

Funny how that works.

8. Stop looking for your mythical perfect married soulmate.

Some of you reject everyone.

Others fall for the first person who says “Good morning 😊.”

The sweet spot is probably somewhere between “I’ll take anyone” and “I’m holding out for a married Scarlett Johansson who also loves my niche hobby.”

9. OPSEC isn’t optional.

If your operational security plan is “Hopefully nobody notices,” you may want to revisit the syllabus.

10. Become someone you’d actually want to date.

Read.

Work out.

Sleep.

Develop passions.

Learn to tell a good story.

An interesting life is surprisingly attractive.

Who knew?

11. Most people aren’t just missing sex.

They’re missing being understood.

Feeling chosen.

Feeling heard.

Feeling safe enough to be vulnerable.

Those things usually take longer than exchanging pictures on Day Two.

12. Nobody here can read your mind.

You’ve been married to someone for years.

They haven’t been married to you.

Use your words.

It’s one of the most underrated relationship skills on Reddit.

Maybe I’m wrong.

But after spending enough time here, I’ve realized the people who seem happiest aren’t necessarily the funniest, hottest, or smoothest.

They’re the ones who consistently make the other person feel seen, heard, desired, and safe.

Turns out, even secret relationships still require relationship skills.

I’m looking for the person who’s sitting there reading this thinking, “Holy shit… this is exactly how I feel.”

Maybe you feel stuck in your marriage. Maybe you have a good spouse, but somewhere along the way you’ve become roommates instead of partners. Maybe you feel unseen. Maybe you’re carrying around a kind of loneliness that’s really hard to explain unless you’ve lived it yourself.

That’s where I’m at.

I have a great husband, and I’d say I have a good marriage overall. But over time we’ve become two different people, and the connection that used to be there just… isn’t. I’m not looking to blow up anyone’s life, and I’m not asking you to either. I’m just looking for that spark that’s been missing.

I want someone who gets excited to hear from me, and someone I get excited to hear from. I want the random good morning texts, the “you won’t believe what happened today” stories, the flirting, the laughing, the deep conversations, and even the naughty ones too. I want someone I can tell everythingggggg to. The good , the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, the exciting and I want that to go both ways. I’m looking for my person.

I’m looking for someone who’s emotionally available, read that again EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE, consistent, and actually wants to build something more than just exchanging some photos or talking about your dead bedroom. Someone who’s curious, open minded, and isn’t afraid to explore parts of themselves they’ve maybe kept hidden. Someone who understands that discretion isn’t optional.

A few things that are pretty non negotiable for me.

* You’re 35 or older.
* You have kids
* 5’11 or taller (I’m a giant)
* You’re white.
* You’re in Texas, Oklahoma, or New Mexico. I’m in North Texas
(If you’re not from this area, but feel like we wouldn’t make a great connection, I may be able to overlook this)
* Andddddd we talk on Telegram. That’s my app of choice, and I really don’t want to move the conversation anywhere else.

A little about me: I’m a busy working mom, so life is chaos mosttttt days. I’m also a plus-size woman ( an SSBBW)so if you don’t know what that means, Google is your friend. I’m confident in who I am, and I’m looking for someone who appreciates that.

My schedule is crazy, but one thing about me is that I make time for the people who matter. If I care about you, you’ll know it. I’ll prioritize you in all the ways you’re probably not being prioritized right now.

If any of this sounds like you, send me a message. Tell me your story. Tell me what you’re missing. Tell me what made you stop scrolling.

Maybe we’re both looking for the same thing.

I'm a professional in my field, married, and a mother.
Here to find something mature and private that can fit into mutually busy schedules.

I'm Ebony / Black American, deeply feminine. Petite. Cat-frame glasses, long dark curls, dark eyes, dark skin. Dark all over.

Home is well-run. A deeply private lover is what I seek outside of it. This would make the most sense with a man who keeps a structured life and takes his time seriously as well.

Logistically speaking, men in PA make the most sense. If PA is on your travel schedule often, we can talk. I married older and prefer men 48+.

I'm not on Reddit often. I'll reply as I'm able.

I’m a kind, flirty, and fun lady who tends to balance the light and the serious at the same time. I bring and value emotional intelligence, a sharp mind, and an active lifestyle. I love music, culture, beaches, and weightlifting. My body type is athletic with curves on top. I’m not a skinny girl but I’m also not plus sized. You may call me fit and thick or mid-sized. I tend to be complimented on both my appearance and my mind. I’m a white collar professional and desire the same. You need to have freedom to chat regularly.

I’m seeking a man aged 35-55 and 5’10 or taller. I’d love to meet a guy who enjoys conversation, laughter, and is anti-MAGA. You need to be reasonably active and have some muscle tone. I tend to like a thicker guy. Being black and/or having a beard earns brownie points.

I connect best with someone who can talk about a little of bit of everything. I miss meaningful conversation and that quiet spark that builds naturally over time. I’m not here for attention from many. I’m looking for one real connection that builds toward an in person friendship. Being able to eventually and regularly meet is important as well.

If this interests you, I’d love to hear from you.