u/Beginning-Fee5328

Doesn't even have to be all cute and romantic. Could be the awful shit you see in porn and whatever else your deranged mind would want, because i simply do not care anymore.

Was formed to be the bitter one I am today by years of longing for a taste. Softly playing while we laugh and shy away from the others gaze. It's not what you want out of this though

So i don't care if it hurts. I lost all sense of dignity and self respect a while ago.

All I want is the sound of happiness from you

So i stared a bit in the mirror, thoughts of my inability to act human started acting up(?)

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I decided to shave so I could prove to myself maybe that even if im not very much internally. If im a bad person, a bad listener, a bad citizen, fucking.. horrible as a friend as a daughter just a waste of space and oxygen but i really want to believe that im more. That i could achieve anything in life.

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But my thoughts tie me down to the point where im convinced i dont deserve to connect with people and everyone trying to get close to me is just fucking with me.

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I just want to drink my life away

I dont really want to do this anymore. Most people just bore me and even seeing a video of someone cumming is deeply anticlimactic. Stupid fucking instinct driven retards that make you believe youre worth something to them.

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It breaks my heart stalking the girls in this subreddit, I wish I could fix everything. I wish everyone would be happy.

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Its a paradox, really. You cannot have this strong urge to change things when you havent seen whats being done- but when it was done to you, you freeze and watch the world roll down like credits to a shit movie everyone likes. Mentioning everyone. But you.

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You don't see your role in it. In people's lives. You only see whats happening to you and how you could survive. Emotionally. How you could feel okay, even momentarily when you try to make yourself believe that you made someone feel good. Maybe you have a use. Maybe they could see beyond you just having a use, and see the person.

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But yeah yeah im ranting probably.. stupid bitches they must shut the fuck up and open their legs. Face down, ass up, whatever they say.

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