Im a sub/switch and I’ve been meeting this hot dom/switch chav guy for almost 2 months now. We’re both mid 30s and quite new to more structured lifestyle, but had some experiences here and there and normal-ish relationships. In this dynamic I’m 100% sub, he’s 100% dom, but he also has his own dom with what looks like a pleasure dynamic. They’ve been playing for about 1 year, but he considers himself single, the other guy knows that. Also they are pups, I’m not.
Our dynamic is very service, humiliation and obedience oriented. I’m basically his houseboy when at his: cleaning, cooking, tidying up, massaging his feet, sleeping on the floor etc. I’m mostly chaste and usually naked. There isn’t much sex, but almost every interaction feels very dom/sub and I honestly get excited about scrubbing his floors, which makes no sense. Or does it?
He’s respectful of my limits, including some limits which I discovered during our interactions, but pushes on them a bit. That’s all good.
He seems to have a fairly good idea where we’re going despite being quite new. We didn’t discuss in detail how he imagines this in few years (if we last), but he mentioned being in sync and me becoming a true owned slave, while keeping parts of my life (like my work) separate. I like that as a goal and probably we should have this conversation, but…
He’s not very honest with his dom. And if he’s not honest with a playmate of 1 year, then will he be honest with me?
We have a group chat where his dom would sometimes give him orders relating to me, for example to stay locked when I’m around, but then he whips out his dick and facefucks me. Im not complaining, but I don’t like that he acts like a good boy in the group chat, while completely ignoring the commands. He’s quite open about it with me - again, I don’t hate the „secret arrangement” play, but I wouldn’t like to be lied to of I was that dom. Then again, i know little about their dynamic, I only met his dom once and I had a strict protocol to follow, so we didn’t talk. In general I’m not sure how I feel about his involvement, but if I asked, we could probably arrange an out-of-roles meet or just play separately. He did ask me how I’d feel about 3-way hierarchy setup and I said I’m curious to try, I still am.
Recently I was asked to do a deep clean at my doms place when he’ll be serving his dom for a weekend and I’m not sure how I feel about it. I like our interactions and I have urge to serve, but something feels off and deep cleaning of an apartment seems a bit too „I’m taking advantage of my sub” rather than a dynamic. But I also see how it can be hot.
I guess my worry is: I’m getting quickly attached to someone I want to obey deeply, and I’ve been looking for this type of dynamic most of my adult life, but I have a lot of experiences where dom became a dickhead or abandoned me after what I thought was a successful dynamic and plenty of reassurance.
Can someone give me a reality check? What should I do apart from talking, knowing that he may not be fully honest?