u/Basic_Bee8826

As someone in an age gap relationship with someone 11 years older I would like to talk about something..

We all know that age isn’t a humongous issue in relationships and it’s more about the generational gap, how well you get along and the values you both have, is your SO mentally older or younger than their actual age as well as other things. However, I have some concerns about how there are men/woman who are 40+ initiating a relationship with persons of 17**(they met when the said person was a minor)**-18 (began dating when they were of age). Knowingly in most states 16+ is the age of consent but just because that is true doesn’t mean you should follow through with it when you’re a fully developed adult.

Yes the relationship may be cute, romantic, built on trust, consented to but that doesn’t make it right. You’re taking advantage of someone who is at the BEGINNING of realizing what they want. Potentially someone who has unresolved traumas, daddy/mommy issues or a broken home life etc. I wish our subreddit would take into consideration that 18/50, 18/45, 18/60 isn’t normal.

I don’t care if you disagree with me but I just want you to truly think about it.

Any signs or experiences yall have?

My boyfriend (30M) hasn’t told his family how old I (19F) truly am yet. His family knows about me and what I look like, I’m close and have met his older sister, his mom asks about me and how I’m doing etc. my family knows about him and his age. I’m not necessarily upset because I’m aware he’s a grown man and doesn’t have to tell family everything, It took me 5 months and knowing we were officially dating for me to explain to my family what his age is. My family is hesitant but they’re still supportive.

Separate occasion: I do know his coworkers/friends know about me as well and he talks shit us. But his friend made a comment about how my boyfriend could lift my boobs in replacement of lifting weights (they’re on the bigger side). He’s laughed about it when he told me and probably even he was at work with them.. an odd situation considering I’m his girlfriend. He has told me that his Friends would probably call him a “perv” but in a joking way not seriously. I’ve had many talks with him about our age gap and he has said everytime how it’s not anything that he’s worried about and thinks nothing of it because it’s not important. I agree with his statement completely but I think family deserves to know at some point.
Apologies this was all over the place.

Not quite sure if I should prompt him to mention it whenever I do end up meeting his family in person.

Taking requests for both (open to anything doable solo!!) Dm me a “hey 🦶” so I know you’re not a bot and I’ll respond with a message and a throne link!

My boyfriend doesn’t dirty talk during sex.. when I give him head or when he is fingering me. He’s just silent however he does moan and say some words like “fuck, shit etc” but that’s really all lol

He does enjoy himself very much so I know it’s not because he isn’t getting any pleasure but it’s kind of just odd when I’m only hearing myself talk or moan majority of the time lol. Sex is bomb asf with him so I’m not Complaining just curious if others experience this

I just feel like I always insert myself into his life. I drive an hour to see him, I ask to see him he just says yes or no, he is tired from work constantly and doesn’t really ever want to go out to eat for a date or do something fun(which I understand). I wanted to go to the cabin and he asked his mom, I asked for a follow up on if we can go or not.. never actually got one. He pushes and pulls with affection, we hardly ever have intercourse.. he’d rather have oral performed on him. I have to ask to have sex with him and it doesn’t happen lol. or he ejaculates knowing I wanted to have sex.. he says sorry after wards and laughs. I told him he should be able to tell me before it happens and I’ll stop, I don’t know his body like he does. I’ve never been bought flowers, I’ve mentioned it but still none. It’s not a big deal it’s just I want to be seen and not feel like I’m holding everything together. And when he cancels our pre-planned hangouts it’s always the day of. We’re dating but I feel like a glorified hookup, it’s breaking my heart.

It’s not all bad we have great moments too. 19f 30m

Curious how everyone has met their other half and at what age! If your partner is deceased feel free to also share as you have a place to do so!

I’ll go first, I met mine through social media and I reached out first calling him handsome then he asked for my number. Our first conversation was actually about how relationships in this society are awful and that we both just want a genuine long lasting one without all the toxicity. Went on a date a few days later and from there on we’ve been inseparable! It’s been a long five months of learning how we both think and growing with eachother. I’m 19 and he’s 30 :)

How would you prefer to have your girlfriend dress an in age gap relations when the women is younger.

- Would you prefer to have them just be themselves
- more sophisticated like blouses
- like they’re younger than you exp: more cleavage showing, shorter shorts, kind of club like without going to the club

I’m not saying women HAVE to dress how their boyfriends say I’m just curious what men prefer when looking for a girlfriend/ how they perceive women who dress more mature or scandalous like.

I F(19) has been seeing M(30) for 5 months now and we’re committed to eachother however he hasn’t asked me out yet and the last time I asked if I could call him my boyfriend he said yes. It felt a bit weird due to the fact a different day I told him I can’t do this for much longer if it’s not going to end up in a long term relationship/dating etc, he said he hadn’t even thought about it like that (dating) due to the fact his toxic ex of 9 years treated him and he’s basically scared to have the word “girlfriend” attached to me. He told me that he knows I’m a completely different person and he’s the most comfortable he’s been with a person. We’re pretty much dating so many things won’t change other than being able to actually say he’s my boyfriend. I like him a lot and we’ve both invested a lot into one another, I know he’s only seeing me and he makes that clear. His job has been really burning him out lately and taking advantage of his time.. he’s doing director/ceo work as a lead. Recently booked us a massage to help his exhaustion and tension. He’s amazing, treats me with respect and makes me feel extremely loved/secure when I’m with and away from him.

I guess I’m just seeking advice on if what I’m doing is the right thing.. Have been thinking lately about calling him my boyfriend to his face and seeing his reaction.. at some point I’ll have to give up if this limbo of not knowing goes on for too long.