r/GayBDSMCommunity

I have been owned by a Dom for a couple of months. Everything was perfect and one time he invited over his friends to an occasion. He laid down what would happen, I agreed to everything and all of it was good. Basically, he put me in a device, which was a stock-like device, where my ankles, wrists and neck were tied down, so I could not move. That is how he opened the door to his friends. For obvious reasons, I could not move, I genuinely believe I was a really good boy and I did not have the chance to say no to anything. That evening he allowed 8 of his friends to fuck me (which I agreed in advance so it was all good). They came either in me or into me and some of them even pissed on me...

What I am confused with is that since that night, he keeps a distance. He always seems to be busy, the occasions we meet became rare. I am not sure whether I did something wrong but I miss him. Is it possible that he sees me differently? What should I have done differently? I would want to make it right a lot. Since then he is calling me a slut which I do not mind as he owns me but he never called me like that. Did I make a mistake?

Please help 🥺

It hasn't been long since I began my journey as a sub top and mutated into something like a human dildo for my partner. He's taking more control of things and I'm glad to hand over the wheel... We've played around with the idea of me being in chastity, and released only when he wanted to use me, and so we did it again. This time it was him who fetched the key and unlocked my chastity cage, it felt really good to know he was taking off my cage for me.

He got me hard and lubed me up, lubed his ass up and rode me until he came hands free. I wasn't close to cumming so we changed position, he had me sit down on the bed and sat on my cock. He got me in like 2 strong strokes, and milked me.

I cleaned up and that was it, but the morning after we discussed trying chastity for a whole week. Bear in mind that I've never been caged for more than 1-2 days, so this is a big leap that I'm taking. But I feel confident. I want to be only his, I want my sperm to be only in him, whenever he wants it. And if he doesn't want it and just wants to use me as his dildo, I'm fine with it.

Anyone had a similar experience?

I'm currently looking for more ideas of things I can have my sub do. For example I like my balls played with so whenever we can his face is in between my thighs lapping up my nuts whether I'm working from home or watching TV. It's a subtle way of reinforcing my dominance by keeping my sperm warm.

I’ve been trying to be a dom for a few years but every time it never felt truly right. I am usually confident in real life so I thought a natural extension of that would be to be a dom. And it did turn me on. But I realized that I was getting turned on by the idea of it happening to me…

I’m finally embracing the fact that I don’t have it in me to be a dom and that I’m a sub. I’m made to serve my eventual owner and be his toy/slave. Has anyone gone through such a realization recently?

Kinda hard to type this out but here we go

I've (39m) been with the boy (30m) for about 2 years, plus husband (42m) for about 7 years. Husband is ace, so sex is very rare and I never minded. Always had high libido and for years cruising and fwbs were more than enough to keep me satisfied

As I started to get deeper into BDSM, I eventually meet the boy and we spend the past 2 years basically experimenting about everything we could learn and imagine. We've read books together, learnt more about which archetypes were more gratifying for each other, and weekly scheduled sessions become the norm

I get to plan sessions, imagine scenes, execute them with precision or unintentional sloppiness, start to improvise and being a Dom has never been so awesome

But about 8 months ago things changed. I'm renovating a new apartment and the stress of it all starts to creep. We keep the weekly sessions, but we lose access to spaces to play. We can't be loud. We can't take long. Still the limitations were interesting since it bred more creativity in our routines.

While all of this is happening, the new year comes, and the boy is getting his life together. New job opportunities, planning for a post grad degree, and this breaks the routine completely. His hours become crazy and suddenly we're just finding windows where we're both free for lunch or a quickie in the car.

And it is still fine. We can still find these moments together and I can get a little bit of it off. Searching for isolated places and late night meeting in parks is fun, while sometimes an audience makes it a little unnerving.

But the past 2 weeks we haven't been able to meet. And I'm feeling horny like I'm 16. I try to park cruise, but the crowd seems different from what I'm used to. Instead of timid almost older guys, is shirtless hunks and twinks with really short shorts. I try the adult cinema, but I pick a weird day and there's practically nobody there. And yesterday I tried the sauna and I just couldn't get into the right mindset

There were a few guys that were just my number, but I didn't feel anything. It didn't turn me on at all.

Maybe I'm looking for a release that is not that simple, but for the first time in a long while I started questioning if this is what that shit from bdsm fiction talk about, getting so sucked in into the lust and pleasure that you need to be choked to cum (don't read Gengoroh Tagame Dissolve) but now it's the opposite, I need to be biting, slapping, choking, punishing, hurting to get off

That's fucked up

I have always been interested in the Master/Slave type dynamic. I found myself to be more submissive to my last boyfriend but it wasnt really his thing, just came naturally. I am wondering how to find guys that I am into for this. I am a bit intimidated by local meet-ups with kink as I am more private with this, but I figure I have to in order to meet people. I haven't really been to a in person meet up i just imagine its very intense people who likely arent my type as they are very public about it.

I love the idea of a very intense one on one connection with a dominant boyfriend or master that is largely in the bedroom and doesnt spill into real life too much except behind closed doors. Do you guys have any opinions, thoughts, suggestions or anything else to advise me on how I might meet someone.

Im also interested in if anyone else was nervous when they started and a bit shy and how they got comfortable going to these type of things. I guess im also afraid if I am not into someone they will be busy or offended.

I’ve been asked to make a presentation about sensation play. Primarily flogging and knife play. It’ll be informational and practical, so as I’m building this presentation I’d like to see what guys are interested in hearing about related to these subjects rather than me coming up with a lot of facts that might be interesting to me and only me. This presentation will be about injecting some skill, art, and knowledge into the community especially for those just starting out so I’m looking for what beginners would want to know and what experienced players would want to ask as well.

That said, what questions do you guys have; what would you like to know or learn about flogging, playing with knives, and general sensation play?

The practical portion will concentrate on artful and skilled use of the tools, and how to use them in conjunction.

I’ll try to actually answer your questions, but I’m at work so I’ll have some stretches of the day when I won’t be glued to my phone.

Thanks to you all in advance.

I typically apply icy hot to my subs cock and balls as a punishment for actual infractions. Talking back disrespect etc. I’ve been using the same bottle for awhile now and I’ve probably administered dozens of punishment using it.

I found out today icy hot expires and basically loses all effectiveness when that happens. I applied some of the bottle to an ache I had and realized nothing happened I then tried applying it to my own balls and same thing nothing.

Every time I apply it to my sub he carries on like his junk is on fire but I’m realizing nothing was happening and he was just acting.

How should I punish him?

Hey, sub guy here who really wants to find a strong dom type but i dont know what im doing, any advice? Where to find, how to act?

Hi all I have a dilemma, I like taking sexy pictures of myself and putting them in my grindr album. However most of my photos are of me in Bondage (Gags, Leash, Handcuffs, etc..) this often leads to people assuming im only a sub when I'm not (Im a switch). So I want to take some photos of me showing my more dominant side aswell but I don't know what to do. It doesn't help that I don't have a big cock so can't just take a photo of that. Any ideas would be much appreciated.

I had a Dom tell me that at a certain point he would want me to get a dog hood and he said “not to be confused with a pup hood.”

Google is not helping me. What on earth is the difference; does anyone know?

My sub has been asking for months for me to whore him out. They week we negotiated terms he’ll be tied face down on the bed with noise canceling headphones and a blindfold on. We’ll have a camera positioned to record the whole thing so he can watch it later.

Before anyone arrives I’ll stretch his hole good and lube him up.

One major term he agreed to was I am allowed to invite anyone no restrictions I was very clear on this and he agreed to it. I think he thinks I’m just gonna throw a couple older daddies on there.

What he doesn’t know is I know his ex and this other dude who he fucking hates. I’m debating inviting both of them because I know it’ll be a mind fuck for him to see the footage.

I’m a bit torn though on whether or not I should invite them. We live in a pretty gay city and he’s pretty attractive so I’m expecting between 10 and 25 to show day of.

I saw a thread talking about the difference between findom and regular dom and didnt really know there was a difference.
Now my understanding is that findom is when the sub is a paypig?
Ive always been turned on by being a bossy bully so having obedient subs is always enough.
Is findom even/ever ethical, or is it just abuse of lonely guys?

I’m happily married, but have been more and more curious about the idea of BDSM things. My partner is pretty vanilla, and is open to me exploring online, but they don’t want to really be involved.

What are some ways to explore things online safely? Are there safer ways to explore that don’t risk me getting exposed? Any good resources?

I've had this fetish for a long time: the fantasy of literally being my owner's property to the point where he can rent me out to others and earn money from me. I'm thrilled by the thought of becoming a profit-generating asset, of being "used" to enrich my owner, and of knowing that my value is measured in financial terms. The problem is, I have no idea how to turn this fantasy into reality. I don't know where to look for a master willing to manage this type of dynamic, someone who truly sees the "commercial" potential in a sub and who has the entrepreneurial mindset to turn me into a source of income. I'm afraid of being judged or of never finding someone who takes this request seriously, and meanwhile this fantasy continues to grow without finding any outlet

Hi everyone,
I’m a [30] year old guy. I had never had real life BDSM experience. I’ve been fantasizing about the lifestyle for mouths and I like to experience this work with trusted and experienced dom/ domme.

What do you think do you believe I can find what I’m looking for ?

I'm 22. I wanna be submissive but i still dont know how to start

Anybody going to Chicago for IML this weekend?

Me (31) and my sub (26) have been together for about 2 years.

I work away from home in the mining industry on an 8:6 roster (8 days on, 6 days off).

We recently started doing permanent chastity and he’s been insatiable when I’ve gotten back from my time away.
The build up is ideal for me aha but he’s been struggling.

The issue is he’s been waking up from his hard-ons against the cage. Progressively more and more as my 8 days away goes on.
When he’s been freshly fucked he seems to manage better. We discussed maybe getting him some toys to get him through the week that I’m away.

Thoughts included a prostate vibrator, a dildo from the shop, or making a clone a Willy.

I wanted to get some opinions on the best way to proceed and whether there’s alternative options for helping him sleep through the night.