Hi everyone! This is my first post and I have been a lurker here. First of all, massive thanks for all the resources you have - they have been a great help.
I (41, F) started talking on Feeld with a handsome man (47, M) who pinged me on the app. I saw on his profile that he is submissive and at some point during our sexting, I was a bit...strict on setting a boundary and he found it hot. So I continued the tone a bit and we both enjoyed it and he asked me if I'd be interested to explore my dominant side with him. I accepted it and he gave me some cues and tips and I was overjoyed at first. We are non-exclusive sexually, its casual.
He is a dad of 2, separated, high-demanding job, high-income. He's been very attentive in person, last time he brought me expensive champagne and food from my country he knew I'd like. No social media but WhatsApp. He said he isn't much of a texter and as a German, paranoid about data privacy. In the app he uses an alias and has a secret profile.
We met up to test in-person chemistry and on the first date it was off the charts but it wasn't up till our second encounter that I introduced Dom play. We played a bit with pain and we had sex and we both enjoyed it a lot. I've sent him naughty tasks and up until last week he's fulfilled them. He even went on a trip with a friend abroad and fulfilled a very explicit and naughty task for me. We have been in touch for almost 3 months.
But other than that...no check-ins from him. No following-up on our lives. He went to that trip from Spain 3 weeks ago and he said he was super busy. I waited a week to send him a task and he didn't fulfill it, even if it was super simple and he apologized and asked me for understanding and that he'd do it as soon as he had some time. I was nice and said yes and hoped that his stress would go away soon.
Now it's been a week since. Whenever I go to raves I wear sexy outfits and I always send him a pic. He hasn't even opened the last one I sent him over a week ago.
I can't help but feel a bit hurt. I know it's casual and it's non-monogamous (I myself go out with other men) but I agreed into this dynamic to explore a side of me where I, for once, in his own words "can be selfish and ruthless and demand what I want and get it". I feel a bit discarded. Granted, I am a bit hormonal atm, but I thought that subs are at least willing to follow-up. Now I don't know whether to write him. I hate running behind men.
I guess the chemistry was soo good in person and he was sweet and attentive and hormones just play a huge role in me feeling...attached, for no reason?
What would your advice be? I definitely feel like I'd love to find a new sub if this blows over, I love how much trust and respect I found in this.
Thanks for your understanding.
A very confused baby female dom.
Edit to add: Thank you everyone for your kind responses 🥺🥺🥺 they make me feel so validated and seen and not alone.