How do I not grow attached?
(Sorry if this is rambly, this turned into a bit of a vent but would like to hear others perspectives if possible)
So my play partner and I have been together for around 4 months now, we kinda started this under the assumption of me being a place holder for when he gets into a relationship and there are various reasons for it but that person cannot and will not be me. He was welcome to explore other connections (obviously, but I wanted no part in knowing about them) and so was i as I had been dating/talking to people, and I have been committed to this stance since we started but recently it's been wavering. Not in the sense of feeling anything romantic for him (at least I think) but rather in the sense of a deepening emotional bond for something meant to end and not last. This is an online dynamic, we have phone sex regularly and it's been something I've enjoyed alot and he's helped me explore my submissive side immensely. But also we text daily (I don't think there's ever been a time where we stopped talking for a few days) and there are times where we call and are just friends, we don't have sex and tho our conversations air on the side of sexual we also talk about the emotional aspects and have therapy time where he vents to me about his struggles. He's also brought up the idea of seeing me and what it would be like if we were together and there were times where I felt it was like he was catching feelings or wanted to explore something more romantic and I largely shut that down and I would remind him that I wanted something platonic and only online which he respected. While I did mention to him I was dating and talking to folks, at some point he became the priority, we'd start using petnames, would say that we couldn't see a life without each other in it, etc. And he just fills my mind. He used to say he wanted me obsessed with him and despite my best efforts not to have that happen (as im largely avoidant and tbh I hate the idea of being obsessed with anyone or relying on anyone - still working on it) he found his way there -3-. In one of our recent conversations he's mentioned that for a couple months now I was the only person he's been having phone sex with, that I did it so well, he was always satisfied, and that I was the apple of his eye. And I can't lie yall that gave me butterflies to hear, and this isn't the first time he's said something like this (as i mentioned before) but it made my heart swoon, it made me happy. I guess I was getting used to it because today/last night the conversation came up where I was worried and he mentioned that if something ever came up, I'd be the first to know, and I joked that we were close but not that close and his family should to where he said something along the lines of "yeah but you want be more close, in more ways than one" and I told him I disagreed, that I was very happy where we were. And I could tell he closed off to where I asked him how he felt about our dynamic and he said it was okay, and I asked if he was happy to which he said he was but he wanted more and he knew that I couldn't/wouldn't give it to him. And yall when he said that, a part of me died a little, and I asked if he wanted to find someone to supplement and he said he was looking. sigh anyways the conversation ended when I said I get it but I was just so used to getting his sole attention and so I wanted a bit of space to talk and here we are. The thing is I was more than happy to keep it where it was initially with each other seeing others but idk, am I catching feels? Or am i just possessive? I dont want to be selfish and keep him as solely mine if it means I can't meet his needs entirely and I have been okay with it previously but I think there was a shift when he said I was the only one and now he's telling me he needs more, how do I approach this? Ive always wanted something more casual with an emotional connection (fwb vibes) I think honestly it feels better having vented this out but any thoughts or advice to not get more attached?