r/AgeGap

My husband and I have been together 15 years. We have a very hot and healthy sex life now after some fine tuning and opening up. Both of us are exploring the idea of sleeping with other women. Which I actually suggested.

I unconventionally think it's very hot when other girls are interested in my husband. I feel like I'm a female cuck or something. I literally don't know where else to ask this very specific NSFW question.

Has anyone else ever opened their relationship up with their age gap partner (younger female older male?). How did it go? What advice can you share?

We are taking things slow but things are also getting very heated. I am super open and very confident and comfortable/not jealous person. My husband is very devoted but I also enjoy a submissive roll. Basically we enjoy pleasing each other more than anyone else. So I am seriously not concerned about him "falling" for someone else.

However I am the TINEST bit concerned someone might fall for him. He's very (IMO) handsome, put together, and to ME he's perfect. Again, that's my not so humble opinion. I'm concerned from a functional POV not a jealously one. It's usually younger women that are interested like my age or slightly younger 18-30. Just looking for some help navigating from someone who has experience.

But he does have girls flirt with him constantly.

My husband of course loves this idea lmfao. But really seriously wants to take it slow as neither one of us want to blow anything up. We totally trust one another but you cannot control what others feel/think.

I’ve (24f) been in a sexual relationship (62m) with this man for a few months, but we’ve known each other for 3 years before I initiated a relationship. I am planning on moving 7 hour drive away from our hometown in 2 months. I’ve been very open about this, but as the relationship progresses I’m worried because I really do love being with him. I’m moving for school, with no plans to change this. I am getting attached to him because we’ve been seeing each other twice a week and spending so much time together, it feels wrong to walk away from it because I’m going to miss it so bad.

Have you ever made a relationship with large age gap work long-distance? I would be returning to our city for holidays and maybe summer

As someone in an age gap relationship with someone 11 years older I would like to talk about something..

We all know that age isn’t a humongous issue in relationships and it’s more about the generational gap, how well you get along and the values you both have, is your SO mentally older or younger than their actual age as well as other things. However, I have some concerns about how there are men/woman who are 40+ initiating a relationship with persons of 17**(they met when the said person was a minor)**-18 (began dating when they were of age). Knowingly in most states 16+ is the age of consent but just because that is true doesn’t mean you should follow through with it when you’re a fully developed adult.

Yes the relationship may be cute, romantic, built on trust, consented to but that doesn’t make it right. You’re taking advantage of someone who is at the BEGINNING of realizing what they want. Potentially someone who has unresolved traumas, daddy/mommy issues or a broken home life etc. I wish our subreddit would take into consideration that 18/50, 18/45, 18/60 isn’t normal.

I don’t care if you disagree with me but I just want you to truly think about it.

First time posting on this subreddit, simply looking for advice. For some background, I’m in a partially long-distance, age gap relationship (as expected).* We met online in an 18+, fandom-focused groupchat as we had a handful of mutual friends. After a few weeks of chatting, we met up in person and later decided the feeling was mutual.

This (meaning the romantic portion, we first started speaking in November 2025) has been ongoing since earlier this year, and as my partner and I continue to migrate from our honeymoon phase and learn more about each other, there are certain disparities we’d like to address. Regardless of whether these disparities have made themselves clear, the age gap will naturally be apparent to both of us inevitably, and we’d like to find ways to address them as they come. The concern is not the why, but the how, if we want to continue this relationship in a mutually beneficial, sustainable and most importantly healthy way.

A conversation we keep returning to is where the numbers fall. We’re both two consenting adults, yes, but our 7-year age gap looks different than it would on, say, a 33-year-old and a 40-year-old.

While we’re both currently working and live on our own, pay our own bills and have our respective short and long-term goals, he makes significantly more than me at a respectable position, whereas I’ve gone from an equally significant healthcare position to a part-time, entry-level barista gig in recent years (I live in Canada, and the job market is awful. Finding work after I relocated was both a challenge and a chore, on top of finding time to attend university full-time).

This opens doors for certain expenses (flights to see me, hotels, departure taxes) to naturally fall on him, which can create a non-negligible power imbalance. I try to address this appropriately by covering all food/other travel expenses because, irrespective to any of my protests, he’d prefer I not cover anything too costly. He never exercises his disposable income over me, just stubborn, but I make it a point to still set boundaries if I find his actions or behaviours disagreeable, which is not often.

Then there’s the natural social distance between us caused by our age gap (not so much maturity-based as we both meet EQ expectations) There are certain life experiences I don’t have the full scope on as they come naturally with time, and while that doesn’t make itself too apparent largely, it does make “have you ever done/experienced/seen/etc. x?” conversations tense at times, because my responses are based on how bad of a person they make him feel (he struggles with moral-focused OCD). That, again, is entirely his issue to manage and I offer support while standing a considerable metaphorical distance away so we don’t fall into codependency, or I feel he’s something I have to “fix.”

There’s also something close to a self-fulfilling prophecy he’s been executing as of late, where he’ll ask me if I’m sure I know what I’m talking about because I couldn’t possibly (even when it’s clear that I do—with evidence) Despite him knowing this is detrimental to our relationship and sets himself up to see me differently, he struggles to stop doing it.

Among other things, there’s also the issues of having little overlap in our social circles, career experience, and support systems. I have one, he doesn’t, so he’s not sure if he’s ever doing the “right thing”. I tell him that age gap relationships are not inherently good or bad, but a neutral decision with positive or negative consequences based on action or inaction. This is sometimes well-received, and sometimes not.

The way I’ve tried going about this in practice so far is ensuring I have a large network around me, people of varying age who know me, to offer their perspectives and opinions. I agree with him that he can’t take everything I say as word of God (a little condescending, but understandable), but I also can’t do that with everything he says, so I have to consult people who are not either one of us at times. This, however, can over-involve people in our relationship, and I’d like to find ways for myself and my partner to address these disparities ourselves.

For those of you in support of age gap relationships or try to remain neutral, what would you do/have you done/tried to do if disparities like this made themselves apparent? We’re fundamentally different people at different points in our lives, but that doesn’t necessarily change our ability to work around that in some respects, and certainly doesn’t change our affections for each other.

Thanks for reading if you got this far.

*For reference, I am 19FTM, partner is 26, also FTM.

I recently ended a 4-year relationship with a woman who was 21 years younger than me. Since then, I've been reflecting on why most of my relationships and mutual attraction have been with younger women rather than women my own age.
I'm curious whether others have noticed similar patterns. Do you think it's more about personality, lifestyle, appearance, confidence, shared interests, or something else? For those in age-gap relationships, what do you think initially made you or your partner open to dating someone significantly older or younger?
I'm interested in hearing different perspectives and experiences.

I’m trying to some objective perspective on a situation I’ve been struggling with. I’ve been in a long-distance relationship with an older man I met online. We had been texting consistently for a while, and I truly felt like we had fallen in love and established a real relationship. About a month ago, he suddenly stopped texting me entirely. There was no argument, no we need to talk, and no explanation just complete radio silence. It’s been four weeks now, and I’m caught between wanting to hold out hope that something major happened or that he’s just overwhelmed and the painful reality that this might be a permanent ghosting. Given the nature of online-only/long-distance dynamics, how should I handle this? Is there a point where I need to accept this as an ending, or is there a standard protocol for when an older partner goes silent like this? I’m finding it hard to get closure when I don’t even know if he’s okay, but I also don't want to be the person chasing someone who has clearly checked out. Any advice or similar experiences would be really appreciated

I attract guys 7-10 years older than me then it just doesn’t progress anywhere I will send screenshots please lmk what I am doing wrong

After a night out, i(19)had a one night stand with a guy (48) and after that we started chatting. I dont usually do one night stands but i rly liked this guy, until now.

I got a dm from some woman that i dont know, we didnt even had any shared friends, her text was just straight forward “ STOP FUCKING MY HUSBAND”, it took me good 10 min to understand that am a fucking home wrecker, her profile pic was her and three kids(i assume his) and in her bio was his initial.
My whole life i was against cheating and here i am.
I cant even look at the mirror even tho i know that am not guilty for anything bc i didnt knew, but still i feel sick to my stomach

She was working at a local Cafe as a barista I go to sometimes. She was new worker there, and I thought she was about 21. Through our small talk she said she is turning 20 soon - in August. I wasn't too far off, we had good chemistry and she was cute. After seeing her a couple more times I asked her out.

During the date it was definitely a good time. We had a lot of banter and fun. As I dropped her off at her complex she admitted to me that she was actually 17 and turning 18.

That's a short excerpt of what happened. She lied to me about her age because she thought I wouldn't continue talking to her if I really knew.

Why did she lie. Lying is one thing i hate. **IF** I did continue talking to her, starting off with this bad foot is a bad sign in my book.

I’m in Toronto and I was wondering where/how do I find genuine older women who are interested in younger guys?

I (22F) went on a first date 2 weeks ago with somebody (33M) I met on a dating app. We were open minded to the age gap (though neither of us have ever experienced something like this). Our first and second dates were great, we’re super attracted to each other but throughout the first date we kept circling back to the age gap. When I got home I started looking on age gap TikToks and forums and I’ve seen a few older women advise against it at my age (under 28). I’m a little nervous and don’t want to be naïve/ manipulated but I really enjoy spending time with him. He seems super intentional and it feels like he sees me in his life long term. Our next date is in 2 days and I really need clarity before I get too attached. Any advice?

I’m 21 and this started at my dad’s company party. His business partner, Raj, is 48 and has known my family for years. We ended up talking alone for a while and he was very charming and direct. He gave me his number and told me to text him if I ever wanted to “talk properly.”

A week later I texted him. We met for coffee and then he took me to his apartment. The first time we had sex I was really nervous because of the age gap and because of who he is to my dad. But he was very patient and dominant in a calm way. He made me feel safe but also completely controlled.

Since then we’ve been meeting once or twice a week at his place or in hotels. He likes when I call him “Sir” and he’s very rough once we start. He always cums inside me and makes me stay still after so it doesn’t leak out. He’s also started buying me things and giving me money without me asking.

I know how fucked up this is. If my dad ever found out he would lose his mind. But I can’t stop. The age difference and the secrecy make it so much hotter than anything I’ve had with guys my age.

I’m 22 and this happened two weeks ago. I was coming home from a night out and my Uber driver was a man in his late 40s. He was quiet at first but we started talking and he was actually really funny and confident. When we reached my building he didn’t end the ride immediately. We just sat in the car talking for almost 20 minutes.

He eventually asked if I wanted to go grab a drink somewhere. I knew it was a bad idea but I said yes. We ended up at his apartment instead. He was very straightforward — he told me he wanted to fuck me and asked if I was okay with older men. I was drunk and horny so I said yes.

He fucked me really well. Slow and deep at first, then much rougher. He kept telling me how tight and young I felt compared to women his age. I ended up staying the night and he fucked me again in the morning before driving me home.

We’ve met two more times since then. He’s very dominant and a little degrading in bed but also weirdly caring after. I know this probably won’t turn into anything serious, but right now I’m enjoying it too much to stop.

Okay so, I see age gaps of 10-15yrs but I’m unsure on the 20yr age gap, has anyone seen or experienced this before?

He’s extremely sweet and caring! Makes me laugh and I find him very attractive, I’ve also never been with an older guy before until now but admittedly, I’ve always been attracted to older men.

Any thoughts on daddy issues or trauma playing a part are invited as well because I’m also considering if this is ‘healthy’ or not.

But if we’re happy then is it really an issue?
Idk I’m unsure and sometimes pull away with this thought

Thanks for your help! Xx

I (24F) have never seen my freak matched like this. Is this normal? What did I do to deserve this? I didn't realize older men have libidos of 20-somethings. 😂

I met him just last weekend and we used over 20 condoms (Yes, 20!) within that day and a half date (I ended up spending the night:))! He is taking me out for my birthday today also and I am soooo excited. He is just soooo sweet to me. Ugh! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

This past year dating older has been very insightful and interesting. How are your experiences going? Anything you've noticed about them or yourself or like to share?

Happy Fourth, everyone! 😇🎆🎇

He’s the sexiest man alive. Together almost six years, married for almost one. I grew up in a really dysfunctional environment. It’s so wonderful to have such a peaceful, happy life with him.

m 21F with my partner who is 43M and we are both very happy in our relationship. I was the one who chose to pursue the relationship and we have discussed the problems that arise with age gaps countless of times. He has made it clear that if I ever feel uncomfortable, I can leave and he will understand completely. We have a good relationship.

As much as I love our relationship and I wouldn't trade him for the world, I agree that age gaps should be looked down upon and be considered weird. Our relationship is very unconventional, weird, and could possibly be unintentionally dangerous for me. I would be concerned if my younger brother or sister entered a relationship with someone 20 years older. I would never want AGRs to be normalised because it's important that younger people recognise the risks and dangers that come with them, and listen to their family and friend's concerns. I also think older people need to have a degree of responsibility when entering a relationship with someone younger. Communicate with your partner, or just don't enter the relationship at all

HOWEVER what I dislike is when people infantilse the younger person in an AGR (this usually only happens with women). Yes, adults can be manipulated/abused and young people in a relationship with someone older are at risk, but an adult is completely capable of choosing their partner. I am working towards my degree and I have a decent job and I can drive, I can make my own choices even if those choices hurt me in the long run.  And people forget about the young women who are with older men purely for financial reasons. Not to mention the amount of young men who are abusive, it's not just middle aged men.

It's sort of frustrating because a lot of people use this point to encourage middle aged men to date barely legal adults, which I think is gross. I am in support of adult women having agency, not middle aged men purposely going for younger women because they want a hot body. 

I support AGRs but I also think they should not be normalised. older people should be responsible and cautious around younger people and younger people should know the risks around age gaps. Does this make sense?

I found her. Well she found me
It’s been a month and I’m on heaven. She’s 18. I’m 44. The most gorgeous little thing.
Love to spoil her.
Never thought I would find her but it happened. Sucks the distance but tak everyday so it’s going greTb

I feel like this is a question that needs to settled on a broader scale. Because either someone 18 or older has the ability to choose who they date, in which case the public should leave them alone OR we need to decide on a different age that women are responsible for their choices.

I genuinely don't understand how society touts that women are equal or better than men. Smart and independent, women have the right to do or be anything they want with their life and body.... except if they date a man who's significantly older.

If they date an older man, than that woman is incapable of making her own choices and decision. Obviously that man has beguiled her! She doesn't know what that wicked old man is up to. And he must be a perverted creep! Let's save the poor helpless 23 YEAR OLD GROWN A$$ WOMEN?

It's something I can never wrap my head around. In fairness and honesty, I do side eye when a 18 or 19 year old is dating someone in their 40s but ultimately she's an adult and responsible for her choices. But from 20 onwards I genuinely do not understand why other women don't trust other women to choose who their partner is.

Because if a legal adult woman can't make the right choices about who they date, should they be able to drink, vote, or drive? How long should a woman have her choices monitored so she doesn't get bamboozled? When is she capable or smart enough to be responsible for ALL her decisions?

Is 18 too young for women? Should it be 19, or 25?

Just annoys me to see the double standard of "women are amazing at everything and better than men at everything, but also we can't let women be accountable for some of their choices."

I can’t believe I’m writing this here, but I’m curious to hear a different perspective.
Besides studying, I work part time at a cafe. I work morning shifts, I don’t look my best that early, and above all, it isn’t intellectually stimulating work. Anyway ridiculously handsome man comes into this cafe almost every day. I think he’s around 40, while I’m about 20. Objectively speaking, he’s much more attractive than I am. He comes in, orders, and leaves.
Sometimes I wonder if I should strike up a conversation with him, but I don’t want to come across as pushy. So my question is: would talking to him be unprofessional? I really doubt he’d be interested.
I’m posting here because I’d like to hear a male perspective. Would that kind of behavior be awkward or uncomfortable? Are there any couples here who met under similar circumstances?