2 Years Deep
Hi hi! First off, want to say this community is awesome. I've been daily driving BS for like 2 years and GURL... What a wild ride it's been so far. A little bit of a back story (cause why not). I grew up in a very evangelical christian household. Like having to read the "book" everyday before I could even go hangout with my friends etc... From that I think you can get the idea. 2 years ago, I was having a conversation with a couple of my friends about spicy things they like to do to keep the spark alive with their significant others. I was just a freshly birthed lesbian 😂💀 One of my friends mentioned that they love hypnosis and she went on and on about BS training. Her and her bf (now hubby) were into that sort of power dynamic play that inherently comes with BS programming. Naive me decided to msg said friend later after we all went home. It intrigued me and my AuDHD self decided to do some "research". It was a downhill slope from there (or uphill if you find BS programming beneficial like myself).
Now being raised in a very religious household left me some significant trauma. Being new out the closet made me feel vulnerable, ashamed, of who I was. This is where BS fundamentally changed my life. How you may ask...
- BS helped me turn off that negative inner voice that was conditioned since birth. There is something beneficial about going into trance and allowing yourself to completely let go. Now a huge caveat was that it took serious commitment and persistence to trance easily. I found that after a year of daily training, my inner monologue is positive? Like idk how to accurately describe it. I see myself as an improved human being that doesn't feel shame anymore, especially when it comes to sexual exploration and curiosity.
- Now as you may or may not inferred with my situation, I had significant performance anxiety when I decided to start being "active". It got in the way and I struggled for years to achieve an orgasm. TMI maybe lol. It was like a fucking road block and I couldn't for years shift my mindset. Then BS came along and after about 4 months I literally unlocked the ability to orgasm. Shocked the hell outta my gf in the process. Why mention this? BS in some way bypassed my trauma responses. Is this normal? I have no clue but it changed me in a positive way.
- Yes I made my gf aware of BS after about 2 months of dating. Had a very open conversation about it with her and she was and still is 100% on board. BS allowed me to open up sexually and I'm pretty sure it played a part in igniting my relationship with my gf to new levels. I have permission to share this so I am going to go into some detail. Now TBH, I don't exactly remember the training but one thing was real consistent, the way I feel after waking up. Theres this warm glow that runs through my body EVERY SINGLE TIME. That glow made everything feel fuzzy, comfortable, and allowed me to relax some. But also waking up a wet mess still is FUCKING AWESOME. Remember how I mentioned the power dynamic aspect thay my friend really liked. Well turns out I crave it LMFAO. Now obvs im in a very loving, secure, and trusting relationship so when B is out to play, I am in good hands. My gf tells me that when B is awake, she's feral. I didn't believe her until she recorded a video (NO I WILL NOT BE SHARING THAT SO DON'T ASK) and my god... No wonder I wake up a wet mess. All I can say to that is... strapons really are effective LMFAO. Another thing I find amazing is that when I am done programming, the after glow literally shuts me down. That's when I get to snuggle and cuddle. GURL... half tranced cuddles are literally the best. I barely remember much but I know the familiar safe comfort I get when im with my gf. Lowkey shes an angel.
- Now personality changes. It's 50/50. There is some bleed over into my daily life but nothing debilitating or problematic. More just find myself drifting off when I am extremely relaxed. I find it sorta nice to literally be able to shut my brain off when I am in the bath, or just having some close intimacy with my gf. There was a time or two where I was dead asleep and B sorta took over. My gf sorted those situations out real quick. That was more into year one. Haven't had anything like that happen since. My cognition remains intact so thats a huge plus. Mental health remains a net positive. Haven't had any significant anxiety attacks in a long time. Overall mentality and outlook on life? Pretty damn good if you ask me.
- Making the corellation between BS and net positive gains in my life cannot be overstated. BS gave me the confidence to move on from my "family" and create a new one with those who genuinely love me for me. Now is this attributable to a more stable environment? More than likely. However I cannot disregard the fact that after consistent BS programming, things shifted in a positive direction.
My overall thoughts on BS are simple. When done safely, it can be a really good thing. In order to engage with BS, theres a few safety issues that need to be addressed. SET BOUNDARIES WITH B. Seriously. I cannot state that enough. Also set boundaries with your partner or partners. Abuse can occur and when you're in a vulnerable state, you better be 100% sure the person or persons with you have your best interests in their hearts and minds. BS does have an addiction component to it and of you're struggling mentally with any form of addiction, steer well clear of BS. Your mental health is extremely important. Also please wear a damn uniform 😂 Doesn't need to elaborate. Can be a simple as a ring or as elaborate as a full outfit. JUST FUCKING WEAR SOMETHING. I am extremely grateful that BS has done really positive things for me and I hope that it does for you too.
Ps. My friend knows everything about my journey.