I (F29) am scared of my husband (M42) and it turns me on
My husband is a Navy vet with chronic pain and PTSD. Frankly, my family doesn’t like him because of how he has been physically intimidating in the past. But the truth is, I find his overbearingness so sexy in bed. He is possessive and greedy, often taking what he wants in my sleep. If I brush him off or try to push him away, he often just pins me down. Unfortunately, because of my past, I find it such an unbelievable turn on. The one time I genuinely didn’t want it, I ended up cumming so hard that I still think about it. We’re separated right now, because of his anger issues, but yesterday I went back to sleep with him because honestly I am weak. I know the relationship is toxic sometimes, but I am so addicted to the forceful sex. During the make up sex, he grabbed my face and leaned in while destroying me from behind and whispered that he would never let me go. In that moment, I felt like my body wouldn’t ever let me leave him because it belongs to him. I have never felt so owned before, and it’s conflicting as hell.