I want to be pinned down by a man much stronger and bigger than me. I want to feel his weight on top of me, as his cock is forcing its way inside of me, stretching me out for the very first time. I want him to tell me I’m a good girl while he’s raping me. I want my pain and my tears to turn him on, to give him joy.
I went on a walk but even then I couldn’t help it and had to get some material for the pervs I show off to.
I’m so scared of actually interacting with people that I just hope someone overpowers me and takes my virginity. I wish I had run into some bad man looking like this.
Every night before I go to sleep, I whore myself out online. Just taking the pictures gets me wet. Then I talk to guys who are mean to me and get even more wet.
I keep my door unlocked. I make my holes easily accessible. Waiting and hoping someone special will come to visit me at night.
It’s not enough, maybe if I keep the door open he will be tempted..
Growing up my dad treated my mom like his maid and his cook, he was mean to her, made her cry when he got angry. He’s racist, homophobic, transphobic etc. I told myself I’d never end up like this. He was a role model of who not to be, who to not associate with. I wanted to find a good, kind, empathetic man.
Turns out the only men interested in me are like my dad. And it turns me on. I guess he really taught me what the worth of a woman is. Even if a kind man approached me I don’t think I’d want him. I’m not meant for someone like that.
Now I’m attracted to men over 40, overweight, ugly, mean. Just like my dad.
I used to wish for a dad that loved me, now I wish for someone who will continue the abuse.
When I play with myself putting a finger in my ass honestly feels better than in my pussy. Should I stay a virgin and only get fucked in my ass? I also like the idea of not using any lube, maybe just spit and/or my pussy juice.
No risk of getting pregnant when guys cum inside me too.
I’m still a virgin, still only sucked one cock.
I want to be brave again. I’m so anxious all the time. The man I sucked off said he’d meet with me again, but the next day I got a message saying he fell asleep. Guess I wasn’t good enough, guess he doesn’t really want to meet again.
He didn’t even want to bring me to his house, it happened outside. I don’t deserve comfort or safety and privacy.
What is wrong with me that it makes me want him more. I want him to want me, to grope me, tear off my clothes, use me, punish me for not being good enough.
He should’ve pushed me to do more for him the first time. I was so nervous and just wanted to do a good job for him. I wouldn’t have said no if he pushed. If I did say no, then a slap would remind me of my place. I need to learn. I hope I can find someone to teach me.
I met him online, agreed to meet after two hours of talking. He was 42, tall and fat. He picked me up in his car and we drove to a secluded place. We got out of the car and he took his dick out. I touched it with my hand first, then got down on my knees and put him in my mouth. He tasted soft. I was nervous but I wanted to do a good job. I tried to put all of it in my mouth but I gagged. He put his hands on my head and pushed it deeper, making me gag again. My eyes watered. I kept sucking, tried to focus on the head using my tongue. He pushed my head down again. He asked if I liked it and I said yes. I wanted to like it.
When he got close he took it out of my mouth and started jerking off. I instinctively opened my mouth wide. He came, his cum was watery and tasted bitter. I was proud of myself. We got back in the car and he drove me back. I sucked cock before I even got kissed.