I've been into femdom ever since I can remember. I had fantasies about being helpless and tortured by women since before I knew what sex is. But I'm 36 and have always been too afraid to act on it, afraid anyone would find out, too embarrassed of even talking about it. My fantasies are mostly F/m unwilling helplessness CNC stuff, which seem relatively rare not only in the general population or in the bdsm community but also umcommon among men in the femdom community and even rarer among womem from the femdom community. Years ago I signed up to an online femdom forum. I read through some posts, and when I gathered courage I posted my first post. I talked about how don't like willingly submitting. A domme responded and told me I'm not really a sub or into femdom. Honestly, it kinda broke me. I was searching for people to understand me, I thought that was the community for it, and I was told 'I was a freak', in a sense. I never returned to that forum.
That made me feel so alone. Like it's impossible to find someone that I could share my enthusiasm with. Recently I gathered the courage to join kink discord servers. My experience so far had been much better. Honestly, just interacting with people in a place where my kinks are accepted, where I can lightly flirt about female domination stuff and it'll feel normal, is a huge help. But I'm still trying to find people with whom I share?more interests. I find willing surrender dull (no offense!) and really need elements of helplessness, forcefulness, CNC, sadism, and similar to feel into a scene.
Are there any online communities out there where I'll really fit? I just hate feeling like there's no one in the world that would sexually enjoy being sexual with me and that I can enjoy back...
tl;dr - are there any femdom communies out there centered around CNC, helplessness, sadism, no protocol stuff?