I'm not sure if anyone else experiences this but whenever he does something to me, it's so obvious that he doesn't care, doesn't feel guilty and will do it again. It's so weird but I just want it to be acknowledged and for him to comfort me or something but he never does. I'm just here crying and waiting for something that'll never happen. It's kinda silly.
Hi everyone, maybe a bit of an out of the ordinary post here. I've been in these sort of spaces for the past couple years and have grown more experienced with chatting with girls who like feeling little, and exploring together the icky things that happened to them and turn them on when we play.
The things we imagine and dirty talk about together can get very naughty, and very intense, but I check on my sub when something is new, and make sure she's ok when we're still learning each other. And when we have chemistry I enjoy calling and chatting about sfw, non-kinky things as well, and getting to know each other. It's hotter and more fulfilling to know and experience my sub as a whole, in all her facets light and dark, rather than just one side with no greater depth.
The issues arise when my sub stops communicating or I get ghosted, especially when a longer-term or monogamous dynamic is discussed. I understand a lot of shame and negative emotions can come bundled up with these darker kinks, but I'm always careful to help my sub feel looked after when things get particularly intense.
I guess this post is a bit of a complaint and a question: why do so many little girls run away even when we specifically discuss a dynamic/relationship that's more than just physical? Is there any girl out there with a darker side who's interested in building something real, too? Or is it all just fantasy you're planning on leaving behind once your "real" life begins? I think the darker things remain a part of you, but they can be built upon and embraced as part of a greater whole.
Interested in hearing everyone's thoughts.
Hii, this isn’t necessarily an invitation but more of a vent I guess, but don’t be too conservative please.
As a teen I used to get d pics almost every day. And I didn’t really like them at the time. Sure some I stared at and maybe drooled over a bit. But in general it wasn’t my cup of tea. Now after a few years of not getting them, I honestly kind of miss them. I never thought that would happen, like I honestly wasn’t interested. But now I miss getting them, admiring the pretty ones, feeling wanted in a weird way. Ughhh when did my brain break like this
I’m hoping a huge bbc monster man will come whisk me away, make me his bride, and turn me into his kink-doll…
Breed me nonstop. We’ll have the finest nanny to care for the children when you need me and I’ll switch back to mommy mode right after I’ve handled my wifely duties.
(My nipples are hard and I’m throbbing as I type this.)
Lock me in your sex palace and force me to raise your seed. Make me prove my womanhood.
i dont know if i really understand this but its how i see it for now. when i was reeally young, i had this huge crush on older sister's guy friend. he took an interest in me and hung out with me and my best friend. we looked up to him a lot and he told us all the time how much we NEEDED to be ready for boys and no one would like us if we didn't have experience. we took it all in and he basically convinced us we had to be porn stars if we wanted a social life.
it started with him getting us to kiss him for 'practice'. we did it a few times but it made us really uncomfortable and we said no. then he suggested we practice with each other. that seemed weird but not as uncomfortable so we tried it a bit and he was really pushing us to keep going.
it was weird between us for a bit after doing that, but then she really awkwardly said she wanted to try it again cause maybe it would be better and we really did need to learn how to kiss. she talked me into it, and she was right, it was easier without him watching us.
To skip over a lot of details, we started doing it a lot and then all the time. To us it was always just this 'practice" thing we did, and it was fun, but we didnt think of it the same way as when we kissed boys.
The same kind of insecurity made us watch a lot of porn to learn about sex and what makes a girl sexy and attractive and desireable and thats all we wanted. it was weird at first too, but again it got easier over time and we really got into it. we used what we saw there to push the boundaries in what we did with each other and watched and experimented and tried everything we could think of. before too long we were taking nude pics of each other, cuddling naked, doing all kinds of sexual stuff together. literally it was like a year before we were like, wait i think we're bi, haha.
so we carried that kind of insecurity and need to perform with us and we were doing porn start shit when other girls were hardly doing anything with boys. it kind of set us down a certain kind of path, and now even today i always feel the need to be the "best" at sex, i guess? Like i have to be the one who's willing to do what other girls won't, and i have to be the one who will give people absolutely memorable and special experiences so they'll always remember me and think of me that way.
like ok, yeah I have a lot of fun, and I have some amazing experiences and I love it. But sometimes i wish i could just chill about it and be a little vanilla like other girls. But then that also sounds so boring to me now. I don't know what to do, or what i'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm looking for a woman willing to receive photos of me so she can blackmail and expose me!
I'd like to be a submissive where I'd send a picture of myself, maybe jokingly, when the conversation got heated, and then lose control.
You were going to use this photo of me to blackmail me into doing more embarrassing tasks, and with that you would increase your arsenal of blackmail tools. Sometimes, they would take on an impossible task just to expose me somewhere, and then they would try to get my personal data, access to my cell phone, access to my social media, maybe even my bank account information.
And all of this is happening as he exposes me on Reddit, and threatens to expose me outside of it as well, making it increasingly dangerous and with no way out for me.
Anyway, that was just an idea, if you liked it send me a message containing asl
hi there! i'm writing this during work, between bursts of customers, so i want to start this with a brief apology in case any formatting is off or in case i lose my train of thought and change all of a sudden! i hope you can still follow along :) also, it's being written in my notes app, because the data here sucks butt cheeks and i don't trust reddit to not delete everything if i have to pause! :)
this is mostly gonna be a post to kind of work through some emotions i suppose? i'm posting it here because it does have to deal heavily with trauma based kink, you can jack off to this if you want ig, but that's not the intended purpose lmfao
also, it's gonna be very back and forth because of the time between writing, so if i don't finish a thought and you're curious of the rest, feel free to comment or message to ask for clarification!
the main thing on my mind rn i suppose is that it feels like everyone is leaving me? which is kind of silly, i know realistically that's not happening, but i can't stop my brain from thinking that lol
for example, D, who has been my fp for maybe 4 years? he's been losing feelings for me for 2 months or so and he didn't say a word about it until i fully split on him 2 days ago, bc he promised to message more (which was obviously a lie and he didn't care that much if he didn't care to keep up a promise like 'message first at some point'), and then i went a week without messaging and got nothing. i'm still so so upset with him, i've been upset for a while now and my muscles ache so bad from being so tensed up
bc, fun fact, when the body feels too much emotion, it stores it wherever it can if it can't be expelled! so now my muscles and joints just hurt so so fucking much and nothing has helped
in an ideal world i'd love to be able to just get a massage bc that would be so nice but i rlly can't bc im broke on top of everything
i had other ppl leave or get partners (so functionally leave bc we only had a sexual relationship) but, like i said would happen, my brain switched tracks lmao
i'm kinda sad that today's my last day of my job
i wasn't fired or anything but im moving home for the summer soon, which im also not excited about
at least while im in chicago i can go out and get fucked if i'm that desperate, like there's always an option for me to get physical touch
i don't have that back home, so im just gonna be going months and months with very little physical contact or even rlly irl contact with just. other human beings :(
i also feel so dirty rn in every sense, i feel physically gross but also i just feel dirty mentally in a very very bad way
i went to a bdsm club last night for a horror movie munch that i thought would be fun but it was just boring :( i rlly rlly didn't like it
im making a few new friends on here , mostly from my other posts, but a lot of the ppl who respond just . suck
but wtv
everything hurts so insanely bad, i cant believe ive only been here for 3 hours, everything i do hurts my ankles and wrists and they can't even let me use a chair be though this position is the one that would benefit from a chair the most
there's no logical reason that i have to stand the entire time
i mean really im not even getting this paycheck until the week after i leave and am home so why does it matter that im even here?? like i enjoy working here but fuck i could be cleaning i could be packing i could be doing homework i could be singing and working on my voice i could be doing something helpful or worthwhile
but whatever i guess
i am realizing this is kinda a good medium to show how fast my emotions change bc of bpd, bc im not going back and editing anything and there's only like 5-15 mins between each addition
i feel like im yapping a lot though
prob bc i am
i can't help it though, i love writing, especially emotional writing, it just flows out of me
i also enjoy writing bc it help get the feelings out so it hurts me less, plus this is all the stuff running through my head 24/7 anyways, in this exact format (like the way things are phrased in my writing is generally the same way it's phrased in my head)
idk why but i always talk in my head like im talking to a group of people lmao
probably means nothing (there's a reason my therapist was considering a dissociative diagnosis for me, but i think it's just dissociation plus bpd stuff but idk i do always feel like different people but that doesn't rlly matter rn lmao)
anyways this is prob gonna be the end of this post unless there's a big batch of customers and i think of smth els e to share during that lol
if i do add more ill be in the comments tho bci hate editing posts idk why it has evil energy to me