u/Bearded_Anomoly

So I’m probably burying this in a sea of 40,000 other dudes and two very overwhelmed women, but here goes nothing anyway.
I’m 34, East Coast, married with kids. Let’s get the standard stuff out of the way first: I’m not here to blow up your life or change mine, but I’ve got my reasons and I’m an open book about them if we actually get a chance to chat. Physically, I’m 5’10, I’ve got a solid beard, one tattoo, and I’m a larger guy.

As the title says, I’m looking for my Padmé. I lean a little more Sith personally—I’m a firm believer the Empire did nothing wrong and Maul is way cooler than Vader—but I’m looking for that real connection. The kind where your phone lights up and you get that dumb, uncontrollable smile on your face because you feel wanted. I’m honestly not big on jumping straight into the dirty talk; I’d much rather build a real friendship and let the tension grow naturally. Who you are as a person matters way more to me than age, height, or weight.

About me... I’m a hopeless romantic who actually enjoys sending the good morning and night texts. I’m sarcastic, I have a dark sense of humor, and I basically speak in GIFs. I'm a total nerd—if it’s Star Wars, video games, or horror movies, I’m probably your guy. My favorite Pokemon is Gengar and my favorite color is lime green.

Musically, I’m basically forever chasing the high of the Warped Tour—lots of pop-punk, emo, and rock. If we ever drive anywhere, just know you’re getting a private concert that sounds like a dying cat and a tone-deaf bird having a duet. I’m an introvert and a bit of a workaholic, but I’m here and waiting for the right person to click with.

If any of that sounds like your vibe, shoot me a message.

TL;DR: Big, bearded nerd looking for a real connection and someone who can handle my terrible car-singing.

So, I’ll probably put a TL;DR at the end for those of who need it.

I assume by the time this gets posted, it’ll be buried beneath the other 40,000 men and 2 ladies that will be posting here but I won’t let that slow me down.

I am 34 years old, I’m a dude, I’m on the east coast of America, I have kids and I am married. I’m not looking to change your situation and I’m not looking to change mine. Let’s get that out of the way, I am here for my own reasons that I am more than happy to discuss with you should you choose to message me and give me a chance. I understand that physical attraction is important to many, I am 5’10, I have a great beard, one tattoo and I’m a larger guy.

Okay, so that’s out of the way and if you are still here I assume you have some kind of interest so here we go. As the title suggests, I am looking for my Padme, the one I can get to know and really fall for, someone I can connect with on a real level and really feel like I’m wanted and needed and be that one person in your life that when you see that notification you get that dumb cute uncontrollable smile across your face. About you? Physicalities aren’t as important to me as who you are as a person. Age, race, height, weight etc is all really just who you are and I have no real preference lol. And lastly I prefer to let our friendship grow naturally, not just jump straight into all that dirty talk, let us work and build towards that.

About me? Well, there’s tons to me, it’s just a matter of asking the right questions I guess but I am happy to lay a bit out here and hopefully we click a bit and have some in common. I am a hopeless romantic, I love sending that first good morning text and final good night text everyday, those quirky cute messages during the day when you’re busy to come back to. I’m also sarcastic and full of jokes, I have a dark sense of humor at times and I just hope it’s okay that I talk in GIFs. I love punk rock and pop rock and all things rock n roll. I love gangster movies and horror movies and Adam Sandler.

I’m a huge nerd, if it’s about Star Wars I probably know about it. Pop culture, video games and being an introvert are my specialty. My favorite pokemon is Gengar. My favorite color is lime green. My favorite number is 672 (I’m just kidding I don’t have a favorite number). And whenever I drive, it’s a personal concert in the car featuring a dying cat and a tone deaf bird! I am a work a holic.

Seriously though, if any of this clicks with you, shoot me a message. I’m here and waiting.

TL;DR - fat nerd seeking someone to accept me for me.

(there is a TL;DR at the end) If your reading this than at least the title probably made smirk slightly. Give me an honest shot and see what I have to say.

34, dude, EST, I’m heavy set, magical beard, a tattoo, 4 kids, work-a-holic and here for the same reason the rest of y’all are.

Obligatory not here to change anyone’s situation. Don’t even know why I’m here anymore, but let’s continue.

If you’ve gotten this far, the boring and “uninterested” part kept you reading so let’s get into it.

I’m married (obviously), I have 4 kids, I’m 34 years old. I really don’t know what to put on here that will attract the right person, so I will do my best. I am 5’10 but I’m fat, to be blunt about it, I know it’s not everybody’s preference and if it’s not yours the rest of this won’t matter anyway. I have 1 tattoo and no piercings. I have what has been referred to (by other guys mind you) an amazing beard lol. I really want to meet someone who I can get to know, let the friendship grow naturally into what I’d intend to hope is a relationship. The sexy sexy talk and all that naughty whatever stuff is fine, but keep it to yourself for a bit, it ruins friendships quicker than Anakin ruined the Jedi Order, if it comes to that, fan-tastic, but seriously let’s get to know each other first. Also I prefer not to send selfies out the gate, I want to get to know you for you. I don’t have a preference on physicalities of a person, big small tall short blond red black white I don’t care, it’s who you are that I care about.

Let’s get into some interests now, because after all we need something actually in common. I’m just gonna list a bunch of shit I like, and we can run off that. Star Wars, emo / punk rock (warped tour 2026 babyyyy), Harry Potter, pokemon, video games, hiking, astronomy, cooking, cars, power tools, NASCAR, and FIRE.

So now some important things, if you need reassurance 24/7, it’s not going to work because honestly I can’t think of people who have energy for that anymore, if I’m talking to you, making time for you and showing interest, Im interested. It’s really that simple. I’m available 24/7 (I’m up from 3am to like midnight daily unless I crash out and pass out asleep lol) you can message me at any given time and it would be zero issue! I might not get back within 30 seconds of your message depending on time of day but I’d say within 15 minutes I’m pretty good about unless we’re already chatting, then obviously ill be responding quickly. I generally do not discuss politics or religion because it’s a very volatile subject. We both have our beliefs, I prefer to keep it at that.

Why did I write this the way I did? Because I want to be up front about everything out the gate, I don’t want to waste anyone’s time. Seriously though, if you’re interested, message me. Let’s get to chatting and see where it goes 💚

TL;DR? Find another post. If you couldn’t take the time to at least skim though, then it won’t work. But real TL;DR, I’m fat, I’m 34, I got kids, I’m in a shit hole marriage and I wanna find someone I can really connect with on a real level that isn’t sex oriented.