Look, I got into this because the fantasy of being dominated is fucking hot. I've had these fantasies in my head since i was like 6 years old, and they have persisted all my life. But as I've grown, I'm realising more and more that it's not so much that I want to be topped, but that I want someone who I feel safe submitting to, who I can direct all my energy towards serving and being a devoted partner to.
Now that i'm moving towards actually seeking out a fem led relationship, I want to find scholarly research or essays primarily regarding the nonsexual side of masc submission within the context of a couples dynamic.
But everything I find is (understandably, frankly) kink related. And while I understand and freely accept that the form a relationship takes would be entirely up to my future partner, while I feel like I'd eventually be able to adapt to whatever they desire, I'm getting a little frustrated that I'm not learning all that I can about how to navigate a relationship, the emotions or hidden toxicity that might be brought to the surface, how to handle feelings of entitlement, etc.
So if there are any books/research/essays you could direct me to, either on flr directly, or books regarding modern intersectional feminism so I can try and piece together for myself a principled framework of behavior, I would be so grateful.
Thank you so much.