u/AshandMattAfterDark

and it accidentally turned into relationship data 😂

Alright I’m genuinely curious if we’re the only ones like this or if more couples just aren’t admitting it…

So Matt and I have tracked our sex life for ~5 years (yes… full spreadsheet energy 🙈). It started as a joke and slowly turned into “wait… this is actually telling us something.”

Here’s what we’ve learned:

3x per week is our sweet spot.

When we’re there consistently, everything just feels better. More connected, more playful, less edge to us.

4+ days without sex = we get snippy.

Not explosive… just that low-level “why are you breathing like that?” energy over nothing. It’s real.

Consistency > intensity.

Our best stretches aren’t wild spikes… they’re steady, predictable connection.

Our lowest year was 112 times (about 2x/week)… aka 2020 😅

Which honestly tracks. The world was on fire, everyone was stressed, and apparently that included our bedroom. Still not terrible, but definitely our “we’re just surviving” era.

Our highest year was 240 times (~4.6/week… basically 5x/week 👀**)**

And yes… that number is absolutely inflated by one ridiculous run…

We once went 60 days straight.

December ‘21 → February ‘22. No breaks. No off days. Honestly… I don’t even know who we were during that stretch 😂

Fun? Yes. Sustainable? Absolutely not. But it definitely juiced the annual stats lol.

Adding other partners (late ‘24 into ‘25) didn’t replace anything—it reinforced it.

If anything, it made us realize how important our connection is first.

If we’re off, everything else feels off. If we’re solid, everything else just layers on top in a fun way.

Tracking removes the guesswork.

Before this it was always:

“I feel like it’s been forever”

“…it’s been 3 days.”

Now it’s just data. No drama. Which weirdly avoids unnecessary tension.

Big takeaway:

Sex in a long-term relationship isn’t just sex… it’s maintenance.

When we neglect it, things get creaky. When we stay consistent, everything runs smoother.

Not saying everyone needs a spreadsheet (please don’t all become us 😂)… but knowing your rhythm matters way more than we realized.

Curious where other people land:

Do you have a “minimum” where your relationship just feels better?

Do you notice the tension build if you go too long?

Or are we insane and turning sex into a KPI like total weirdos?

💋 Ash

MF4M [Philly] experienced couple seeking single male for stag/vixen or hotwife dynamic. Please read all of post for details. Aged 28-45. Attractive, fit and tall. 6’ and over 6” preferred. Additional details on what we are looking for in pinned post on profile.

MF4M [Philly] experienced couple seeking single male for stag/vixen or hotwife dynamic. Please read all of post for details. Aged 28-45. Attractive, fit and tall. 6’ and over 6” preferred.