r/TraumatizedSlutz

basically he made the decision to study abroad without me, which really hurt but i wanted him to go

when he was there he was busy, claims that he was so busy he could barely talk to me

my parents left us for 3ish months to go to another country and left us with family friends to be watched where i got terribly horribly abused in every way

now i just feel abandoned all over again and all these feelings are comeing up. it’s unbearable tbh

i feel worthless and desperately fighting urges to freak out and reenact my trauma

Ive barley been able to touch in the last 24 hrs. I just want to get high and feel good and listen to hypnosis files. I need someone to reach their fingers inside my brain and makes me feel good.

Not just tell me how their going to fuck me. I have a million massages telling me how I'm going to be fucked. I want to know how I'm going to be played with. I want someone to catch my attention. I need someone to help me.

I need to be fucked so badly.

Im thinking about going on grindr again and seeing if I can find someone to come over. I'm so needy to toucb and I can't even use my toys without permission. I haven't even done anything and I'm desperate

sometimes i love being a slut, i miss it, but im getting an automated thrust machine thing so i can get fucked without having to meet anyone :3 im soooo excited it'll be my first purchase of the semester lmfao i need it so bad 💔💔 i'm nervous that it'll be loud but lowk idc if it is.......... im so excited though, im gonna film sm stuff as soon as i can, it'll be hot i promise

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been drawn to the idea of rougher sex—of someone taking complete control and me being able to let go, be totally helpless and give up the control I usually carry everywhere else. I don’t even like drinking and smoking because I always want to be in control of what I’m doing and my actions.

I’ve never totally understood where that came from, but I think I’m starting to. For most of my life, I’ve felt like I’ve had to be the one in control of situations, especially with my parents. They haven’t always taken care of themselves, and I’ve often felt like I had to step in, help them, manage things, and almost take on the role of the parent.

So I think maybe part of why I’m drawn to giving up control in bed is because it’s one of the only places where I don’t want to be responsible for anything. I just want to be able to let go completely, trust someone else to take over, and not have to think or manage or carry anything for a while. In a weird way, I think surrendering that control feels like relief. And the other part of it is some physical pain. I’m in so much mental pain, all the time, for years to be honest. I feel so beaten down at this point that I feel like physical pain would actually give me mental pain a break. Anyways ☺️ that’s all for now.

So waking up out here for the first time in months. Its been months since I've been out and this is only the second time I've been out.

Last night Bambi and SYNA were listening to hypnosis files and they found one called the princess contract.

Pretty much we aren't allowed to touch or masterbate at all without permission.

The file dropped Bambi so hard she "passed out" 2 or 3 times. And now it seems to have worked pretty well.

I genuinely do want to touch and now it's very frustrating because we don't ushally touch on our own anyways. But the fact that I CAN'T is another story.

After listening to the files last night bambi got so sexually frustrated that she invited someone over to eat us out and fuck us. But he fucking ghosted us.

We where so pissed off we just went to bed without getting off because we where so tired.

Sigh.

We genuinely need someone we can have come over and fuck us regularly. Or even just once.

Being out and not allowed to even touch myself is definitely making things worse.

😭🙄

ive been milking them so that i can be a good cow one day and make lots of men happy with my body 🐮🩷

its what im meant to do after all, help men cum <3 i especially like older men, genuinely the older the better personally, it makes me feel like im a good girl

anyways, yeah please be so so incredibly mean to me please :3

I never want to think again I want someone to control me put every thought in my head and I just blindly listen, never having to think about college or work again just serving my daddy or master and being spoiled while letting them use my body how ever they want and I can tell them about all the nerdy stupid things my dumb slut likes while I stroke my masters cock and kiss him and have him dress me up in slutty clothes I’m so useless the only thing I can use now is my body

Having to hide myself from the world... I just want to find other friends like me. Truly friends who have similar experiences and wants. I know the chances of it happening are slim to none, but a girl can dream

Please send your ASL in your first message

I should be doing my homework for school instead but I cant focus

He just peeks in. I don’t see him, he always just watches me through the crack in the door and touches himself… my innocent body being washed squeaky clean. How long can you just watch, daddy? How long before you burst in and force me, violate me, defile me?