r/flr

I got out of my vanilla marriage in 2018. Decided that I desperately wanted an FLR. Met a super cool woman that lived in the projects.

What could go wrong in 2019, FI older white guy meets younger black women with multiple kids in the projects. Gets horny and professes his eternal devotion.

That woman knew exactly what she was doing and I don’t blame her. I moved her to Westchester right before Covid. Covid hits and her two sisters, aunt, and mom move in to our big place with a yard. No men around which is what fucked me.

I try to keep the FLR going, effectively winding up doing whatever everyone (all women) says. Gave my girl a card with 40k. Recognizing the Covid situation increased it to 100k.

Her sister is a coke addict, drugged me, her friends restrained me, made me dance on video with a wig while backing the money transfer. My girl says she will get half back but I think I am screwed.

Hey everyone,

English is not my first language, so sorry if some phrasing is a bit weird.

I’m currently trying to figure out what I actually want in a relationship, and I feel like in my head it makes total sense, but I’m wondering if this actually exists in real life or if anyone here lives a dynamic like this.

Basically, in everyday life, I feel like I need a soft FLR / Queen kind of dynamic. I want to have the final say and I want to be spoiled, cared for, and treated like a princess. I really need a partner who takes a lot of initiative – like planning dates, surprising me with random little gifts, taking care of things without me having to tell him what to do (the whole mental load thing). But the important part is: he needs to have confidence and zero fragile ego. So if he plans something really nice and I’m just like "sorry, I'm really not feeling it today", I need him to be totally chill about it, like "no problem at all, let's cancel, what do you feel like doing instead?". Also, I don't want a boring guy who just says yes to everything. I want someone who teases me, gets me out of my shell, is playful and a bit extroverted, but still completely respects that I'm the center of the relationship.

In bed, however, I want the exact opposite. I want to completely turn my brain off and give up control. I want him to be dominant, firm, maybe a bit of spanking, holding me down, demanding, etc. BUT purely for my pleasure. I don't want to dominate him at all, and I have zero interest in doing BDSM stuff just to please him, because to me that feels like work and kind of objectifying. I guess I'm looking for a "service top" or "pleasure dom" where his main turn-on is dominating me so that I have a great time and reach my climax.

So yeah... Queen and a bit of a brat in everyday life, but totally spoiled and submissive in the bedroom.

Does anyone here have a relationship like this? What would you even call this kind of dynamic, and how did you find someone who fits this without having an ego problem?

Would love to hear your experiences or thoughts on this!

I’m still pretty new to the femdom community and I’m curious about everyone’s experience. What’s one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you started? It can be about boundaries, subs, confidence, safety, or anything else.

hi! i’m sure some of you saw my posts a few days apart about starting things up officially with a contract and then thinking the dynamic was over a few days after signing.
i just wanted to update saying we have settled things and worked out what was wrong and now things are going great!!
i wanted to extend a thank you to anyone who offered advice/support through my difficult week and a lot of the input helped out a bunch! so thank you thank you thank you!!
hoping to be more involved now that i know my dynamic is working out :)

What do you think about anal licking?

Is it an act of submission for you, or just a common practice?

In my case, it's really a fairly occasional ritual of submission, often to put me in my place. When my behavior hasn't been in line with my wife's expectations, for example, when I've contradicted her, I sometimes apologize and then lick her anus. Sometimes, I'm still sulking, she lies on her stomach and orders me to lick her ass to put me in my place.

In any case, it always has a particular meaning for us.

Hey

Me and my wife both in our 40s decided a few months ago that we wanted to try out a female led marriage. It has been very good for us and its great to see my wife becoming more confident and blooming as a female. But as i read on different forums i see a lot of talk about cuckolding. So im wondering how common cuckolding really is in flr? Is it something that the relationship just evolves into, or is it more uncommon than what one could get the impression of? Thanks

Hey there, we are starting out on an FLR after a slow dynamic shift over 4 or 5 years.
We have realised that F is much better and comfortable in a dominant role.

The May be many more questions to come.

First question:
When F is asking for something to be done by M.
How politely would she ask?
In our dynamic currently, it’s full of please’s and thank you’s, we are just intrigued whether this is normal within an FLR, or other dynamics tend to be more direct, with it seen like an expected demand rather than a pleasant request.

I am 27 and all my life I knew I have a submissive side. I want to embrace female leadership as a whole. can I ask for some advice on how should I go about i? What can I do to not be taken advantage of and how to pro my willingness to submit to women

My wife (35) is my Goddess and I (41) am her slave in our domestic servitude BDSM femdom dynamic.

The night before I committed a serious infraction while serving as her outdoor chair in the grass. After about 15 minutes I began trembling. I mistakenly thought she was getting off (she was only readjusting), shifted, and she fell, hurting her wrist. She was deeply disappointed and remained reserved the rest of the evening despite my repeated apologies.

The next morning she told me how upset and disappointed she was and that I would receive a formal punishment that night.

When night arrived she locked the bedroom door and ordered me to fetch the mouth gag, crop, the harder-hitting whip, collar, and leash. She collared and leashed me, made me strip naked in front of her, gagged me, and put me on my knees while she calmly explained her disappointment. I could only make muffled sounds.

She ordered me onto all fours and whipped me hard with the crop, requiring me to count and thank her after every stroke. After roughly ten minutes she had me remove the gag, worship her feet, and apologize properly.

I thought it was over, but she informed me there were still ten hard strikes remaining. Back on hands and knees (still collared and leashed), she delivered seven very hard strokes with the crop (count + thank after each), then three more with the harder whip. I was trembling, scared, and in significant pain.

She then ordered ten minutes of foot worship (five minutes each foot), spat in my face three times, made me go down on her, and went to bed.

I’m still processing the intensity and the weight of having genuinely disappointed her. The locked door, the implements, the counting, the enforced silence, the foot worship, and the final acts left me deeply shaken and submissive.

For the other subs here: how do you typically feel in the hours and day after a severe, methodical punishment like this? Emotionally, physically, mentally…what usually comes up for you?

I am in in FLR since I met my (now) husband, but I wonder if that´s the case for evryone or in some cases he FLR develops over time or becuase of a specific event. Would love to know how it started for other couples

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In the manosphere, it was said that a woman would never love a man with little money—or less money than she has. I’d like to hear your opinions and experiences.

I know this isn't the best place to ask, but I want to know what men and women think about relationships with reversed roles.

About a year ago, during one of our weekly check-ins. My wife mentioned that she thinks I spend too much time on my phone, she mentioned about changing some settings on my devices and setting some kind of parental controls. We agreed to try it out. It was hard to adjust at first but I started getting used to it. Although sometime months later I found a way to kinda bypass it and got caught.

To my surprise about a week later. I woke up as usual and noticed a MDM program that was installed on my phone. Not really knowing what it was, I tried to delete it but couldn’t. My wife was still asleep so I grabbed my laptop and there too had this profile called canopy. Doing a simple search I found it was a parental control app. Once I got my wife up and getting her ready for the day. I asked what that was about and she mentioned that she really did not like my ability to sneak around her screen times on my phone. So she installed this program on my phone and laptop. Basically with very limited time on sites, browsers and apps still with night screen times. There’s lots of filters also on it so my little escape to some porn is all gone. She mentioned wanting a program that is impossible to bypass and I must say it’s true. I secretly tried early on and couldn’t so that’s basically what led on to myself having one. I do admit that it has greatly improved myself overall and we both agree, it’s helped tremendously.

Just curious to hear from others their experience and benefits they have gained from parental controls as well as sharing our experiences.

Hey all. I’m sure I’m not the only husband that has these awkward moments.

Sometimes and it could just be temporary or for the evening but the weight of life gets to my wife and at bed time she doesn’t want a massage or foot rub. Whether it’s the kids drove her crazy or something wrecked her mood I have to respect that at times she just wants to rest alone and be zen.

Naturally I’m locked up with a ton of energy and want to jump her bones or rub her all over or worship but I suppress that at these times lol. What’s the best thing I can do for her during these random nights? I feel bad just turning around and reading a book.

In our pussy free FLR, taking penetrative sex off the table for my husband isn’t about pushing him away, it’s really about completely reframing how we connect. But for a dynamic like this to thrive long term, clear communication and intentional validation are everything.

While I get to enjoy the ultimate freedom of being fulfilled by other dominant men, keeping my husband securely in chastity requires a solid foundation and plenty of patience. It’s easy to look at denial, cages, and verbal humiliation from the outside and assume it’s cold, but the reality is the exact opposite. Navigating this dynamic successfully means making sure he feels 100% confident in his role and completely secure in our marriage.

Taking PIV off the menu for him removes all the transactional noise, but it doesn't mean removing intimacy. Instead, our connection shifts to intentional validation. I make a point to focus on him through non-penetrative intimacy, clear direction, and direct praise for how well he maintains our home and supports my lifestyle. Being totally explicit and upfront about my desires for other men only works because the trust between us is rock solid.

Keyholding gives me total authority over his pleasure, but it also means taking responsibility for his emotional well being. Humiliation and discipline are thrilling parts of our dynamic, but they hit right because they exist inside a marriage built on emotional safety. He knows exactly where he stands: he is my dedicated, caged partner, and supporting my sexual freedom only makes our bond stronger.

Hi everyone,
I’m curious about dynamics where a partner is submissive in actions, but not in words.
For the women here: Have you ever dated a man who was naturally submissive and let you take total control, but resisted acknowledging it because of his ego, culture, or traditional views?
If you’ve naturally stepped into the dominant/leading role without formally labeling the relationship, what was that experience like for you?

Since this year began, my girlfriend and I agreed to try a Female-Led Relationship (FLR). She was thrilled about it — she’d been looking forward to a dynamic centered on her — but she was also nervous, because she didn’t fully know what it would actually look like in practice. Every month we found ourselves going deeper into it. We both loved it, and it fit us really well.
It started simply: she became the leader of our relationship, the dominant one, the one with the final say in decisions big and small. Over time, more elements got added, one after another. Spankings became a regular thing at the end of the week, the intensity depending on how “bad” I’d been. Pegging entered the picture too, along with a whole range of other BDSM experiences. Sometimes I’m only allowed to finish on her feet, and afterward I have to clean it up with my mouth.
Most recently, we’ve been slowly easing into cuckolding. She started texting with random men — quite a lot of messages back and forth during the week — and if things keep progressing well, we’re planning to eventually take it from just messages into something real.
But of course, it was never just about the kinks or the sex, and that’s not even how I started with FLR in the first place. At its heart, it’s about her being first in the relationship and me consciously staying second — and both of us being fully aware of that. It’s about her being a goddess to me, someone I worship as much as I possibly can, every single day. It’s about the fact that if she tells me to clean her dirty boots, I do it, and it wouldn’t even cross my mind to feel reluctant about it.
I love her. 💕🦋

So it happened again. Talking to a sub for months online because of distance. But we had video chats several times a week were getting more and more comfortable with each other. I shared something for the first time that was emotionally vulnerable for me and asked for support through it and when I returned from work, he has me blocked on multiple sites.

This seems to be a common thing I'm finding with subs and as much as I want this lifestyle I can't keep doing this.

Why is it so hard to have a conversation with someone?

Hi, I’m a denied cuck in a flr.
Last night we were watching tv together and at about 10.20 my Hotwife told me it was my bedtime and that I should go to my bedroom (I sleep in a single bed in the smallest bedroom in the house). This is the first time that she has done this and it made me feel so small. It really demonstrated the difference between us.
She stayed up watching tv and texting her Bull.
Any other couples do this?

I posted a few months ago about my girlfriend's rule that I need to swallow all of my own cum.

At the time, I was jerking off in private occasionally, without her knowing, and not always eating my cum.

Since then, I've switched to only jerking off while she supervises me. I have completely stopped jerking off in private.

I have far fewer orgasms now, but that just means I have more cum to eat when my girlfriend does finally let me jerk off while she watches.

She's enjoys watching me eat my cum, and I don't feel guilty about secretly jerking off anymore