u/BillZZ7777

Maybe this isn't emotional "cuckolding" in the lifestyle sense but I think by strict definition it is. I've posted many times before, not so much fantasy, just the facts. My girlfriend of 9 years and I eased into the Hotwife dynamic just before COVID and then COVID paused it and we resumed afterwards. She's been seeing her current FWB for over a year. He's married with two adult kids at home and he and his wife are more like roommates. She has another partner as well she's been seeing for years.

In the beginning we talked about poly and my girlfriend was against it. These days she gives me the generic, non specific comment occasionally that it's possible to love more than one person. So she and her FWB had their first overnight recently. She said it was a 9 out of 10. Over the past 6 months I've asked her to score their emotional connection with the idea that, like an 8 out of 10 means I should be concerned and she's said they are at a 7 out of 10.

Over the past month they have been sharing more and experimenting more. A lot more outfits and toys getting delivered for their enjoyment. They're talking threesomes. During their overnight they got high and feelings were expressed, mainly by him, and she cut him off and said it was the weed. She also added that it's natural to grow closer and have feelings. My girlfriend said they are still 7 out of 10 on the emotional level but warned me it's about to change.

Maybe I've built this rating system up too much. What happens if they get to 8/10. Does it mean they start sharing I love yous? Does it take another year to get to 9 or is it a slippery slope.

We communicate great so she knows im basically a submissive, emotional masochist that loves to please and sacrifice. She's cautions about the feelings but open to letting them run their course and enjoy the journey. She's a very kind and caring person so being mean isn't in her DNA but when she wants something she remembers how to push my buttons to get her way.

Apologies for the ramble. Just my therapy on my train ride to work. They're seeing each other 2x this week.

I'm getting what I asked for. This was the first night ever after years of doing this where I got nothing after I came home. I talked about it with her previously and said I'd understand... but it's still tough to take. He wore her out. I even took a quick shower when I got home so now I feel like an idiot. They did new things together. Usually when she's had enough she at least has me jerk off next to her. It's a little depressing. And next week they're going away for their first overnight so that will be two encounters in a row with no reclaim.

Part of me wants to take it to the extreme to show I can handle it. Like to avoid sex for a week so she can tell him that he was the last time (that would be a first too). Got a feeling it's going to be a long week.