u/Available_Arrival823

I’ve been seeing a guy I really like for about two months, and we’re getting close to becoming intimate. I trust him, which is rare for me after an emotionally and sexually abusive past relationship.

He knows I’ve had a bad relationship before, but he doesn’t know the full extent of my trauma. Sex is a really sensitive thing for me, and I know I’ll need patience, gentleness, and reassurance.

We also have a 20-year age gap (he’s 50), so I don’t really know what to expect emotionally either.

When is the right time to bring this up? Before sex, during the conversation leading up to it, or only if something triggers me?

I’ve posted here before about a guy I really like. We have about a 20-year age difference. He’s divorced, has shared custody of his kids, and a very busy job. We don’t get to spend a ton of time together, but I genuinely like him and feel very connected to him.

Tomorrow is going to be our fifth date. We haven’t been intimate yet, but it seems like things are naturally moving in that direction. Before that happens, I kind of want to understand better where his head is at and what I should be paying attention to.

For people who dated divorced men with kids and busy lives what questions would you ask at this stage? Especially considering I don’t have kids myself and our lifestyles are pretty different.

I’m not trying to pressure him or have a huge “what are we” conversation, just trying to understand if this situation realistically has potential long term.

I’m 32 and have been talking to a 52-year-old divorced man with shared custody of his kids (12 and 10). He has a very demanding job, a busy schedule, and obviously his kids take a lot of his time too.

I really like him and we have a lot in common, but I’m struggling to understand if this pace is normal or if he’s just not that into me. We haven’t been intimate yet. We’ve had 4 dates total over 6 weeks, usually lasting about 3–4 hours before he has to leave.

He also doesn’t text much. We can go days, sometimes close to a week, without talking unless I reach out first to check in. I started matching his energy (“mirror method”) because I felt like I was putting in more effort than he was.

What confuses me is that when we are together, things feel good and genuine. But in between dates, I honestly feel uncertain and disconnected. I stopped talking to other men because I like him, but now I’m wondering if I’m investing emotionally into someone who just doesn’t have enough interest or bandwidth for a relationship.

For men around his age especially divorced dads with demanding careers is this actually a normal dating pace? If you really liked a woman after 6 weeks, would you be trying harder to see her and communicate more, even with a busy life? Or is this level of inconsistency usually a sign of low interest?