Hi all!
Sorry that this is going to be long. And sorry if this post doesn’t belong here.
I am verrrry new to the BDSM community but have always felt drawn to it. I’m bisexual for reference but my experience with women was almost nothing (women are hot and scare me with how hot they are lol). I’m sure a lot of people can relate, but growing up sex was not talked about and if it was, it wasn’t in a positive light. So for a long time I felt like I had to hide who I was and what I was interested in. Well i went through a whole identity crisis and decided to fuck what other people said and actually explore my sexuality like I want to. Now to preface, i never originally intended to hookup with a couple or really be involved with a couple. I was open to threesomes and such but I guess I never considered being with a couple since I considered myself a monogamous person.
Well anyway, i downloaded Feeld (I’m sure there are mixed opinions…I know). Talked with some guys here and there. Got ghosted. But no in person meetings came out of it yet. Well this one guy, we will name him Liam, pinged me a cute but flirty message of course noting his interest. I read and re read his profile and could also see his partners, we shall call her Emily, profile as well. It took me a whole day to really consider if i wanted to actually match with him, but eventually did! They are attractive and i really thought “why the hell not lets just see what happens” fully expecting it to either go nowhere or just be a one night stand.
Liam asked really good questions in our initial conversations. Wanted to know my hard and soft limits and all the “basic” info. Liam also asked what I was looking for. At the time I just wanted to experiment and was basically wanting a FWB situation, however, if things progressed in a relationship kind of direction then i was open to that. And i told him as such. Him and Emily were fine with either and Liam was primarily looking for a girlfriend for Emily, but it wasn’t a requirement to be involved with them. Also in talking with Liam, respecting boundaries, consent, and safety were his top priority, which I loved! He mentioned hes been a Dom for quite a long time and he ended up being very easy to talk to. It was easy to open up to him and be vulnerable and I was getting a good vibe and feeling comfortable with him. He also let me know that him and Emily were in a 24/7 power exchange as well, which at the time was something I had only heard about but never saw or experienced it. After about a week of talking we decide to meet up to basically hook up. This was also going to be the first time I met Emily so I was so nervous she wasn’t even going to like me.
To make a long story short, we all really hit it off and i tried a lot of new things that I always wanted to try but never had the safe space to do so. So that first interaction confirmed a lot of my kinks and preferences, because sometimes things that you think you might want, you end up not liking. It was also fun because beforehand we were just hanging out like friends and playing video games and watching TV, so it was an opportunity to relax and get to know them both better on a friend level.
Now ive been meeting up with them for a month now and have slept overnight at their place once. I have literally spent close to 32 hours with them one weekend and was with them more than i was at home. Liam would make dinner for all of us and Emily and I would cuddle on the couch.
However, now i fear that i am developing feelings for both of them. I never anticipated this happening nor could i understand how someone could have feelings for two people at once. So its all new feelings and I don’t quite know what I should do here. Liam is a really good Dom (though I don’t have much experience), and i am LOVING the dom/sub dynamic and playing with both of them. They make me feel good but i fear that i shot myself in the foot by just saying i want just FWB. I also worry about the logistics of everything if we did pursue a relationship, like where would i fit into their life? I dont want to feel like the third person and be an afterthought. So i would love some insight from others who may have been in this situation of developing actual feelings for your Dom. Or if you have brought in a third. Should i tell them how I feel? Wait a bit longer to see if my feelings are real and not just sexual? Just confused about new feelings and new experiences.
Sorry this was so long :)