I had my first sexual experience with an older man. For context I’m 26(m) and he’s a 42(m). I met him a couple months ago on Grindr and this was only the 2nd time meeting up. Was I taken advantage of ?
Everything was normal, we met at a hotel like we had before and we were just kissing and cuddling on the bed. things got heated quick and I got the courage to ask him if he could rub his cock in between my ass just so I could finally know what a real one feels like and he said sure. I was dying to know. He told me to lay on my stomach so I did & kinda just tried to arch a little. He began to slide it up and down and it honestly felt fucken great. That lasted about 5 minutes.
But then, I hear him crack something open, and I feel a wetness start to drip. It was Lube. He doesn’t really say anything he just starts to slowly rub it on my hole and is sort of playing with it. at this point I start to get a little nervous, but I just assumed he was going to try and finger my ass as he rubbed his dick on me. Which I might’ve been open too. Yeahhh nope. I feel him press the head of his cock slowly on my hole.
I had only ever practiced with a toy like once or twice! I just remember holding his wrists as he would try to slide more in. He used a ton of lube and tried slowly at first but it was tough because I think I was tightening up. He kept teasing with just his head until I finally feel it slide in. I couldn’t believe what was actually happening. I’m just extremely conflicted and embarrassed because that’s not what I went for. And It just felt like in that moment, I didn’t have a say. Yet at the same time I never spoke up,
I feel even more shitty because a lot of it felt…good. I felt powerless like I had to just take it. As he was thrusting into me I even found myself moaning , whether from the pain or arousal I couldn’t really tell.i had to eventually tell him , “stop , stop” because I wasn’t exactly ready for the moment and as he was thrusting it almost felt like I was going to go #2. There’s more to the story but this seems too long as it is. Any advice or opinions on how to handle something like this? Am I just overthinking things.