r/AgeGap

Just wonder if a lot of AGR stayed as sugar dating

I (22f) cannot possibly be more head over heels in love with my husband (39m) and we have happily been together for 4 years. But lately it’s really hitting me that the 17 year gap means I will have to spent a good two decades, if not more, without him by my side. I know lost couples probably consider who will go first after a long, decades long marriage, and I’m incredibly sad that I will probably only get 30, 35 years with my man, which does not feel like long enough, and I don’t even have the comfort of telling myself once he passes, I won’t be far behind him, because I will be in my 50s/60s most likely. I never thought I’d be so upset at the idea of myself getting to live into my 70s and 80s.

We already have one child together, and have been trying for another, so I know I won’t be completely without my family that we have created, and I’ll always be able to see him in our daughter as she is his TWIN. But it still isn’t the same as growing old with each other.

Any advice on how to cope with this anxiety?

I've had a few age-gap relationships. I'm currently 20, and my partner is 40. Things are going well, and we have a healthy relationship.

However, as someone who has dated younger men, same age, and older, I wish someone had told me this when I was younger.

So if you're a young woman, between 18 and 25, and you're dating an older man, not casually, but with the serious intention of building a future together, ask yourself, "Would he still love me and be with me if I were his age?"

This would save me a lot of worry about dating guys who are only with me because of my age. I never look at age when dating, and I don't want my partner to worry about whether I'm younger, the same age, or older. We're all different ages. It's inevitable.

You deserve a partner who loves you not for your age, but for the person you are. Age difference or not. ❤️

Edit: These comments really didn't pass the vibe test. If you want a younger woman as a status symbol or a sugar daddy, that's fine, and I have no problem with that, as long as people are honest with each other about their intentions. My post was about women in age-gap relationships who want to be with that person forever.

how high/low of ages do you guys consider when trying to find someone. I am curious because I am young and getting into this.

Hey guys I’m in an age gap relationship 21yo F and 60 yo M. Does anyone else have a similar age gap?

Hello! i(20f) recently started seeing someone(35m), but i am not sure how to go about eventually telling my parents about our relationship as i still live with them. any experience or advice?

I’ve been seeing a guy I really like for about two months, and we’re getting close to becoming intimate. I trust him, which is rare for me after an emotionally and sexually abusive past relationship.

He knows I’ve had a bad relationship before, but he doesn’t know the full extent of my trauma. Sex is a really sensitive thing for me, and I know I’ll need patience, gentleness, and reassurance.

We also have a 20-year age gap (he’s 50), so I don’t really know what to expect emotionally either.

When is the right time to bring this up? Before sex, during the conversation leading up to it, or only if something triggers me?

So i've been seeing this younger woman for the past few months. She matches me really well. Her feminine side is a solid match to my masculinity. She is direct and honest but gentle and open. I'm experiencing some of the best sex of my life. I've never been anything but monogamous in my relationships and was not really interested in open relationship dynamics. There are just a lot of moving parts and it feels like it'd be a full time job. Yet, I have an interest in having one other confidential friends-with-benefits type relationship with another woman.

My own sense is that i'm not trying to open the relationship because there is something wrong with the woman i'm seeing. It just feels like more of an acknowledgement that I want to continue to explore with one other woman. I'd like to figure out if i'm built that way or not.

I wrote about it in my blog, but I wanted to see who is in an age gap relationship that's open and how are you managing it? What kind of issues are you encountering most? Did you experiment with open relationships and decide it wasn't for you? Why?

Im a college girl and honestly for the past couple years I've only dated girls or looked for girls, I recently got out of a relationship with a guy my age and it really made me want an older man,IV always really liked older men but didn't think to explore it untile I turned 18,I met this guy on an app and he's 32 he's soooo attractive and I literally fantazise Abt him all the time he's super sweet and easy to talk to,we've have sexual conversations like once or twice but he's pretty respectful, the conversation is always good but it kinda seems like he's trying to figure out what to say next but does ALWAYS text back he's never left me on read and attempts to keep the conversation going even out of a sexual setting,is this just how older guys text? Or how do I put in more effort to get his attention?(THIS IS NOT ONLY ABOUT SEX,I MEAN TALKING IN GENERAL)

I'm M18 from Ireland and I can never find an older women who is interested in a relationship, I often get led on and I have only ever had sexual relationships with one older women. Any time I get close they get cold feet and ghost me.

Hi guys. I'm f18, and I've been in a relationship with an older guy (30) for three months now. We are long distance, because he lives in another country. We haven't meet irl yet, but we are planning to, very soon. The thing is - my mom..she would absolutely kill me if she'd find out I'm dating a 30 year old man and that Im about to meet him irl.

What should I do? If he'd visit, he would be here for a few days for sure, so I'd have to go out everyday to hang out with him. I don't want to lie to my mom, but I know how controlling and overprotective she is, and she would NEVER let me meet someone like that.

I don't know what to do..any advice regarding that? 😓

Im 19M living in Europe.

What are the chances of me dating a woman between the ages of 45 and 55?

I've always liked this, even if just as a friend.

I mean it's that possible nowadays knowing my age?

So my classmate asked me out. I’m not sure how to feel because we are in the same phase of our lives. With graduation coming up we’ll both be starting the same career at the same time. But we do have a considerable age gap. And he has a young daughter. I’m just not sure how I feel about this or how the daughter will feel about this. Or even the ex wife. I also don’t want to just be a stereotype.

Update: Trying to figure out where we’re going to go and he suggested a bar… i’m 20… not looking too good.

To make a long story short.I'm a 38-year-old divorced man from India. I work with a colleague who introduced me to his family. I started visiting their house on different occasions and one day he told me his 18-year-old sister really liked me. I was shocked because of my divorce and the massive age gap, but their family already knew I was divorced so I somewhat agreed. We started late-night chatting and phone calls. That's when I learned their family secret — she was sexually abused by her father (who died 2 years ago). She's still traumatized and has developed fetishes/attraction towards older men because of it. Her mom and brother seem to resent her for this and want to keep it secret. It feels like they see me as the trusted guy who can take her off their hands.

Now I'm really confused about how to react or what to do. Is it common for girls who experienced sexual abuse to develop strong attractions or fetishes for older men as a result of the trauma, and given her age, the family dynamics, and everything else, should I even consider moving forward with this or is this situation too complicated and loaded with red flags?

I always dated older guys, but i never went over 42 and idk what to think about me dating a 50yo as a 19yo. We been texting for past 2 weeks and we gone on some dates but in dif city. Idk if i can tell anyone about him bc of the jugment. He also has 2 kids and both of them are older then me so i rly dont know.

Everything is so good about him, he cares, he listens and he is a rly good cook tbh. But am rly afraid of people comments, i know i shouldnt be but a 19yo dating divorced 50yo sounds sus for me even tho i am that 19yo.

I rly like him and i think i will continue to see him but mby he will be my secret.

Girls who are in ur 19/20s how would you deal with this, or guys in their 50

Me 28F and my situation-ship 50M ended things because they were uncomfortable with our age gap. Everything else was fine. He said he liked me a lot which is why he chose to end things, he felt it was getting serious.
It’s been about 4 months of no contact (except for once when I reached out for feedback on a project and they gave me some). That was it.

I have been really horny lately. I don’t have a lot of bodies and I’m also not very comfortable just being intimate with anyone.
I would really like to have sex with him again but i don’t know how to go about it. Or even approach him. I respect his choice but I at the same time we already did it before.

He still watches my stories on instagram. And that’s the only thing we have basically. If we unfollow each other odds of me ever seeing him again are close nul. I’m thinking maybe unfollowing them will help me let go.

So even if I were to reach out before burning the bridge, what do I say to him ?

I've been seeing this man for about three years. Always casual, on agreement. He was my college professor and tutor for my thesis, we started our "thing" a month after I graduated.

We have had some talks about dense things in these three years: about actually dating (sometimes I was against it, sometimes he was), living together (same as with dating), and the traumas that made us bond: he (47) has a daughter one year older than me (I am 29, she's 30) and he always had issues connecting with her, he was forced out of her life when she was a baby and only connected years later, which deeply marked him and tainted that relationship.

On my side, I was abandoned by my dad. At times I saw him, when he was my thesis guide, as a paternal figure. That changed rapidly once I graduated and started working in academia myself: I immediately went to him for advice, he quickly turned down the mentoring role, and the rest is history.

We have, however, admitted to each other that our bond is related to this dynamic.

However, I think after these years I've seen him in different lights. Last December he fell ill, he asked me to help, I took him to get a colonoscopy, I spoke with the doctors, and then when he got sick again in February he once again approached me to help. I drove him to the clinic, caressed him when he cried about feeling vulnerable, while he told me that vulnerability made him unable to connect with anyone, even family.

After that, something broke. He promised we'd do a thing, we didn't, I got upset that he wasn't respecting my times. After I got upset he asked for time apart, then we didn't see each other for a while, then when we met again I had made up my mind: I did want more, I did want to continue being there for him, same as he was with me. I wanted to take that role fully, that also meant existing outside of his place, of his room.

He's been distant ever since. He said he didn't want me depending on him, that I was too young to know what I wanted, that I needed to live more things. He said maybe in the future we could have something, but not now, he couldn't trust that I was being honest with him and to myself.

That was a month ago. He is now not replying to my messages. He has a blog and wrote about us: he thinks our "thing", although beautiful, was illicit, sinful, and that although love was present, it was shrouded in lies.

I don't share that view at all, but it seems it isn't up to discussion. I'm just really sad to feel I could see a man in him, sometimes even a child, and not a father, but that he can only see a daughter in me. I guess this long post is just to hear about other people going through the same, I am not sure where to start healing... I'm not sure what it is that needs healing yet...

Is it alright with me (19F) to have been dating my boyfriend (16M) for the last 4 years coming up on 5 now? Ever since we started dating I've been super stressed about it internally, but the 3 times I've brought it up to him, he tells me it's fine every single time, so I just need to ask yall if it is ok for us to have been doing this?
For clarification as well, we have not had sex yet, as it is not legally allowed for us to do so, and we don't want to seriously break any laws.

If you had to say, how big of an age gap would be too big? Id date any age as long as their above 35, hell even 40. Im 18 and i just wanted to know if yall think that would be concerning or anything, i know i dont find it to be that way, im just curious.

what are some fun hobbies you enjoy with your partner? do you like sharing things of your time with them, things that may not be familiar? i know, im sure i could technically ask this to anyone— but i want to know if theres something unique to a relationship with an age gap!