u/ArcaneAddiction

Edit: I only do voice/video, no text unless it's just for teasing and whatnot.

Hi, I'm 38F. I've been in the hypno scene as a subject since 2010.

I'm kind of obsessed right now with finding someone who has experience with NLP/conversational/covert methods.

I'm not just looking for covert inductions. I want someone capable of subtle manipulations outside trance. For instance, having a completely awake conversation and finding myself aroused or feeling extra submissive and not quite knowing why.

Or becoming reactive to words/phrases that were never set up as triggers, just anchored through conversation. And maybe even having my behaviors slowly change over multiple conversations without recognizing the suggestions as suggestions. I also love subtle emotional manipulation.

I realize I'm kind of looking for a unicorn, lol. But I've met people capable of this before, so I know what I'm looking for exists.

Before anyone messages me, please be aware that I am owned already (I have permission to play with other 'tists). So a Master/slave dynamic is not a possibility. I do have a long leash outside that, though.

So yeah. If my unicorn is out there, please feel free to send me a message. However, I don't do hypno with anyone under the age of 28. Thanks for reading!

Hi, I've had an online Master/slave relationship based around erotic hypnosis for three years. I just ended it today.

The first year or so was... perfect. Or at least it felt perfect. I couldn't have asked for more. But I was deluding myself even then, as in reality, he was never the type of Dominant I needed on a base level.

The play was amazing, the hypnosis was amazing, the way I felt when I was around him was amazing... but as people, outside of the sexual dynamic, we weren't close. I loved him, but I was very aware that I knew relatively little about him, and he knew even less about me.

I tried. So goddamn hard. I asked him questions all the time, trying to really know him. I tried to make it clear that he was important to me and I wanted him for him, not just the D/s stuff. But his reponses were always so flat and short. Like he couldn't even recognize why I might ask him about himself.

It was the same with him knowing me, but it felt so much worse. In three years, I could count on one hand the number of times he asked me about anything from my past. And when I realized he wasn't asking, I started volunteering. Dropping random factoids or stories from my life in a sad attempt to get him to actually *see me.* the most impressive response I EVER got was, "Huh. I didn't know that."

After the first year-ish, he started having less and less time for me, more and more excuses as to why, and a clear but unspoken expectation that I was supposed to take whatever crumbs he gave me and shut up about it.

Any time I tried to bring up that a 20 minute trance session two or three times a week (sometimes even doing nothing for weeks at a time) wasn't enough, I was made out to be the bad guy. The impatient one, the one unempathetic to his situation, his difficulties, his responsibilities. I was unreasonable, expecting too much, too needy. He never used those words exactly, but that is how I walked away feeling every time.

So I stopped trying to address it. I did what he wanted and shut up about it. I put everything I could into finding out how to make him happy, how to navigate his foul moods and help him feel better, and how to make him actually see me instead of see through me. Nothing worked. He remained so maddeningly passive and flat with me.

I can also count one one hand the number of times he's complimented me or made me feel like I was worth something to him.

Anyway. Lately, I've started to outright resent him and the way he treats me. And it finally dawned on me a few days ago that unless he made an effort to change, the relationship had no reason to continue. So we spoke about it today.

I explained how I had been feeling and why, and asked questions about each issue and asked if it was something he could attempt to improve/change. The answer was a simple, brutal "no" each time.

He just didn't care enough to try. That's the entire thing in one sentence. He just. didn't. care. I gave him so many fucking chances, and he pissed on every one.

So it's over. I guess it should have been over for a long time. This hurts like a bitch, but at the same time, I have hope for the first time in two years. Hope that I'll meet someone who can be what I need and actually *want* what I can give him.

As a sub, I have so much to give and really, it's all I want: to give of myself and actually know that the Dom can recognize and receive it. And maybe he'll fill my cup a little in return. Maybe he'll see something worthwhile in me.

Right now, though, every part of me just hurts. It had to happen, but boy does it suck. Anyway, I'm done ranting. If anyone read this far, I'd be shocked. But if anyone has any advice on how to process this in a healthy way, or can commisserate with their own tales of woe, I'd appreciate that so much. Thank you for listening.